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Fact or fiction: Ex Pros on the after dinner circuit


KentVillan

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What are the most obviously made up bollocks stories that have been told by an ex pro on the after dinner / podcast circuit?

I’m thinking there’ll be a few entries from Harry Redknapp and Ray Parlour, but Dean Saunders and Lee Sharpe also good for a completely made up hilarious anecdote.

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24 minutes ago, KentVillan said:

What are the most obviously made up bollocks stories that have been told by an ex pro on the after dinner / podcast circuit?

I’m thinking there’ll be a few entries from Harry Redknapp and Ray Parlour, but Dean Saunders and Lee Sharpe also good for a completely made up hilarious anecdote.

Not from a player, but the Doug Ellis bicycle kick story is my favourite. 

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2 hours ago, KentVillan said:

What are the most obviously made up bollocks stories that have been told by an ex pro on the after dinner / podcast circuit?

I’m thinking there’ll be a few entries from Harry Redknapp and Ray Parlour, but Dean Saunders and Lee Sharpe also good for a completely made up hilarious anecdote.

No idea how true it all was but saw a great video of Stuart Pearce talking about Gazza.

Possibly made up, possibly exaggerated, possibly completely true seeing as though it was Gazza.

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I remember hearing the Dean/Clough story first-hand, years before the Sportstalk debacle and thinking it was the funniest thing ever. I knew it'd have been written for him but presumed it was mostly true. I think it got further embellished over the intervening years though. A sorry state of affairs.

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Most stories are embellished to fit a narrative so I don't see why footballers are any different.

As you get older you think back to those lads nights out or holidays and the legendry escapades.   At the time is was par for the course but you had a bit on here and there as time goes by.

With Footballers stories i reckon most are based on a form of truth.  But they probably have a few beers and get other players stories and piece bits together.

That's my take on it unless you are Doug and you just make up a load of bullshit 😜 

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I like the one about Ally McCoist waking up to find Gazza in his fridge making a sandwich at 3am.

When quizzed, Gazza said he had run out of food, and remembered overhearing McCoist's wife mentioning the spare key in a bag under the tree, so he thought he would nip down and make himself something to eat.

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@KentVillan Now this is a thread I could really get my teeth into. I work with ex pros all the time and know a hell of a lot of them.

Sharpey is a good mate of mine so I'd be interested to know which stories he has told that you don't believe. (Not saying that he hasn't made any up btw!)

I've got some cracking stories from ex players and wondering if this may be the thread to tell them.... 🤔 

What do you reckon @JAMAICAN-VILLAN?

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14 minutes ago, GlobalVillan said:

@KentVillan Now this is a thread I could really get my teeth into. I work with ex pros all the time and know a hell of a lot of them.

Sharpey is a good mate of mine so I'd be interested to know which stories he has told that you don't believe. (Not saying that he hasn't made any up btw!)

I've got some cracking stories from ex players and wondering if this may be the thread to tell them.... 🤔 

What do you reckon @JAMAICAN-VILLAN?

Lol... Knowing you... I'm not sure if all these " stories " are eligible for public consumption 🤣

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12 minutes ago, JAMAICAN-VILLAN said:

Lol... Knowing you... I'm not sure if all these " stories " are eligible for public consumption 🤣

Anonymously of course! As in (a player at club X...)

You've already heard a few of the best ones over a few drinks in Qatar!.. Hehe

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1 hour ago, GlobalVillan said:

Anonymously of course! As in (a player at club X...)

You've already heard a few of the best ones over a few drinks in Qatar!.. Hehe

Let’s have the West London Blues, L. Fampard versions of a few please

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22 minutes ago, KentVillan said:

Let’s have the West London Blues, L. Fampard versions of a few please

The one club that I've never heard anything interesting about. Lol

Which is odd, because every living person is probably related to a Chelsea player without even going back through ancestry. They've signed that many players.

Manchester reds however....

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Been to one with merson at VP

Said he knew he had a gambling problem with he was working on soccer Saturday, wasn't concentrating on his own game he was too busy watching the screen next to him cos he had £250k on a team to win, every time Jeff came to him he was blagging an answer rather than doing his job, said team were 3-0 down at half time...

Also while I'm taking merson I heard another story about him from a lad I played football with, ex villa youth, used to clean mersons boots, mersons at home having a blazing row with his at the time pregnant missus, she's at the bottom of the stair he's at the top, went in the bedroom ripped the TV off the wall and launched it at her... Didn't hit her as she got out the way

Edited by villa4europe
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My favourite was Chris Waddle who played semi pro for a few years after he retired. Anyway he came across a young full back and gave him a torrid time. After 80 mins the opposition boss subbed the kid and gave him a right bollocking. So Waddle went over to the two of them and said don't worry lad I did that to Maldini 2 years ago

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4 hours ago, GarethRDR said:

Any/all of Mark Crossley's Clough anecdotes crack me up, their veracity be damned.

 

If I remember rightly Pearce told a similar story on the Quickly Kevin podcast. I was not ready for how good those impressions were going to be.

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