rjw63 Posted June 19, 2011 Share Posted June 19, 2011 "Knock knock" "Who's there?" "It's me Mummy... It's Maddie!" "But... But it can't be... We buried you..." "Yeah, I'm just **** about. It's Gerry, I forgot my key." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villadude Posted June 19, 2011 Author Share Posted June 19, 2011 I've just seen an old lady drop a £20 note in the street. As she struggled to bend over and pick it up I shouted, "I'll get it". I ran over, picked it up and said, "See, I knew I'd get it, better luck next time you old bastard". Hahahaha **** ace! I'll stick that on facebook later! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted June 19, 2011 Share Posted June 19, 2011 I'm stopping at my mates house in small heath for the weekend and he's just opened his fathers day card. It read "to uncle Tim, you are the worlds best father, I love you granpa, love from your brother Ted." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amsterdam_Neil_D Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 I'm stopping at my mates house in small heath for the weekend and he's just opened his fathers day card. It read "to uncle Tim, you are the worlds best father, I love you granpa, love from your brother Ted." That's general chat surely ? Wrong thread, no joke here. Just hard facts. Edit, sorry. Just seen the 'house' bit. It is a joke after all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nigel Posted June 20, 2011 VT Supporter Share Posted June 20, 2011 "Knock knock" "Who's there?" "It's me Mummy... It's Maddie!" "But... But it can't be... We buried you..." "Yeah, I'm just **** about. It's Gerry, I forgot my key." brilliant! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villahero Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 What's white, soggy and covered in scribble ? Dwight Yorke's father's day card Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LancsVillan Posted June 23, 2011 Moderator Share Posted June 23, 2011 Paddy says, "Mick, I'm thinking of buying a labrador." "F*ck that" says Mick, "have you seen how many of their owners go blind?!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theunderstudy Posted June 23, 2011 Share Posted June 23, 2011 I was wandering round my kitchen yesterday, and to my horror, I saw my wife was slumped motionless on the grass in the garden next to the patio. The **** dog had only gone and dug her up again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GarethRDR Posted June 23, 2011 Share Posted June 23, 2011 Why is potassium a racist element? Put three of them together, you get KKK. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nigel Posted June 24, 2011 VT Supporter Share Posted June 24, 2011 Why is potassium a racist element? Put three of them together, you get KKK. Oh Gareth, thats got the potential to be up there with the worst jokes ive ever heard :notworthy: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GarethRDR Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 Ah-thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 I hate you Gareth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GarethRDR Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 You're only saying that 'cause you laughed at the terrible joke and can't forgive yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AVFC_Hitz Posted June 26, 2011 Share Posted June 26, 2011 If I had a crystal ball.... ...I'd sit down very carefully. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ingram85 Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 So I went to this airport, i tripped over some luggage and i went flying I sold my ships anchor today, the bloke gave me £50 and said keep the chains I used to live with a rugby ball but i kicked her out, i said stay in touch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NibblyPig Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 A man is defined not only by his actions, but also as the capital city of Jordan. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leemond2008 Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 I bought a greyhound the other day my mate asked ''what are you going to do with that'' I said ''i'm going to race it'' he replied ''by the looks of it you'll win'' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted June 27, 2011 VT Supporter Share Posted June 27, 2011 Why is potassium a racist element? Put three of them together, you get KKK. Oh Gareth, thats got the potential to be up there with the worst jokes ive ever heard :notworthy: So I went to this airport, i tripped over some luggage and i went flying I sold my ships anchor today, the bloke gave me £50 and said keep the chains I used to live with a rugby ball but i kicked her out, i said stay in touch. Trumped Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nigel Posted June 27, 2011 VT Supporter Share Posted June 27, 2011 This whole page should be done under trade descriptions! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted June 27, 2011 Moderator Share Posted June 27, 2011 See some old boy died on his arse at Glastonbury. Paul Simon, I think his name was. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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