Rugeley Villa Posted September 17, 2015 Share Posted September 17, 2015 Rugeley Villa didn't say that it was just his experience, but yours may differ, he suggested the entire idea was pointless, and a waste of money:been there and done that, load of bullshit imo as i just got the feeling they were only interested in my moneyI don't think that's helpful. I'm sure there are some counsellors who are worse than others, and vice versa, but I don't think it's responsible to tell somebody who is in a difficult situation that all they can expect is a 'load of bullshit' if they turn for professional help. Counselling has of course saved thousands of relationships, it may be exactly what Simon needs (or anyone else reading needs, for that matter). Yes, of course people should go in with their eyes open, but the option shouldn't be dismissed out of hand. i said imo which indicates its just my opinion which means nothing really, just adding my experience. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bunnski Posted September 17, 2015 Share Posted September 17, 2015 Counselling is great but the person has to be ready for it in order to get much from it along with finding the right counsellor. Plenty of sub standard counsellors out there but if you get a good one and are mentally in a position to take advantage of the help on offer it can change your life for the better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PieFacE Posted September 20, 2015 VT Supporter Share Posted September 20, 2015 Urgh dating sucks! Went on a second date with a girl last night but we didn't click like the first date so both agreed there's no spark there. I'm getting so sick of going on second dates only for either me or her to not want to continue it. It's exhausting and shit. It always seems like the girls that want to continue are the ones I don't like, and the ones I want to keep seeing are the ones that want to stop. Think I need to lower my standards a bit haha, but they can't get much lower. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted September 20, 2015 Share Posted September 20, 2015 Urgh dating sucks! Went on a second date with a girl last night but we didn't click like the first date so both agreed there's no spark there. I'm getting so sick of going on second dates only for either me or her to not want to continue it. It's exhausting and shit. It always seems like the girls that want to continue are the ones I don't like, and the ones I want to keep seeing are the ones that want to stop. Think I need to lower my standards a bit haha, but they can't get much lower. I need to get back in the dating scene but what you have described is what I fear. Done it all before and as you say, its tiring. I don't think I have the patience anymore 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PieFacE Posted September 20, 2015 VT Supporter Share Posted September 20, 2015 Urgh dating sucks! Went on a second date with a girl last night but we didn't click like the first date so both agreed there's no spark there. I'm getting so sick of going on second dates only for either me or her to not want to continue it. It's exhausting and shit. It always seems like the girls that want to continue are the ones I don't like, and the ones I want to keep seeing are the ones that want to stop. Think I need to lower my standards a bit haha, but they can't get much lower. I need to get back in the dating scene but what you have described is what I fear. Done it all before and as you say, its tiring. I don't think I have the patience anymore I guess it depends who you are. Are you quite a sociable person? I'm sure it comes quite easy to some people but naturally I don't click with people very well on a one on one basis. So obviously this makes dating quite difficult. But i'm just tried of it, I really just want to stop trying, but i'm also tired of not having any company during the week. The only time I tend to see people is when I'm out getting wankered. What do you do when you're tired of dating and tired of being alone? I'm fed up 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginko Posted September 20, 2015 Share Posted September 20, 2015 I'm in the same boat. The ones you like never want to carry it on and the ones you don't always seem to want to. I think it's oversimplifying it and a bit unfair to suggest that women want someone they're not sure they can have, but it does seem to be ringing true with me recently. I had a girl I had dated and really like tell me the other day when we were talking about where we are now (very close friends but with an attraction there) that she's thought about what it'd be like being with me and even though we have a great time, she just prefers a different dynamic. I take that to mean that I'm quite open about liking her and not wanting to play any games, but she prefers guys to be more mysterious and exciting. I casually mentioned that sort of thing fades anyway and it's all superficial crap in the first place, but she likes what she likes I guess. Massive shame, I think we'd be brilliant together. We're already very coupley in a lot of ways anyway. I don't understand women, clearly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wainy316 Posted September 20, 2015 Share Posted September 20, 2015 Be arrogant and over confident. That's what girls seem to love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted September 20, 2015 Share Posted September 20, 2015 Urgh dating sucks! Went on a second date with a girl last night but we didn't click like the first date so both agreed there's no spark there. I'm getting so sick of going on second dates only for either me or her to not want to continue it. It's exhausting and shit. It always seems like the girls that want to continue are the ones I don't like, and the ones I want to keep seeing are the ones that want to stop. Think I need to lower my standards a bit haha, but they can't get much lower. I need to get back in the dating scene but what you have described is what I fear. Done it all before and as you say, its tiring. I don't think I have the patience anymore I guess it depends who you are. Are you quite a sociable person? I'm sure it comes quite easy to some people but naturally I don't click with people very