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Irreverentad's Relationship Advice Thread


irreverentad

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Thank God for this thread.

Me and my girlfriend have been together now for 7 months but due to work and distances I only get to see her the weekend (when Villa aren't playing) and once a weeknight (usually). I had to come back this morning incase the snow meant I couldn't get back by tomorrow night so I didn't want to risk anything. The distances aren't crazy, she lives in Birmingham and I live in Kiddy but working shifts means I can't see her much in the week.

We do miss each other alot and I know it gets her down more than it does me. I feel for those who have much longer relationships like country's apart but it sucks when I have to leave her for another week. I'm not sure what we can do apart from wait. Would buying a flat or something be a bit too much at this stage?

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Was thinking about renting but that's alot of money for me to lose. Might be better off waiting and saving up some more.

Renting is a great way to start out. I think i'd always rent to be honest unless I was completely settled. You can always just get up and go. Situations do change and untill you are fully settled then i'd definitely recommend renting.

I was so close to getting a mortgage on a flat 3 years ago, bottled it at the last minute and i'm so glad I did now. Things do change so fast, and having a mortgage would have really slowed me down. If you only see your girlfriend a few times a week you could quite easily grow to hate eachother once you live together for a period of time. On the other hand, if it goes really well then you can then go look for a place to buy soon after if you want it.

I think renting is the best compromise for a new couple living together.

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nah not smashing her everything is pretty wierd at the moment, I was kind of full of it last night (too much to drink) but I am going to try and keep it all above board if I can

Well that idea went straight out the window last night lol

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nah not smashing her everything is pretty wierd at the moment, I was kind of full of it last night (too much to drink) but I am going to try and keep it all above board if I can

Well that idea went straight out the window last night lol

I'd be lying if I said I was surprised. :d'oh:

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Not much to say really we went out for dinner she came back to mine we had a few drinks and went to bed, went fine nothing untowards happened...until we woke up, **** knows how it came about. Anyway I have told her thats it now until she sorts her shit out nothing like that is happening again, to many complications (on both sides) and until everything can be straight forward I am staying away

I recon that's the best thing to do anyhows And she understood so it's all good, apart from the fact I am going to end up with balls like watermelons now lol

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Not much to say really we went out for dinner she came back to mine we had a few drinks and went to bed, went fine nothing untowards happened...until we woke up, **** knows how it came about. Anyway I have told her thats it now until she sorts her shit out nothing like that is happening again, to many complications (on both sides) and until everything can be straight forward I am staying away

I recon that's the best thing to do anyhows And she understood so it's all good, apart from the fact I am going to end up with balls like watermelons now lol

Hopefully you'll discover two useful things:

1) Whether she thinks you're worth ending her marriage for;

2) Natural self-help techniques which will relieve any build of spherical pressure.

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Probably gonna get slated for this and be told im not 'living in the real world' or whatever but I dont care.....

Now, i dont mean this to sound harsh but i find it hard to have any respect for anyone who gets involved with someone who is married or in a relationship. That goes for the other party as well. Whether the husband is a dick or not. Your probably a nice bloke and everything but Id just hate to know what it feels like to be that bloke when he inevitably finds out no matter how much of a word removed he is.

Also, say she ends her marraige to be with you, whats stopping her from doing the same to you when the next bit of meat comes along?

I dont mean it to sound so harsh and im not naive enough to fail to realise these things happen to thousands of people everyday, and situations happen etc....and you can say the world isnt nice, its just a bit of excitement, if it wasnt me it would be some other fella etc... and i may have this old fashioned view on relationships and loyalty or whatever but i still just find it a bit sad.

Oh well.

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Also, the above I guess is more of a statement on how I feel about those types of situations rather than you directly, your particular predicament was just the catalyst. Like I said, your probably a nice bloke and im just sounding off.

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Probably gonna get slated for this and be told im not 'living in the real world' or whatever but I dont care.....

Now, i dont mean this to sound harsh but i find it hard to have any respect for anyone who gets involved with someone who is married or in a relationship. That goes for the other party as well. Whether the husband is a dick or not. Your probably a nice bloke and everything but Id just hate to know what it feels like to be that bloke when he inevitably finds out no matter how much of a word removed he is.

Also, say she ends her marraige to be with you, whats stopping her from doing the same to you when the next bit of meat comes along?

I dont mean it to sound so harsh and im not naive enough to fail to realise these things happen to thousands of people everyday, and situations happen etc....and you can say the world isnt nice, its just a bit of excitement, if it wasnt me it would be some other fella etc... and i may have this old fashioned view on relationships and loyalty or whatever but i still just find it a bit sad.

Oh well.

As someone who has been on the receiving end (with a girlfriend), I can say that as shit as it was, it taught me a lot.

Nobody owns anyone. They can and should do what they want. As far as I'm concerned there's no psychological difference between being with someone who wishes she could have someone else, and being with someone who does have someone else.

Being on the receiving end was actually a real win. It freed me from the illusion that I needed to be with this girl and forgo all other fun, and it gave me the benefit of an ex I could still shag when the mood took me - a perfect situation for a young man, he he.

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