Davkaus Posted March 31, 2017 Share Posted March 31, 2017 There must be some sort of legal standard they have to meet, right? I can understand them not being particularly clean, especially on a Friday or Saturday night, but not having locks/seats really pisses me off. There's a pub in Nottingham that I occasionally get dragged to that hasn't had a lock on the cubicles in the 10 years I've been going there. They could nip in to Wilko with a pound in their pocket to buy a lock and get change, it's ridiculous. I've occasionally been tempted to keep a bunch of them and a tiny screwdriver in my pocket on nights out and do some rogue lock-fitting. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted March 31, 2017 Share Posted March 31, 2017 (edited) Sorry guys, I'm a few days behind and I just love a good toilet story. Hmmm... my worst toilet experience? Good question, thanks for asking. I was in Jakarta and had eaten something that hadn't agreed with me. i was hitting a plush nightclub (X2 Jakarta - google image it as gives you a good idea of the type of place it was) with a group of girls from our office there. I was keen to impress as some of them were very agreeable to the eye... but I was getting a bit of a cold sweat on as my guts were churning like a washing machine... after a few uncomfortable beers, which weren't helping as I was getting cramps, I thought i need to go the bog... luckily the toilets were ok and I absolutely annihilated the cubicle... the relief when it came out... I think I actually howled like a wolf.... took 3 flushes to get rid of the first one. I say the first one as I must have had to go about 10 times in 2 hours. All this while trying to remain cool, calm and collected in front of a gaggle of attractive ladies. I had to ask the toilet troll (a kid no older than 16) to keep one cubicle exclusively for my use by giving him about £20. He was loving it! How did the night end? Well, I ended up in the back of a Toyota Rav 4 driven by one of the girls, who was paralytic and could barely stand. Her mate was in the passenger seat, helping her steer, and I was in the back with my mate Andy. She managed to navigate across the city, back to my hotel. Luckily the roads are fairly clear at 5am! Madness now when I think about it, we could have easily been in a smash. Anyway when she dropped us off, we said our farewells and me and my mate went to the 24 hour Burger King at the bottom of the road for some much needed fuel. From memory I had 2 double cheeseburgers! Edited March 31, 2017 by Xela 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trekka Posted March 31, 2017 VT Supporter Share Posted March 31, 2017 14 minutes ago, Xela said: Sorry guys, I'm a few days behind and I just love a good toilet story. Hmmm... my worst toilet experience? Good question, thanks for asking. I was in Jakarta and had eaten something that hadn't agreed with me. i was hitting a plush nightclub (X2 Jakarta - google image it as gives you a good idea of the type of place it was) with a group of girls from our office there. I was keen to impress as some of them were very agreeable to the eye... but I was getting a bit of a cold sweat on as my guts were churning like a washing machine... after a few uncomfortable beers, which were ween't helping as I was getting cramps, I thought i need to go the bog... luckily the toilets were ok and I absolutely annihilated the cubicle... the relief when it came out... I think I actually howled like a wolf.... took after 3 flushes to get rid of the first one. I say the first one as I must have had to go about 10 times in 2 hours. All this while trying to remain cool, calm and collected in front of a gaggle of attractive ladies. I had to ask the toilet troll (a kid no older than 16) to keep one cubicle exclusively for my use by giving him about £20. He was loving it! How did the night end? Well, I ended up in the back of a Toyota Rav 4 driven by one of the girls, who was paralytic and could barely stand. Her mate was in the passenger seat, helping her steer, and I was in the back with my mate Andy. She managed to navigate across the city, back to my hotel. Luckily the roads are fairly clear at 5am! Madness now when I think about it, we could have easily been in a smash. Anyway when she dropped us off, we said our farewells and me and my mate went to the 24 hour Burger King at the bottom of the road for some much needed fuel. From memory I had 2 double cheeseburgers! One to tell the grandkids for sure! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted March 31, 2017 Share Posted March 31, 2017 8 minutes ago, trekka said: One to tell the grandkids for sure! That was the tamest night out in Jakarta! The other nights... well, it'll be in my memoirs! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted April 1, 2017 Share Posted April 1, 2017 I don't think I have any shit stories, plenty of piss but no shit. Now if my gran was alive and a VTer then that would be a different story. She had her bowels removed because she had bowel cancer and had to have a bag. Countless problems from it with one of them being sometimes in the early hours of the morning it would explode and cover my grandad in shit. Thing is it was like water so you can imagine the mess. Now and again we used to have a chuckle about it behind his back but yeah that kind of limited her to what she could do and where she could go. Could of sued the hospital for thousands because they ****** it up but in her eyes they saved her life so she never bothered. