kevangrealish Posted March 19, 2014 Share Posted March 19, 2014 (edited) Hahaha priceless. Your a good story teller. Edited March 19, 2014 by kevangrealish Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8pints Posted March 19, 2014 Share Posted March 19, 2014 (edited) So, the cheating boyfriend has decided that he's made a mistake and wants to try to make it work. Probably stupidly, I agreed to this (rather than throw away a 15 year relationship) but he's now just slipped back in to the same behaviour as before. We're spending loads more time together and it's pretty fun, but he's still not in a place to commit. He says he needsmore time. I should walk away, shouldn't I? You have to do what makes you happy, it sounds like staying with him wouldn't make you completely happy and unfortunately, if he says he can't commit, it wouldn't make him completely happy either. It's not often I write this, but listen to Craig David. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bxKXkVMvf0Q Edited March 19, 2014 by 8pints Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarewsEyebrowDesigner Posted March 19, 2014 Share Posted March 19, 2014 (edited) No, do not listen to Craig David. Never listen to Craig David. Unless you are conducting an experiment to see how long mice can listen to Craig David before their head explodes or they run repeatedly against a wall to cause irrecoverable brain damage. Even then, I would recommend headphones. Edited March 20, 2014 by CarewsEyebrowDesigner 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8pints Posted March 19, 2014 Share Posted March 19, 2014 (edited) No, do not listen to Craig David. Never listen to Craig David. Unless you are conducting an experiment to see how long mice an listen to Craig David before their head explodes or they run repeatedly against a wall to cause irrecoverable brain damage. Even then, I would recommend headphones. Headphones like these? Definitely listen to Craig David, George. Edited March 19, 2014 by 8pints Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarewsEyebrowDesigner Posted March 19, 2014 Share Posted March 19, 2014 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8pints Posted March 19, 2014 Share Posted March 19, 2014 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted March 19, 2014 Share Posted March 19, 2014 So, the cheating boyfriend has decided that he's made a mistake and wants to try to make it work. Probably stupidly, I agreed to this (rather than throw away a 15 year relationship) but he's now just slipped back in to the same behaviour as before. We're spending loads more time together and it's pretty fun, but he's still not in a place to commit. He says he needsmore time. I should walk away, shouldn't I? 15 years together and he won't commit. Plus he's already cheated on you and thinks he's got away with it. It wasn't a one night stand, it was a full blown affair (from memory) that lasted a while and involved high levels of deceit, subterfuge and outright lying to you. He's currently having his cake and eating it, to quote the phrase. I get why you're reluctant to dump him as starting again in your early 30's, is a big thing to do. But its easier to do it now than 10 years down the line when he cheats on you again. Or perhaps you're prepared to be a doormat the rest of your life? Choice is yours George. I hope you don't offence at my tone, I don't mean to be harsh, I just think you deserve better than wasting your time on a cheat. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tegis Posted March 19, 2014 VT Supporter Share Posted March 19, 2014 As stated earlier. Get rid! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wainy316 Posted March 19, 2014 Share Posted March 19, 2014 Kick him in the nuts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 I'm back at my mums again. This time I think its for good, it all boils down to the fact that I don't want to get married. She is desperate for it but I'm so confused about the whole thing. We have been together over 4 years and she is pregnant with our 2nd child. Had a blazing row earlier today and both said a few things we should not have, I've explained that I just can't commit to marriage and if that's a crime then I'm guilty. Just one of those things that sometimes splits couples up, I don't expect her to settle for anything less because if that's what she wants then that's what she wants. I just can't do it at the moment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PompeyVillan Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 Rugely, I've had similar rows. I have no problem with commitment, but I'ma bit uncomfortable with getting married. I don't see it as something very special, because the way I treat her wouldn't change married or not. It isn't however a deal breaker for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 I've told her tonight if I end up losing you over this marriage thing then so be it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brommy Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 I'm back at my mums again. This time I think its for good, it all boils down to the fact that I don't want to get married. She is desperate for it but I'm so confused about the whole thing. We have been together over 4 years and she is pregnant with our 2nd child. Had a blazing row earlier today and both said a few things we should not have, I've