lapal_fan Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 I think it touches his front leg. handball. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted August 20, 2014 Author VT Supporter Share Posted August 20, 2014 Went for a pub lunch so didn't have time to write the match reports on my break. Plus got no laptop at home and you can get to **** if you think I'm writing them on my phone So the matches have taken place, but you'll have to wait until tomorrow to read the reports... Semi Finals are scheduled for Friday, with the Final to follow on Sunday Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 that doesn't give them much time to recuperate does it? I'm sure there are laws saying you can't make animals slaves. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted August 20, 2014 Author VT Supporter Share Posted August 20, 2014 Imaginary animals have incredible powers of recovery. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StefanAVFC Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 HUMANS 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 Imaginary animals have incredible powers of recovery. IMAGINARY?!??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted August 20, 2014 Author VT Supporter Share Posted August 20, 2014 Incredible Mega Awesome Giant Incredible Nextlevel Amazing Radical Yeehawwwww animals 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 Incredible Mega Awesome Giant Incredible Nextlevel Amazing Radical Yeehawwwww animals 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted August 21, 2014 Author VT Supporter Share Posted August 21, 2014 Match 11 - Gorillas vs Elephants The penultimate quarter final saw the much fancied Gorillas coming up against the brute force of the Elephants. The gorillas remained one of the favourites to win the tournament but knew they faced a tough task, with the Elephant proving in the last round that they were capable of an upset with their (ironic) giant killing heroics. The elephants had a large following, with the majority of their squad being of the African persuasion as opposed to their Indian cousins, so the atmosphere was very much a home one for them. The Gorillas had their fair share though, with a large contingent having made the trip from various jungles. The game got off to a ferocious start, with huge challenges flying in , mainly from the gorillas. It seemed a strange tactic against the might of the elephants, but it seems their manager had sent them out to rough the elephants up. A two footed challenge from Faustino Gorilla went unpunished but the Gorilla playmaker was unable to finish when the ball bobbled free as he saw his shot rebound off the steadfast Elephant Goalkeeper. But it was the Gorillas who took the lead with a quarter of the game elapsed. A high looping corner was trunked away by the elephant keeper, but having had to scurry to the penalty spot to make the clearance he was beautifully lobbed by king kong with a deft first time volley, his opposable big toe making it easy to caress the ball into the net. The elephants defended admirably, but were rather tuskless in attack. A few long direct balls found their targets but the strikers’ control was slow and their turning circle non-existent, and the gorillas were always able to nip in and steal the ball before launching a dangerous counter attack. The Elephants’ saviour was their goalkeeper, Elephant Der Sar who, despite his earlier error, kept the score at 1-0. That’s how the teams went in at the break, with the elephants needing some inspiration from their manager to mount any meaningful attacks. And that inspiration materialised, as the elephants came out rejuvenated and hit back almost immediately. Again it was a set piece that found them success, a long free kick from deep finding Robin Elephant Persie in the box who extended a tall trunk to prod the ball past the sprawling keeper. That’s how the scored stayed until 5 minutes before the end. The Elephants had continued their improvement and their direct play saw the gorillas pinned back in their own box. However, when a long Elephant ball was intercepted by Congo, who set Faustino Gorilla free, the counter attack ended in a goal as the Columbian squared for the Great Grape Ape to finish at the back post. Despite a frantic last 5 minutes, that’s how the game ended. The elephants collapsed in disappointment as the Gorillas took the crowd’s adulation. A rigid display as one of the top seeds moved forward to the semi finals. Result - Gorillas 2 - 1 Elephants 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted August 21, 2014 Share Posted August 21, 2014 But I DID make a note of the score.. Any video of this event Mr Stevo? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seat68 Posted August 21, 2014 Share Posted August 21, 2014 Come on you Grilla boys!!! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted August 21, 2014 Author VT Supporter Share Posted August 21, 2014 But I DID make a note of the score.. Any video of this event Mr Stevo? I did get some. But after that reaction to my report, I've permanently destroyed it. You're banned from all future SIFF World Cups 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted August 21, 2014 Share Posted August 21, 2014 Don't be sad that you've spent your afternoon writing a story for your imaginary football match! You could wrap this up, slap a price tag on it and sell for real cash! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginko Posted August 21, 2014 Share Posted August 21, 2014 I wouldn't listen to him when it comes to writing stories and selling them, Stevo. I'm still trying to get that story of his about the two cops on a stakeout out of my head. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Stevo985 Posted August 21, 2014 Author VT Supporter Popular Post Share Posted August 21, 2014 Match 12 - Humans vs Pandas The final Quarter final started off in sombre mood, with a minute’s silence held for the 23 dead Germans that has caused disarray in the team’s camp. It’s still not clear what happened at the team’s hotel last week, but the 23 deaths have meant that manager StefanAVFC, taking a much needed holiday from his holiday, had to select an entire new squad. The last minute nature appeared to have produced a number of quite frankly bizarre choices from the rookie manager, with the squad featuring a mix of sublime and awful footballers, celebrities and world leaders as well as a couple of complete nobodies, as well as a female who strongly resembled a vacuum cleaner. The pandas lined up as they had finished the last game, with fan favourites such as Edgar Pandavids and Pandavid Bentley leading the team. The game started in absolutely farcical circumstances. As the kick off took place, the youngest member of the Panda team flashed some puppy dog eyes at the human team, causing the uncapped Rachel Riley and Henry the Hoover to crowd around him, stroking him and declaring how cute he was. This distraction gave the pandas an early chance, Pandavid Trezeguet pouncing on the ball and almost forcing it past Gareth “Big Nev” Roberts in the human goal. The humans were soon back on track, with ban Ki Moon using his leadership powers to organise the defence and build from the back. Jordi Alba, one of the few competent players on the human team, played through Heskey on the half hour mark and a goal seemed inevitable. Heskey rounded the keeper, dribbled forward and shot with barely a foot between him and the goal line. Nobody is quite sure how it happened, but the shot crept wide. However, against the run of play, the pandas took the lead. Just before half time, a spider crept into the human penalty area, was spotted by Gareth in the human net who seemed to have some sort of mental breakdown. He’d just about recovered when a plane flew overhead which was experiencing turbulence. Gareth voided his bowels in the goalmouth and could only watch helplessly as Trezeguet rolled the ball into an unguarded net. The half time break allowed the humans to regroup and clean up their soiled goalkeeper. The second half was a different story. Stefan seemingly offered some words of wisdom at half time and the human team came out all guns blazing. They were level after less than 5 minutes. Stewart downing combining with Jack Woodward with a 1-2 which Downing finished hard into the bottom corner. The humans had the lead on the hour mark as Boris Johnson rose high to nod home a Go Compare man corner. The pandas threatened late on with a couple of long range efforts, easily gathered by the still shaking Roberts, but the highlight of the game came with 5 minutes left. A double footed challenge from Nathan Baker went unpunished, despite breaking both the Pand on the receiving end’s legs, giving him internal bleeding and rupturing his liver,and Woodward pounced on the loose ball. He passed right to Henry the Hoover who practically sucked it into her path and spread it out wide to Rachel Riley. A man resembling Quagmire with a Meath accent then ran onto the pitch only to be rugby tackled by Boris Johnson, allowing Riley to pump the ball forward to heskey. From here Heskey had a shot. The ball went high, hard and nowhere near the goal. Luckily, Ban Ki Moon had marauded forward from the back. He collected the ball, performed flick flack to round the defender and drilled the ball high into the top corner. The crowd went wild as the humans had sealed their progression into the semi finals. We caught up with Jack Woodward afterwards. When asked how he’d seen the game he said “This stadium was built in 1962 and the birds that circle nearby are native to Zimbabwe. All in all, I’ll be getting the bus home and Lunch today was chicken pie” Result - Humans 3 - 1 Pandas 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted August 21, 2014 Share Posted August 21, 2014 I wouldn't listen to him when it comes to writing stories and selling them, Stevo. I'm still trying to get that story of his about the two cops on a stakeout out of my head. There's plenty more where that came from, as Paddywhack and Rob182 will testify Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginko Posted August 21, 2014 Share Posted August 21, 2014 How on earth did you trick someone into marrying you? I genuinely can't tell whether you're a dumb mother****er or a genius sometimes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted August 21, 2014 Author VT Supporter Share Posted August 21, 2014 Bracket in OP updated. Polls added. Now it's getting serious. I'm still backing the kangaroos. I think, in all seriousness, if this were possible then they'd take it over the chimps. Too much power and speed. Humans vs Gorillas would be very interesting. I'd still back the human team I think but would be very close imo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ArteSuave Posted August 21, 2014 Share Posted August 21, 2014 Kangaroo Athleticism: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Ao9kGYYkD4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted August 21, 2014 Share Posted August 21, 2014 How on earth did you trick someone into marrying you? I genuinely can't tell whether you're a dumb mother****er or a genius sometimes I have split personality disorder, you offensive word removed. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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