Didn't Milner end up putting in a transfer request? You can't keep a player who doesn't want to stay.
I wasn't aware of that. If so then there's not much you can complain about. I hear about how Spurs put up a fight, yet they still lost players like Carrick, Berbatov, Keane, etc. If players want to leave as you say there's not much you can do.
Don't forget Modric. I agree completely, players hold majority of the power now and the contracts are barely worth the paper they're written on. Unless things change dramatically it's going to be very difficult for teams to compete with the likes of Man Utd, Man City and Chelsea.