explained that I just can't commit to marriage and if that's a crime then I'm guilty. Just one of those things that sometimes splits couples up, I don't expect her to settle for anything less because if that's what she wants then that's what she wants. I just can't do it at the moment.I think you are kidding yourself if you believe you have split over not wanting to get married. You say you can't commit and yet the biggest commitment is having kids - soon you will have two together. My parents divorced when I was 7 and were both remarried by the time I was 11. I'm sure they would prefer not to have anything to do with each other ever again but they had to because of my brother and I. 35 years later and they still have to attend the same events because of their joint grandchildren. I can understand being against a day that could cost thousands but if you loved her and are already in the biggest commitment anyone can make (kids), you wouldn't be that fussed over whether you were married or not. So, if you really love her, why not marry her? I'd rate the commitment level of marriage at less than 10% of the commitment of having children together. If you don't love her enough to stay with her that's fair enough, but I wouldn't blame commitment. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
islingtonclaret Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 George, the awful thing is that the advice you get plonked on here is the harshest, but quite possibly the most fair. Us lot in the internet know nothing of the ups and downs of your 15 year relationship; the many happy memories you'll have as well as the upsetting. All we get is the facts, and from that- as Xela said, is that you've got to ditch him. I'm not a fundamentalist when it comes to the notion of "people don't change"....because I believe some do. But the ability to change to me is usually indicated in the short term. And the sad fact from reading your story is -this bloke just ain't going to change. Get rid, start again. Horrible decision to make, but he's the one that's made a horrible decision for you to make. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisp65 Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 I'm no Leviramsey, but I had a go at schmoozing an all female couple this evening. Great fun, I think we all got on fine. Had a couple of drinks, listened to some live music. But I'm clearly no Leviramsey. I don't really understand where the game was lost, I think it all started to go down hill when I showed them the phone photos of my broken greenhouse and my new composter. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 I'm back at my mums again. This time I think its for good, it all boils down to the fact that I don't want to get married. She is desperate for it but I'm so confused about the whole thing. We have been together over 4 years and she is pregnant with our 2nd child. Had a blazing row earlier today and both said a few things we should not have, I've explained that I just can't commit to marriage and if that's a crime then I'm guilty. Just one of those things that sometimes splits couples up, I don't expect her to settle for anything less because if that's what she wants then that's what she wants. I just can't do it at the moment.I think you are kidding yourself if you believe you have split over not wanting to get married. You say you can't commit and yet the biggest commitment is having kids - soon you will have two together. My parents divorced when I was 7 and were both remarried by the time I was 11. I'm sure they would prefer not to have anything to do with each other ever again but they had to because of my brother and I. 35 years later and they still have to attend the same events because of their joint grandchildren. I can understand being against a day that could cost thousands but if you loved her and are already in the biggest commitment anyone can make (kids), you wouldn't be that fussed over whether you were married or not. So, if you really love her, why not marry her? I'd rate the commitment level of marriage at less than 10% of the commitment of having children together. If you don't love her enough to stay with her that's fair enough, but I wouldn't blame commitment. I just don't want to get married its as simple as that. Kids was the greatest thing ever to happen to me and I wanted kids. Just don't want marriage, yet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 I don't mind marriage - I'm engaged. Just don't want hundreds of people at a gathering. Me no likey. So been putting it off. If we could go to Gretna on our own I'd be married already. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rugeley Villa Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 I don't mind marriage - I'm engaged. Just don't want hundreds of people at a gathering. Me no likey. So been putting it off. If we could go to Gretna on our own I'd be married already. you mean to say you would not invite the villa talk gang Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 If I could get away with it I'd not even invite our respective parents! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shaggy Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 Go abroad and do it. Then set aside one night at home for the family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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