bobzy Posted October 2, 2023 Share Posted October 2, 2023 If the missus asks if I "want to go to bed" *winky wink face* these days, I'm genuinely split on excitement for either sex or having an early night. It's the life lottery I'm in for at this age. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rodders Posted October 2, 2023 Share Posted October 2, 2023 We're a bit crap and getting round to it, we went through a phase of doing it plenty whilst trying for babies, but as that hasn't panned out and we're having to wait on appointments for possible IVF, we both appreciated the break, but generally, 3 times a week would be a good week, but sometimes we go a month or so without sex and it's usually because we're both busy or distracted, but on the other hand we're intimate in the cuddly ways, back scratching, and hugs on the sofa, as she peacefully sleeps to whatever TV show we are endeavouring to watch. Honestly, I couldn't be doing with sex 4 or 5 times a week, that's a faff, there's too many other things I want to do with my time. And I do enjoy sex it's just not centre stage for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted October 2, 2023 Share Posted October 2, 2023 1 hour ago, Talldarkandransome said: I bet @Rugeley Villa is cracking one off to this thread as we speak I did wonder if people thought I was being weird that way. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted October 2, 2023 Share Posted October 2, 2023 1 hour ago, Seat68 said: I think its more a thing I live with, and have lived with for a long long time. Obviously years ago it caused a lot of problems, we argued, we split up for a few months and it was contributing factor. I resolved though that I wanted to be with her in this marriage than without her. I wouldn't dream on cheating on her, and now as time has gone on, its no longer even discussed. I have gotten used to the fact that this is what it is. I know there are other people who are probably the same, but what you going to do, go to a meeting to discuss it? This forum seems as good a place as any! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted October 2, 2023 Share Posted October 2, 2023 1 hour ago, Rds1983 said: With my wife, not as much as I'd like, probably a couple of times a week on average. It was a lot more but then we did 3 unsuccessful rounds of IVF (at about £9k a round). That really messed her body up and even 2 years later she hasn't fully recovered and for a while after that it was probably once a month. Hide contents With your wife though, probably 4 or 5 times a week. I wanted to put a laughing face for the spoiler, but thought it would look a bit inappropriate for the main post. Well at least someone is keeping my missus happy 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted October 2, 2023 Share Posted October 2, 2023 Just now, Rugeley Villa said: I wanted to put a laughing face for the spoiler, but thought it would look a bit inappropriate for the main post. Well at least someone is keeping my missus happy 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rds1983 Posted October 2, 2023 VT Supporter Share Posted October 2, 2023 18 minutes ago, Rugeley Villa said: I wanted to put a laughing face for the spoiler, but thought it would look a bit inappropriate for the main post. Well at least someone is keeping my missus happy Cheers bud. It is what it is with the IVF stuff. Lack of her sex drive fot a while is nothing compared to how badly it messed her up (both physically and mentally). Even now I sometimes get frustrated by it all and feel guilty that it didn't work, that somehow it's my fault (it isn't Anyone's fault as all tests came back fine - just one of those things) and that our son is missing out having a sibling and will never have nieces or nephews. Just have to focus on the positive and that we have him and my wife is slowly getting back to her old self. Amazed nobody else made the bad joke hidden in the spoiler. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KentVillan Posted October 2, 2023 Share Posted October 2, 2023 Problem I have is her sex drive changes enormously through her menstrual cycle and it took me a while to realise I wasn’t doing something wrong when she suddenly lost interest, as it’s the same pattern every month and I just know when to expect it. Get one week of pretty much 2 or 3 times a day, and then it’s the odd sympathy shag to keep me motivated. Think affection and being nice to each other and looking after chores and things keeps it going. The other thing I struggle with a bit is the difference between f**king and making love, as sometimes she wants one and sometimes the other, whereas me being a simple man with simple needs I’m happy with whatever’s on offer, I just need a gentle steer in the right direction. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Genie Posted October 2, 2023 Popular Post Share Posted October 2, 2023 1 minute ago, KentVillan said: Get one week of pretty much 2 or 3 times a day, Wait, what? 2 or 3 times A DAY? 3 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genie Posted October 2, 2023 Share Posted October 2, 2023 1 hour ago, Rds1983 said: Cheers bud. It is what it is with the IVF stuff. Lack of her sex drive fot a while is nothing compared to how badly it messed her up (both physically and mentally). Even now I sometimes get frustrated by it all and feel guilty that it didn't work, that somehow it's my fault (it isn't Anyone's fault as all tests came back fine - just one of those things) and that our son is missing out having a sibling and will never have nieces or nephews. Just have to focus on the positive and that we have him and my wife is slowly getting back to her old self. Amazed nobody else made the bad joke hidden in the spoiler. IVF sounds pretty brutal, physically, mentally and financially! With our first we were trying everything to catch but it wasn’t happening. Went to the doctor, had tests and nothing out of the ordinary came back. Luckily one of the first treatments (an injection for the wife to stimulate more than 1 egg per cycle) did the trick. Pregnant after 2 years of trying. Then when he was about 1 year old we decided to start trying for child number 2 as we knew it might take a while, or not at all. First month off the pill and she’s pregnant. Not gonna lie, I was looking forward to at least 2 or 3 months of round the clock shagging. