Jon Posted July 10, 2013 Share Posted July 10, 2013 I've had a bit of an issue with a girl recently. I want to make it clear that I don't consider myself a cocky guy; quite the opposite. the problem I have is that despite liking her, I have this fear that if we start to get closer then another girl will come along who I prefer and I'll be "stuck" with the first girl. this probably sounds completely mad but I feel like a bit of a t0sser telling a friend or someone because I presume the reaction "who the f**k do you think you are" You're never stuck with someone. If you go out with her and someone better comes along then break up with the first girl. A dangerous mantra. The grass is always greener.... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jon Posted July 10, 2013 Share Posted July 10, 2013 I've had a bit of an issue with a girl recently. I want to make it clear that I don't consider myself a cocky guy; quite the opposite. the problem I have is that despite liking her, I have this fear that if we start to get closer then another girl will come along who I prefer and I'll be "stuck" with the first girl. this probably sounds completely mad but I feel like a bit of a t0sser telling a friend or someone because I presume the reaction "who the f**k do you think you are" You're never stuck with someone. If you go out with her and someone better comes along then break up with the first girl. That doesn't make you a dick or anything, quite the opposite. With this attitude I'd say you're actually more likely to end up "settling". You'll shun any girl that comes along in case someone better is on the horizon and end up with nobody. However, I would say that if he is feeling like this now, it's clearly not the right girl for him. # Either that or he has huge comittment issues .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted July 10, 2013 VT Supporter Share Posted July 10, 2013 I've had a bit of an issue with a girl recently. I want to make it clear that I don't consider myself a cocky guy; quite the opposite. the problem I have is that despite liking her, I have this fear that if we start to get closer then another girl will come along who I prefer and I'll be "stuck" with the first girl. this probably sounds completely mad but I feel like a bit of a t0sser telling a friend or someone because I presume the reaction "who the f**k do you think you are" You're never stuck with someone. If you go out with her and someone better comes along then break up with the first girl. A dangerous mantra. The grass is always greener.... Well yes. I should have specified that you'd need to be sure. You wouldn't just go "shiiiit she's fit, you're dumped" Point I was makign is you don't NOT go out with someone for fear that you'll be "stuck" with them. You're never stuck with them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jon Posted July 10, 2013 Share Posted July 10, 2013 Point I was makign is you don't NOT go out with someone for fear that you'll be "stuck" with them. You're never stuck with them. Good point. Unless they're a stalker Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarewsEyebrowDesigner Posted July 10, 2013 Share Posted July 10, 2013 I was stuck with someone once. Braces, eh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AVFCforever1991 Posted July 10, 2013 Share Posted July 10, 2013 I've had a bit of an issue with a girl recently. I want to make it clear that I don't consider myself a cocky guy; quite the opposite. the problem I have is that despite liking her, I have this fear that if we start to get closer then another girl will come along who I prefer and I'll be "stuck" with the first girl. this probably sounds completely mad but I feel like a bit of a t0sser telling a friend or someone because I presume the reaction "who the f**k do you think you are" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shillzz Posted July 10, 2013 Share Posted July 10, 2013 (edited) I've had a bit of an issue with a girl recently. I want to make it clear that I don't consider myself a cocky guy; quite the opposite. the problem I have is that despite liking her, I have this fear that if we start to get closer then another girl will come along who I prefer and I'll be "stuck" with the first girl. this probably sounds completely mad but I feel like a bit of a t0sser telling a friend or someone because I presume the reaction "who the f**k do you think you are" If you give yourself chance to fall in love with the first, then it won't really matter if a 'better' one comes along. Edit: That was a bit ghey. Edited July 10, 2013 by Shillzz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skarroki Posted July 11, 2013 Share Posted July 11, 2013 ok thanks guys, she ain't a stalker type haha so no I guess i wouldn't be stuck with her, I think my thoughts are a mixture of "grass is greener" and commitment issues haha, I think it's probably best to tackle the issues head on and see how it goes. is that sensible? I suppose part of the problem is that I've never "committed" myself to a girl that I really like, if it is a girl I do like I stall and don't go for them until they get bored of waiting and find someone else. not really sure how to make the first move as I take a while to recover if I get knocked back, want to do something where it's just us 2 and we can talk, but not something blatantly date-like, no candle lit restaurants or that business, any suggestions? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genie Posted July 11, 2013 Share Posted July 11, 2013 The zoo, women love that. Its quite casual, the current weather is great and you get plenty of time to talk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted July 11, 2013 VT Supporter Share Posted July 11, 2013 Mini Golf at Star City. You'd be surprised. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TrentVilla Posted July 11, 2013 Moderator Share Posted July 11, 2013 Any hole and all that. Mini Golf at Star City. You'd be surprised. At how horrible the place is? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted July 11, 2013 VT Supporter Share Posted July 11, 2013 Any hole and all that. Mini Golf at Star City. You'd be surprised. At how horrible the place is? It's horrible. But a lot of fun, and the 2 times I've taken a girl there I've had a pretty fun time. Hence the surprise.Of course you don't have to go to Star City, that's just the only one I know in Brum. It's something a bit different from the usual drink that most people go for. Breaks the awkwardness as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TrentVilla Posted July 11, 2013 Moderator Share Posted July 11, 2013 Any hole and all that. Mini Golf at Star City. You'd be surprised. At how horrible the place is? It's horrible. But a lot of fun, and the 2 times I've taken a girl there I've had a pretty fun time. Hence the surprise. Of course you don't have to go to Star City, that's just the only one I know in Brum. It's something a bit different from the usual drink that most people go for. Breaks the awkwardness as well. You managed to get your ball in one of the novelty holes? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted July 11, 2013 VT Supporter Share Posted July 11, 2013 Any hole and all that. Mini Golf at Star City. You'd be surprised. At how horrible the place is? It's horrible. But a lot of fun, and the 2 times I've taken a girl there I've had a pretty fun time. Hence the surprise. Of course you don't have to go to Star City, that's just the only one I know in Brum. It's something a bit different from the usual drink that most people go for. Breaks the awkwardness as well. You managed to get your ball in one of the novelty holes? Surprisingly hard to get your balls in there... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarewsEyebrowDesigner Posted July 11, 2013 Share Posted July 11, 2013 (edited) Go for a walk. Walks are underrated. Make sure a good pub is at the end. If a lady says she doesn't like walking, sod that. Edited July 11, 2013 by CarewsEyebrowDesigner Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MMFy Posted July 12, 2013 Share Posted July 12, 2013 My two-penneth worth. I'm in a total mess. More than four years ago I met two girls. One through a dating website (the one associated with Scuba Steve) and the other through a friend of a friend. I settled into a relationship with the girl from the dating website, who I liked a lot. We are still together now, and until recently were very happy and planning for the future. We are from different backgrounds and have different interests, but we have managed to overcome this for four years without too many issues. The 'other' girl, I thought at the time, was in a relationship, but going through a sketchy phase. It later turns out she wasn't, and had ended it prior to our friendship really kicking off. I never thought anything other than friendship was on the cards at the time, although there were some occasional moments (tension) when we were drunk. The difference here is that this girl shares all the same interests as me - music, films, television, socialising, traveling, cycling, exercise, the list goes on and on. During this four year period, she has drifted in and out of three of four relationships and been unduly **** around by a couple of prize cockmasters. We have maintained a healthy friendship through this time, even though she has known all along I have been 'interested'. The 'problems' started a few weeks ago. I have a sort of distant feeling that I am being led as a passenger in someone else's relationship at present. So last Saturday I arranged to go out for a cycle with 'other girl'. Nothing untoward, we are just friends and my missus is fully aware of this. We picked up a load of wine and cider and rode over to her friends house, where we went for a barbecue. Yes, we were both staying over there for the night, but nothing was going to happen. The cider disappeared quickly, then a number of bottles of wine, and around 11pm it was down to me, 'other girl' and her friend to finish off the rest of the wine. The friend went to bed about midnight, leaving us with about a bottle or so between us. Now this girl has often told me about issues with her relationships before, and I didn't feel it would be a problem to air a few of my own. Which then spilled forth. I'm absolutely crazy about this girl, and I have been since we first met (she's like my soulmate), but I never thought anything would come of it, then when I got myself into a relationship with someone else, I thought it best not to push it, for everyone's sake. However, she pointed out straight away that she knows how I feel about her, and that other people had said it is quite obvious. Which I would assume it is. She then told me that I 'meet the approval' of her family and friends, and that a lot of her friends and even her mother have in the past suggested that we would be a great match. Not what I was expecting to be honest. I can't exactly remember how it happened from there for a short while, but within a minute or so she was sitting on my lap and physical contact was becoming intimate. After 20 minutes or so we moved away from each other momentarily and sat talking. I basically threw my cards down on the table and let her know exactly where I stood. I would give up everything to be with this girl. It got emotional, then it got intimate again, then she pulled away, saying "I'm not the answer to your problems". We were cool with each other after that, and slept in separate rooms. We cycled back in the morning and were fine with each other then, and I returned home. There hasn't been any animosity between us since, and I will likely see her this weekend, albeit briefly. I've discussed with the missus this week where we believe our relationship is heading, and it is up in the air at the moment. She doesn't know anything about this, or how I feel about 'other girl', but it seems we are heading in opposite directions at the moment. I just haven't got a **** clue what to do. I had to get it off my chest though... And for reference, I never smashed the other girl's back doors in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarewsEyebrowDesigner Posted July 12, 2013 Share Posted July 12, 2013 Give both up, move to Antarctica and live a life of solitude. