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Irreverentad's Relationship Advice Thread


irreverentad

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My girlfriend's (I'm allowed to mention her in here, right?) supervisor at her work sounds like the most whipped guy I've ever heard of.

 

His wife doesn't work. yet she has total control over all of their finances. He gets pocket money every week that he's allowed to spend on whatever he likes. That was £10. It's now been cut to £5 because she wants to save for a new house.

To reiterate, she doesn't work. He brings in, at a guess, at least £40k a year. And he gets £5 a week to spend for himself.

 

He has to lie to his wife about my gf. he's told his wife that it's a bloke who works for him, not a girl, because she'd get angry.

 

They have a kid. She got pregnant when she deliberately came off the pill without consulting him.

 

He has secret takeaways. his wife doesn't let him eat them, so he goes out, buys one, and then eats it in the shed so that she can't smell it when she gets home.

 

He's not allowed to the pub. Every week he goes for the paper on a sunday and dashes to the pub and downs a pint because it's the only chance he gets.

 

They had a work meal the other week. He got a lift home from one of the women and she had to drop him down the road so that he could walk home and pretend he got a cab.

 

And finally, my gf passed him and his wife in her car the other day. Gave a beep and a wave. 

He gave her a bollocking on the Monday at work for nearly getting him in trouble. Because somebody he worked with waved at him.

 

I hate him. I've never met him. But I hate him.

Here's the latest.

 

His pocket money has been cut to nothing as she wants another baby. He has no spending money.

 

She went and got her nails done last week though and went for a spray tan because she's going on holiday next week with her mates. He's staying home to look after the kid.

 

They had a work night out on Friday. The company paid for the meal and drinks during the meal. But he couldn't afford to bring any money with him so was scared to order a beer during the meal in case they'd made a mistake and they ended up having to pay for the drinks themselves.

They were going for more drinks after, that they'd have to pay for themselves, so he couldn't go. The boss offered to buy him a beer if he went with them, but he snuck off when nobody was watching to get the bus back.

 

 

I kind of felt sorry for the chap at first but not anymore. He needs to man up! Anyone who allows themselves to be treated like that deserves no sympathy. 

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So, an update on my situation from February. Against all advice from VT, the boyfriend of 15 years (who I caught cheating on me) and I decided to give it 3 months to work on our relationship and see whether we wanted to stay together, get married and have kids, or to break up. We set a deadline of the last weekend in May to make a decision, as that was when the lease on our house needed renewing. 

 

We were getting on really well, made an effort to spend valuable time together, did lots of fun things. So when the end of May came, we had a chat about it and he agreed that he wanted to stay together (with all that entailed). It was good to finally be able draw a line under things and move on. We renewed the lease for another 6 months, and booked a holiday for the summer.

 

So it was a bit of a surprise when he wanted to talk on Friday night. He said that, despite what he had said at the end of May, he wasn't in a position to commit and he wanted to split up. Apparently he thinks I'm amazing etc etc but doesn't know why he can't give me what I need/ deserve. He is also still in love with this other woman (although she is staying with her husband).

 

I think I'm still slightly in shock about it all, especially as I thought we had moved on. But I know it will be for the best in the long term - the future's just looking a little scary at the moment. And now I'm stuck paying all the rent by myself, and with a holiday that I can't cancel. What a dick. And I feel a bit stupid for not taking all of your advice at the time. 

 

Sorry to hear that George. At least you gave it a proper go... most of us wouldn't have given them 3 months but there is no way you should feel stupid for not binning him earlier. If you had you may have had a nagging doubt at the back of your mind that it might have worked out. At least you now know for certain that it won't. You gave 15 years of your life to him and he treats you like that. Time to begin a new chapter in your life.

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Thanks all - I know it will work out OK, but it's just pretty crap at the moment.

 

George - you need to set his car on fire and cut his clothes up with scissors.

Also you will be ok without this turdsack because you're a hottie :D

 

Rob, that would be a good plan except it's my car (which he drives, I pay for and now I don't need as I work in London - brilliant).

 

Anyway, anyone know any good looking, financially stable, eligible bachelors who aren't complete knobheads? 

 

There's your first mistake: good-looking, financially stable, single men, who are not knobheads, have just too many options for a viable long-term relationship.

 

Find some guy who is the pleasant side of hideous, who who will bring a bit of gratitude into the relationship and give you all the power.

 

Okay, he won't impress your mates but low maintenance is always the way to go, in the long-term. :)

 

Wow, as if I wasn't depressed enough already  :unsure: . So what you're basically saying is that there's no chance of me having a relationship with anyone vaguely eligible, and I should just cut my losses? Excellent.

 

 

I didn't mean to depress you - I just thought your priority of 'good-looking' was not the wisest choice.

 

Besides, as a life-time member of that sad majority, who just about fall the right side of hideous, I felt it necessary to mention that despite our tendency to ruin everyone's holiday photos, we do have our virtues - not because we are better people, you understand, but only that when you look like us, the opportunities for sin are few.  :)

Edited by MakemineVanilla
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Thanks all - I know it will work out OK, but it's just pretty crap at the moment.

 

George - you need to set his car on fire and cut his clothes up with scissors.

Also you will be ok without this turdsack because you're a hottie :D

 

Rob, that would be a good plan except it's my car (which he drives, I pay for and now I don't need as I work in London - brilliant).

 

Anyway, anyone know any good looking, financially stable, eligible bachelors who aren't complete knobheads? 

 

There's your first mistake: good-looking, financially stable, single men, who are not knobheads, have just too many options for a viable long-term relationship.

 

Find some guy who is the pleasant side of hideous, who who will bring a bit of gratitude into the relationship and give you all the power.

 

Okay, he won't impress your mates but low maintenance is always the way to go, in the long-term. :)

 

Wow, as if I wasn't depressed enough already  :unsure: . So what you're basically saying is that there's no chance of me having a relationship with anyone vaguely eligible, and I should just cut my losses? Excellent.

 

 

I didn't mean to depress you - I just thought your priority of 'good-looking' was not the wisest choice.

 

 

Said the bloke who is **** ugly. :D

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The gf and I had our first falling out last week.

 

All because a couple of people at work made fun of her because she didn't know what I was doing on Thursday night  :huh:

 

Women, eh?

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The gf and I had our first falling out last week.

 

All because a couple of people at work made fun of her because she didn't know what I was doing on Thursday night  :huh:

 

Women, eh?

 

 

Bloody women. Just tell her you were looking a bunch of cocks on the internet whilst getting desperate men to photograph themselves with Scuba Steve messages. That usually works .

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Few months.

It's cool now. Wasn't a big thing.

Just annoyed me as I genuinely hadn't done anything wrong.

 

It was just a couple of her work colleagues putting stuff in her head.

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