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rodders Posted October 2, 2023 Share Posted October 2, 2023 (edited) 4 minutes ago, Genie said: Wait, what? 2 or 3 times A DAY? haha, yeah, I mean twice a day just doesn't interest me at all, unless, well the first time round was a short-changed experience and then I'll obviously look to rectify matters forthwith ( well, an hour or two later anyway ) Idea of 3 times a day just, the thought of it makes my willy wince in pain. Would genuinely fear it would drop off. Edited October 2, 2023 by Rodders Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genie Posted October 2, 2023 Share Posted October 2, 2023 1 minute ago, Rodders said: haha, yeah, I mean twice a day just doesn't interest me at all, unless, well the first time round was a short-changed experience and then I'll obviously look to rectify matters forthwith ( well, an hour or two later anyway ) Idea of 3 times a day just, the thought of it makes my willy wince in pain. Would genuinely fear it would drop off. I think back to my younger days when I’d pretty much go twice with only a 5 minute drinks break in between 5 weeks nowadays 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KentVillan Posted October 2, 2023 Share Posted October 2, 2023 7 minutes ago, Genie said: Wait, what? 2 or 3 times A DAY? If work hasn’t **** us too hard, yeah, but we don’t have kids… I’ve no doubt this won’t last forever Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wainy316 Posted October 2, 2023 Share Posted October 2, 2023 (edited) 2 minutes ago, KentVillan said: If work hasn’t **** us too hard, yeah, but we don’t have kids… I’ve no doubt this won’t last forever My willy hurts at the mere thought of it! EDIT: Yeah what Rodders said Edited October 2, 2023 by Wainy316 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KentVillan Posted October 2, 2023 Share Posted October 2, 2023 I think I’m quite a hyperactive anxious person and I find it relaxing … I actually destroyed my sex drive when I was doing a lot of drugs, and then when I sorted my health out it came back. I’m also lucky that our work means we both generally have time in the day to do it and still do all the other boring things we need to do. But she only really plays ball for one week or so a month like I said. Then I’m a ball of nervous energy and have to do loads of exercise etc to distract myself. Realising now I’m a headcase now I write it all out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Talldarkandransome Posted October 2, 2023 Share Posted October 2, 2023 3 hours ago, Seat68 said: I think its more a thing I live with, and have lived with for a long long time. Obviously years ago it caused a lot of problems, we argued, we split up for a few months and it was contributing factor. I resolved though that I wanted to be with her in this marriage than without her. I wouldn't dream on cheating on her, and now as time has gone on, its no longer even discussed. I have gotten used to the fact that this is what it is. I know there are other people who are probably the same, but what you going to do, go to a meeting to discuss it? You're a better man than a lot of people, I'd include me in that too 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Talldarkandransome Posted October 2, 2023 Share Posted October 2, 2023 36 minutes ago, KentVillan said: Problem I have is her sex drive changes enormously through her menstrual cycle and it took me a while to realise I wasn’t doing something wrong when she suddenly lost interest, as it’s the same pattern every month and I just know when to expect it. Get one week of pretty much 2 or 3 times a day, and then it’s the odd sympathy shag to keep me motivated. Think affection and being nice to each other and looking after chores and things keeps it going. The other thing I struggle with a bit is the difference between f**king and making love, as sometimes she wants one and sometimes the other, whereas me being a simple man with simple needs I’m happy with whatever’s on offer, I just need a gentle steer in the right direction. 2-3 a day, Jesus man Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Talldarkandransome Posted October 2, 2023 Share Posted October 2, 2023 27 minutes ago, KentVillan said: If work hasn’t **** us too hard, yeah, but we don’t have kids… I’ve no doubt this won’t last forever Don't have kids and die lonely but happy 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted October 2, 2023 Share Posted October 2, 2023 Back in my younger days several times a day was fine. The following day after a night out would be constant roll on roll off, but it’s very rare I could do it twice a day now and I don’t even think I’d want to . I do feel guilty sometimes because I know my missus would want it more . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VILLAMARV Posted October 2, 2023 Share Posted October 2, 2023 We've pretty much decided (I know people can change their minds and that's also ok) against doing IVF if we don't get preggers before a certain cut off. Not sure either of us could handle the prospect of paying to prolong the agony of hope. We've done tests. There's no particular problem biologically. We went through a miscarriage a few years ago. So we're well aware of the pitfalls. Neither of us is getting any younger. Adoption does get discussed. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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