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted July 12, 2013 Share Posted July 12, 2013 My two-penneth worth. I'm in a total mess. More than four years ago I met two girls. One through a dating website (the one associated with Scuba Steve) and the other through a friend of a friend. I settled into a relationship with the girl from the dating website, who I liked a lot. We are still together now, and until recently were very happy and planning for the future. We are from different backgrounds and have different interests, but we have managed to overcome this for four years without too many issues. The 'other' girl, I thought at the time, was in a relationship, but going through a sketchy phase. It later turns out she wasn't, and had ended it prior to our friendship really kicking off. I never thought anything other than friendship was on the cards at the time, although there were some occasional moments (tension) when we were drunk. The difference here is that this girl shares all the same interests as me - music, films, television, socialising, traveling, cycling, exercise, the list goes on and on. During this four year period, she has drifted in and out of three of four relationships and been unduly **** around by a couple of prize cockmasters. We have maintained a healthy friendship through this time, even though she has known all along I have been 'interested'. The 'problems' started a few weeks ago. I have a sort of distant feeling that I am being led as a passenger in someone else's relationship at present. So last Saturday I arranged to go out for a cycle with 'other girl'. Nothing untoward, we are just friends and my missus is fully aware of this. We picked up a load of wine and cider and rode over to her friends house, where we went for a barbecue. Yes, we were both staying over there for the night, but nothing was going to happen. The cider disappeared quickly, then a number of bottles of wine, and around 11pm it was down to me, 'other girl' and her friend to finish off the rest of the wine. The friend went to bed about midnight, leaving us with about a bottle or so between us. Now this girl has often told me about issues with her relationships before, and I didn't feel it would be a problem to air a few of my own. Which then spilled forth. I'm absolutely crazy about this girl, and I have been since we first met (she's like my soulmate), but I never thought anything would come of it, then when I got myself into a relationship with someone else, I thought it best not to push it, for everyone's sake. However, she pointed out straight away that she knows how I feel about her, and that other people had said it is quite obvious. Which I would assume it is. She then told me that I 'meet the approval' of her family and friends, and that a lot of her friends and even her mother have in the past suggested that we would be a great match. Not what I was expecting to be honest. I can't exactly remember how it happened from there for a short while, but within a minute or so she was sitting on my lap and physical contact was becoming intimate. After 20 minutes or so we moved away from each other momentarily and sat talking. I basically threw my cards down on the table and let her know exactly where I stood. I would give up everything to be with this girl. It got emotional, then it got intimate again, then she pulled away, saying "I'm not the answer to your problems". We were cool with each other after that, and slept in separate rooms. We cycled back in the morning and were fine with each other then, and I returned home. There hasn't been any animosity between us since, and I will likely see her this weekend, albeit briefly. I've discussed with the missus this week where we believe our relationship is heading, and it is up in the air at the moment. She doesn't know anything about this, or how I feel about 'other girl', but it seems we are heading in opposite directions at the moment. I just haven't got a **** clue what to do. I had to get it off my chest though... And for reference, I never smashed the other girl's back doors in. Tough mate. Tough. But can I post this on Facebook? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted July 12, 2013 Moderator Share Posted July 12, 2013 MMFy I'll say what I think you want to hear from someone other than your own thoughts. It sounds from what you've written as if, in reality, you are already done with the current situation and are looking for a neat way for it to end so that the 'other' thing can begin. It sounds as if you should be with 'other' girl and it sounds like a no-brainer from what you've written regarding interests, background etc. Common interests do actually count more than we'd like them to. You don't seem entirely happy in the current setup and from what you've written it appears as though you're already drifting.That's the impression I've gotten from what you've written anyway. And another thing. If that's the impression you are giving off, then it's probably because it's precisely what you want us to read into the situation. Ergo, deep down, you've already made the decision and just needed to hear it from someone else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Voinjama Posted July 12, 2013 Share Posted July 12, 2013 (edited) I was going to put this in the ''things that piss you off thread.....'' thread, but it seems just as appropriate here. I was talking to a girl yesterday and one thing I can't stand is when women act like their views are representative of all womenkind when of course that is not the case. Any view you express is yours only, some may agree, and some may not. Anyway she said 4 things that completely shocked me, and we almost argued about it. 1. If a girl moves to a guy she is desperate. Girls should not move to guys, only the other way around is acceptable. 2. If a girl meets up with a guy the next day, it means she has nothing going in her life and she is not busy. Why would you wanna get with a girl who has nothing going on in her life. 3. A guy must be persistent, he must keep trying and trying, that's how my boyfriend got me. 4. I get moved to so often it's boring. I don't like all the attention. On each point she went into more detail, but that is the basics of it. I deleted the facebook request I sent her pronto Edited July 12, 2013 by Voinjama Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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