The_Rev Posted July 27, 2011 Share Posted July 27, 2011 Quick story about a lad I used to go to school with. He was something of a ladies man and one Friday night when we were about 17 or 18 he was last seen disappearing into a taxi cab with an attractive young female of the opposite sex. Quite a regular occurrence for him, he seemed to have more luck with the ladies than the rest of us combined (sadly) so we waved him adieu and wished him good luck. Not that he needed it. Cut to Saturday afternoon and a few of us are in the pub, nursing a pint and watching the football scores come in on Sky Sports. At some point in the afternoon the hero of this tale arrives to join us for a drink. "how did it go with the bird last night?" is the first thing everybody asks, and in reply we get a theatrical eye roll and a "dont ask", and of course "dont ask" almost always means they are dying to tell you what really happened. Five minutes later we were all pissing ourselves with laughter at the story. It turns out this girl was a bit kinky. They were trying to have drunken sex standing up against the wall. She was leaning against the wall and he was banging her. At some point she somehow managed to get one of her fingers up his arse without giving him any kind of warning. Apparently it really hurt and his natural, actually lets say reflex action was to punch her square in the mouth. It was a good punch too, he split her lip and the back of her head bounced off the wall. I'd imagine the next twenty minutes trying to apologise while she is standing in the hall of his house quietly crying and waiting for a taxi to take her home are still amongst the most awkward of his life. He did give her a fiver for the taxi though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrDuck Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 At some point she somehow managed to get one of her fingers up his arse without giving him any kind of warning. Apparently it really hurt and his natural, actually lets say reflex action was to punch her square in the mouth. It was a good punch too, he split her lip and the back of her head bounced off the wall. I'd imagine the next twenty minutes trying to apologise while she is standing in the hall of his house quietly crying and waiting for a taxi to take her home are still amongst the most awkward of his life. He did give her a fiver for the taxi though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomzep Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 ^ My mate had the same opportunity with a right dirty slag due to the same reasons. Safe to say he took it with both hands. He got both hands in?!?!? jesus! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leviramsey Posted July 28, 2011 VT Supporter Share Posted July 28, 2011 Must say I'm partial to a bit of 'The Postma' from time to time. :shock: Isn't that a bit..... "ghey?" Surely it's no more ghey than doing a woman up the wrong 'un? How is having anal sex with your missus ghey? :? And that was my point. You've lost me!?!? You do know what happened with Postma? Let me spell it out for you. Doing your wife up the wrong 'un isn't "ghey" because it's with your missus. Having your wife do you up the wrong 'un isn't "ghey" because it's with your missus. If in either of those situations you replace "your wife" with "a bloke" it becomes "ghey", not because of the act but because of who it's with. So if you think that having your wife do you up the wrong 'un is ghey, by extension you doing your wife up the wrong 'un must be ghey as well, because obviously you want it to really be a bloke. Would those who consider being Postma'd by a laydee to be ghey consider autofellation to be ghey? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genie Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 I've also had the line "I'm on the blob so stick it in me arse" barked at me as well by a one night stand. When's the wedding? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pelle Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 Some really great posts in this thread. Done it with a few girls. As nice as it is, I prefer the front door. But from time to time I enter the back door. I must admit that I've missed what happened to the big fat goalie we once had here. :oops: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eames Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 Some really great posts in this thread. Done it with a few girls. As nice as it is, I prefer the front door. But from time to time I enter the back door. I must admit that I've missed what happened to the big fat goalie we once had here. :oops: Just Google Images "Stefan Postma" NOT SUITABLE FOR WORK! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genie Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 Just Google Images "Stefan Postma" NOT SUITABLE FOR WORK There is also a home video with sound if you're feeling really brave :shock: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eames Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 I didn't want to scare Pelle away........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wiggyrichard Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 2 people on VT have done the 'Postma'....**** me!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eames Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 2 people on VT have done the 'Postma'....**** me!!! Bend over Wiggy..... soon to be three. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GarethRDR Posted July 28, 2011 Author Share Posted July 28, 2011 The best part about the Postma affair was what his agent said following the player's desire to move abroad and escape fan mockery; "...we hope it is all behind us now". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wiggyrichard Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 2 people on VT have done the 'Postma'....**** me!!! Bend over Wiggy..... soon to be three. As long as we dont make eye contact we should be safe! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eames Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 Balls won't touch...... Not Ghey Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted July 28, 2011 VT Supporter Share Posted July 28, 2011 I've also had the line "I'm on the blob so stick it in me arse" barked at me as well by a one night stand. Classy was she? She certainly has a way with words. She was from Wigan #enoughsaid Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted July 28, 2011 VT Supporter Share Posted July 28, 2011 the gf saying she enjoyed it and then her sister (then 18) came out with, she was a bit scared of the idea but it is a box that would need to be ticked. That automatic smiley substitution was really, REALLY unfortunate, wasn't it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meath_Villan Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 This thread is about to .....bottom out Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ALL.IV.1 Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 2 people on VT have done the 'Postma'....**** me!!! Don't be jel, be reamed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted July 28, 2011 Moderator Share Posted July 28, 2011 the gf saying she enjoyed it and then her sister (then 18) came out with, she was a bit scared of the idea but it is a box that would need to be ticked. That automatic smiley substitution was really, REALLY unfortunate, wasn't it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chappy Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 great thread. i fall between options b and c. oft discussed when drunk but never ended up happening, who knows for the future. hadn't heard about our old keeper until now... ahahahaha! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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