well on a one on one basis. So obviously this makes dating quite difficult. But i'm just tried of it, I really just want to stop trying, but i'm also tired of not having any company during the week. The only time I tend to see people is when I'm out getting wankered. What do you do when you're tired of dating and tired of being alone? I'm fed up maybe your trying too hard? i was 26 when i got with mine and it came unexpected, before that i spent most of my years single and what relationships i did have i did not really want and they never lasted long. i got to the point where i said im ready to settle down with someone and i always remember my best mate saying nah you will never settle down its just not you, anyway a few months later i was out on a thursday night making the most of the quid a pint night at one of my local haunts and i met my now missus who i always thought id have no chance with although id rattled her a few years before and the rest is history. maybe try and not get so drunk when you go out(rich coming from me) and you might have a better chance of finding someone decent and who you like instead of ending up with your beer goggles on and bedding some two bagger and regretting it in the morning, although i must admit it did not bother me how ugly the chick was i never regretted bedding anyone when i was single. you will get there pal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HanoiVillan Posted September 20, 2015 Share Posted September 20, 2015 Urgh dating sucks! Went on a second date with a girl last night but we didn't click like the first date so both agreed there's no spark there. I'm getting so sick of going on second dates only for either me or her to not want to continue it. It's exhausting and shit. It always seems like the girls that want to continue are the ones I don't like, and the ones I want to keep seeing are the ones that want to stop. Think I need to lower my standards a bit haha, but they can't get much lower. I need to get back in the dating scene but what you have described is what I fear. Done it all before and as you say, its tiring. I don't think I have the patience anymore I guess it depends who you are. Are you quite a sociable person? I'm sure it comes quite easy to some people but naturally I don't click with people very well on a one on one basis. So obviously this makes dating quite difficult. But i'm just tried of it, I really just want to stop trying, but i'm also tired of not having any company during the week. The only time I tend to see people is when I'm out getting wankered. What do you do when you're tired of dating and tired of being alone? I'm fed up Have you tried joining things and doing things? I have a friend who loves signing up for classes, especially at the leisure centre, but elsewhere as well. In the past few years, he's learned yoga, west coast swing, archery, street dance, and some form of martial arts that was invented by the Russian special forces. My first instinct was to laugh at him, obviously, but actually I think it's quite great - he meets people, does some exercise, tries different things, and if he likes them he carries on, if he doesn't he drops them. Think he's only still doing the street dance out of those, as well as footy etc. The thing is, he's quite shy and awkward with new people as well. Doing all this stuff helped him out of his shell a bit. You never know, you might meet someone doing something like that, and have a shared interest. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted September 20, 2015 Share Posted September 20, 2015 I'm in the same boat. The ones you like never want to carry it on and the ones you don't always seem to want to. I think it's oversimplifying it and a bit unfair to suggest that women want someone they're not sure they can have, but it does seem to be ringing true with me recently. I had a girl I had dated and really like tell me the other day when we were talking about where we are now (very close friends but with an attraction there) that she's thought about what it'd be like being with me and even though we have a great time, she just prefers a different dynamic. I take that to mean that I'm quite open about liking her and not wanting to play any games, but she prefers guys to be more mysterious and exciting. I casually mentioned that sort of thing fades anyway and it's all superficial crap in the first place, but she likes what she likes I guess. Massive shame, I think we'd be brilliant together. We're already very coupley in a lot of ways anyway. I don't understand women, clearly.you should take her up the woods at night and blindfold her tied to a tree, how much more mysterious and exciting can you get? maybe take an axe with you(but dont let her know) and then start chopping at trees around her. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted September 20, 2015 Share Posted September 20, 2015 the gym seems a good place to meet women. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted September 20, 2015 Share Posted September 20, 2015 Pieface - I wouldn't say I'm socialable. I'm fine once I get to know someone but shy when I first meet. In fact as I get older I seem to be getting shyer and more insecure! I thought as you get older you become more comfortable with yourself - clearly not in my case!I actually like living on my own during the week as I work long hours and I like having a bit of down time in the evenings to watch boxsets, listen to music, read, etc. However I do get lonely at weekends as unless I'm out with my friends, I don't really have anything to do. Most of my mates are settled down now so 'beers with the boys' sessions on saturdays are few and far between. Some weekends I can have no meaningful contact with anyone. This makes me yearn for someone to spend this time with, so I can get out and do stuff, if that makes sense? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlwaysAVFC Posted September 20, 2015 Share Posted September 20, 2015 I always find dating a nightmare. I go through spells of trying and likewise the girls I like aren't interested and I'm not interested in the ones that like me. I usually just get really pissed off for various reasons and sack it of for a while. Getting by with the odd one night stand and a few short lived things, it's been a while since I've been in a proper relationship. I met someone two months ago and for now things seem to be going very well. Still early days but from my experience, while its no good not doing anything about it, don't try too hard and something will come up. While things are going good at the moment, I'm fully expecting to update this thread having monumentally cocked up or she turns out to be a little crazy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted September 20, 2015 Share Posted September 20, 2015 I always find dating a nightmare. I go through spells of trying and likewise the girls I like aren't interested and I'm not interested in the ones that like me. I usually just get really pissed off for various reasons and sack it of for a while. Getting by with the odd one night stand and a few short lived things, it's been a while since I've been in a proper relationship. I met someone two months ago and for now things seem to be going very well. Still early days but from my experience, while its no good not doing anything about it, don't try too hard and something will come up. While things are going good at the moment, I'm fully expecting to update this thread having monumentally cocked up or she turns out to be a little crazy you wont find a true-er sentence than that last one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PongRiddims Posted September 20, 2015 Share Posted September 20, 2015 If you can find a girl that will let you finger her on the dance floor of Reflex, she's THE ONE. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted September 20, 2015 Share Posted September 20, 2015 If you can find a girl that will let you finger her on the dance floor of Reflex, she's THE ONE.A girl once showed me her minge in Snobs once. Classy lady. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PongRiddims Posted September 20, 2015 Share Posted September 20, 2015 If you can find a girl that will let you finger her on the dance floor of Reflex, she's THE ONE.A girl once showed me her minge in Snobs once. Classy lady. Should've put a ring on it son (make your own joke there) 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted September 20, 2015 Share Posted September 20, 2015 One thing i did find when I was active in the dating scene was the amount of women with issues/baggage. Be it with family, ex partners or other such stuff. Extremely off putting. I'm a simple character who leads a simple life, Can't be doing with stress in my personal life, let alone dealing with someone elses. That may sound harsh but any sign of stuff like that then i'm out! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PieFacE Posted September 20, 2015 VT Supporter Share Posted September 20, 2015 (edited) @Ginko - Yeah I swear girls do have that kind of mentallity where they don't actually want someone who wants them. I guess the phrase "play hard to get" came from somewhere, maybe part of it with dating is the thrill of the chase type thing. Personally I'd rather just meet someone and skip all the games, but it seems if you play the games it gets you further.@Rugeley - yeah you're probably right and I probably do try too hard, which may come across the wrong way during dates! I'm 27 now and definitely feel like it's time to settle down a bit. Might take your advice and not get completely off my head on a weekend and actually try talking to people without slurring haha. @HanoiVillan - I have often thought about joining some clubs like your mate does. Though I could never do anhything like Street Dancing!!! Problem is I don't actually have that many interests haha. Might do something like join a running club maybe. That sounds ideal and could be a way of meeting new people! @Xela - How old are you just out of curiosity? We seem to be in pretty similar situations really! And what you said makes perfect sense, I have weekends like that all the time. There's loads of shitty little things i'd like to do on the weekend which I couldn't do with a mate but would be ideal in a relationship but it's just getting to that point. I think the worst thing is for me is that I probably could make someone quite happy in the sense that we could go do loads of stuff. Without trying to sound big headed I earn half decent money, could go away all the time, very happy to try new things and very happy to do very casual things. It's just finding someone who's willing to get to know you well enough to be able to go do all those things. Drives me mad. Well I've been on a few dates with different women lately which haven't really come off so I've decided to close my dating account for a few months and try again later. It's doing my head in too much at the minute. Need to focus on something else for a bit. Edited September 20, 2015 by PieFacE 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
troon_villan Posted September 20, 2015 Share Posted September 20, 2015 Urgh dating sucks! Went on a second date with a girl last night but we didn't click like the first date so both agreed there's no spark there. I'm getting so sick of going on second dates only for either me or her to not want to continue it. It's exhausting and shit. It always seems like the girls that want to continue are the ones I don't like, and the ones I want to keep seeing are the ones that want to stop. Think I need to lower my standards a bit haha, but they can't get much lower. I need to get back in the dating scene but what you have described is what I fear. Done it all before and as you say, its tiring. I don't think I have the patience anymoreI guess it depends who you are. Are you quite a sociable person? I'm sure it comes quite easy to some people but naturally I don't click with people very well on a one on one basis. So obviously this makes dating quite difficult. But i'm just tried of it, I really just want to stop trying, but i'm also tired of not having any company during the week. The only time I tend to see people is when I'm out getting wankered. What do you do when you're tired of dating and tired of being alone? I'm fed up [emoji20]You've just described my own life in a nutshell Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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