mjmooney Posted April 19, 2011 VT Supporter Share Posted April 19, 2011 On a beautiful summer's day, two English tourists were driving through Wales ....... At the town of Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwyllllantysiliogogoch they stopped for lunch, and one of the tourists asked the very blonde waitress, "Before we order, I wonder if you could settle an argument for us. Can you pronounce where we are, very, very, very slowly?" The girl leaned over and said, "Burrr.... Gurrr.... King." Page 14 MJ :winkold:297 pages, and you either you knew that was on page 14, or you went looking for it. I don't know which is the more amazing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AVFC-Prideofbrum Posted April 19, 2011 Share Posted April 19, 2011 On a beautiful summer's day, two English tourists were driving through Wales ....... At the town of Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwyllllantysiliogogoch they stopped for lunch, and one of the tourists asked the very blonde waitress, "Before we order, I wonder if you could settle an argument for us. Can you pronounce where we are, very, very, very slowly?" The girl leaned over and said, "Burrr.... Gurrr.... King." Page 14 MJ :winkold: 297 pages, and you either you knew that was on page 14, or you went looking for it. I don't know which is the sadder! fixed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyh29 Posted April 19, 2011 Share Posted April 19, 2011 On a beautiful summer's day, two English tourists were driving through Wales ....... At the town of Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwyllllantysiliogogoch they stopped for lunch, and one of the tourists asked the very blonde waitress, "Before we order, I wonder if you could settle an argument for us. Can you pronounce where we are, very, very, very slowly?" The girl leaned over and said, "Burrr.... Gurrr.... King." Page 14 MJ :winkold:297 pages, and you either you knew that was on page 14, or you went looking for it. I don't know which is the more amazing! alas neither , slow day today so went back through the thread and read some of the older jokes and happened to see it my memory aint bad but it doesn't extend to remembering every joke in this thread Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LancsVillan Posted April 19, 2011 Moderator Share Posted April 19, 2011 7 Englishmen and 1 Irishman in a rape line up. The victim walks in, Paddy steps forward and shouts "Thats her, the ungrateful fat **** bitch!'' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nigel Posted April 20, 2011 VT Supporter Share Posted April 20, 2011 7 Englishmen and 1 Irishman in a rape line up. The victim walks in, Paddy steps forward and shouts "Thats her, the ungrateful fat **** bitch!'' A fantastic oldie there; But whose version did you use, 'Chubby' Browns? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drat01 Posted April 21, 2011 Share Posted April 21, 2011 I don't talk to my dad any more. He's a bus driver Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NibblyPig Posted April 21, 2011 Share Posted April 21, 2011 I took an amazing photograph of Jupiter yesterday evening... I stole it from the planetarium. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted April 21, 2011 Share Posted April 21, 2011 What do you call a Pakistani submarine commander? Gandeep Undawatta. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ryanvilla_1994 Posted April 21, 2011 Share Posted April 21, 2011 ^^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrummieVillan Posted April 21, 2011 Share Posted April 21, 2011 What's black and blue and gets raped at home? Inter Milan. As old as this is...it could be a beaten housewife... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theunderstudy Posted April 21, 2011 Share Posted April 21, 2011 It was apposite, as inter had just been viciously penetrated at home by Schalke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LancsVillan Posted April 23, 2011 Moderator Share Posted April 23, 2011 Man phones the doctor and says I think my wife is dead, the doctor asks why do you think she is dead, he replied, well the sex is same but the ironing is building up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LancsVillan Posted April 23, 2011 Moderator Share Posted April 23, 2011 Dear Deidre,My new girlfriend is 10 years younger than me, is that too much of an age gap ? Deidre Writes:No don't be silly, age is nothing but a number. Dear Deidre,Thank you for your response, you have made me feel much better about my relationship. Gary, 22, from Small Heath Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leemond2008 Posted April 27, 2011 Share Posted April 27, 2011 A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other of the after life. The woman's biggest fear was that there was no heaven. After a long life, the husband was the first to go, and true to his word, he made contact. "Mary... Mary..." Awestruck, Mary responds, "Is that you Fred?" "Yes, I have come back like we agreed." "Well, what is it like?" Fred excitedly tells his tale, "Well, when I get up in the morning I have sex, then I have breakfast, then I have sex again, then I bathe in the sun, then I have sex twice more, then I have lunch, then I have sex all afternoon and into the early evening, until bedtime. And, then, I start all over again the next day." So happy Mary says, "Oh Fred, you surely must be in heaven." Fred replies, "Hell no, Mary, I'm a rabbit in Kansas." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted April 28, 2011 Share Posted April 28, 2011 The Grim Reaper came for me last night, and I beat him off with a vacuum cleaner. **** me, talk about Dyson with death Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theunderstudy Posted April 28, 2011 Share Posted April 28, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonno_2004 Posted April 28, 2011 Share Posted April 28, 2011 Imogen Thomas has taken a right bashing in the papers recently, hasn't she? She definitely wont be getting any more gigs in the future, that's for sure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
juanpabloangel18 Posted April 28, 2011 Share Posted April 28, 2011 Dear Deidre,My new girlfriend is 10 years younger than me, is that too much of an age gap ? Deidre Writes:No don't be silly, age is nothing but a number. Dear Deidre,Thank you for your response, you have made me feel much better about my relationship. Gary, 22, from Small Heath Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ryan. Posted May 2, 2011 Share Posted May 2, 2011 Elton John is to write a tribute song following Bin Laden's death. Sandals in the Bin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amsterdam_Neil_D Posted May 2, 2011 Share Posted May 2, 2011 Dear Deidre,My new girlfriend is 10 years younger than me, is that too much of an age gap ? Deidre Writes:No don't be silly, age is nothing but a number. Dear Deidre,Thank you for your response, you have made me feel much better about my relationship, my sister and I are happy now. Gary, 22, from Small Heath Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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