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seat68 Posted April 2, 2017 Share Posted April 2, 2017 Not Colitis but have my own stomach issues so have spent many hours in the toilets of the world. Worst Los Angeles Union Station or Vegas Double Down Saloon. Man alive they were both grim. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sharkyvilla Posted April 2, 2017 Share Posted April 2, 2017 3 hours ago, Seat68 said: Not Colitis but have my own stomach issues so have spent many hours in the toilets of the world. Worst Los Angeles Union Station or Vegas Double Down Saloon. Man alive they were both grim. I was at a station in Sydney and the cubicles had doors only about half the size of normal ones, a bit like the saloon doors in old Western films. I thought that was very weird, as someone who wipes their arse standing up I was a bit self-conscious that everyone could see my face when I was wiping away. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisvilla4 Posted April 2, 2017 Share Posted April 2, 2017 I was out in Torquay and went to wetherspoons there. Id done some speed and suddenly felt the urge to go to the loo. Cubicle one- finished but no loo roll so onto each one until finally the fifth or six cubicle had some in. I was off my tits hopping around in each cubicle waiting until the coast was clear before moving to the next cubicle. Fun times 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted April 2, 2017 Share Posted April 2, 2017 4 minutes ago, chrisvilla4 said: I was out in Torquay and went to wetherspoons there. Id done some speed and suddenly felt the urge to go to the loo. Cubicle one- finished but no loo roll so onto each one until finally the fifth or six cubicle had some in. I was off my tits hopping around in each cubicle waiting until the coast was clear before moving to the next cubicle. Fun times I read that 100mph so I could kind of get the feeling of the post. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HanoiVillan Posted April 2, 2017 Share Posted April 2, 2017 (edited) I was driving around Brighton earlier, couldn't find a place to park, when I finally found a bog in a cinema lobby I was so desperate and in so much pain that I actually couldn't bend over to begin the process. Dark times. Edited April 2, 2017 by HanoiVillan 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted April 2, 2017 Share Posted April 2, 2017 1 minute ago, HanoiVillan said: I was driving around Brighton earlier, I actually couldn't bend over to begin the process. Dark times. I wouldn't bend over in Brighton either. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted April 2, 2017 Share Posted April 2, 2017 1 hour ago, HanoiVillan said: II was so desperate and in so much pain that I actually couldn't bend over to begin the process. Sorry... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted April 2, 2017 Share Posted April 2, 2017 1 hour ago, Rugeley Villa said: I wouldn't bend over in Brighton either. I was thinking about your slur against me the other day, at about 2am this morning when copious amounts of very strong ale did not hinder my filthy end to a great evening, so up yours Baldy 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted April 2, 2017 Share Posted April 2, 2017 9 minutes ago, rjw63 said: I was thinking about your slur against me the other day, at about 2am this morning when copious amounts of very strong ale did not hinder my filthy end to a great evening, so up yours Baldy Pics or GTFO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted April 2, 2017 Share Posted April 2, 2017 9 minutes ago, rjw63 said: I was thinking about your slur against me the other day, at about 2am this morning when copious amounts of very strong ale did not hinder my filthy end to a great evening, so up yours Baldy Didn't know you had it in you old man 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted April 2, 2017 Share Posted April 2, 2017 Just now, Rugeley Villa said: Pics or GTFO I've just been reminded I did take a video of something a bit NSFW, obviously I shall not be sharing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted April 2, 2017 Share Posted April 2, 2017 5 minutes ago, rjw63 said: I've just been reminded I did take a video of something a bit NSFW, obviously I shall not be sharing Embarrassed by your poor performance no doubt share the love brother. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted April 2, 2017 Share Posted April 2, 2017 Just now, Rugeley Villa said: Embarrassed by your poor performance no doubt share the love brother. Heh, no it was something else whilst in the city centre... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted April 2, 2017 Share Posted April 2, 2017 2 minutes ago, rjw63 said: Heh, no it was something else whilst in the city centre... Now I'm listening. Shall we move this over to pm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted April 2, 2017 Share Posted April 2, 2017 So anyway....things I don't get. Twitter. facebook is also very boring lately and I'd not bother if there weren't some great guys and gals in my list, and my addiction to Scrabble Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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