Risso Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 Don't be silly. We're not French. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Troglodyte Posted January 24, 2011 VT Supporter Share Posted January 24, 2011 Voulez-vous utiliser le bumwasher? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leviramsey Posted January 24, 2011 VT Supporter Share Posted January 24, 2011 Mine are stood on top of the cistern. Who on earth needs a bog roll holder? this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leviramsey Posted January 24, 2011 VT Supporter Share Posted January 24, 2011 Anyone else use the kids' toilet wipes? You are Howard Stern and I claim my prize Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AVFC-Prideofbrum Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 Mine is on the cistern. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomzep Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 Away from wall. Fold it. I also get off the toilet when I wipe my arse, the sitting technique is far too dangerous Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maqroll Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 I voted for Near the Shitter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted January 24, 2011 Moderator Share Posted January 24, 2011 I also get off the toilet when I wipe my arse, the sitting technique is far too dangerous What's likely to happen? You afraid you'll fall in? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Troglodyte Posted January 24, 2011 VT Supporter Share Posted January 24, 2011 That's what you get for keeping a crocodile in your crapper. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brumerican Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 When you stand up your cheeks automatically close a little thus squashing the poop into your bum mounds. Stay sitting , wrap the paper around your non masturbating hand like an oven glove and reach under from the front. Two good scoops should suffice and maybe a final spit polish at the end if you're in the mood. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomzep Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 I also get off the toilet when I wipe my arse, the sitting technique is far too dangerous What's likely to happen? You afraid you'll fall in? My hand may come in to contact with the toilet, and also far too close to my own shit. I'd prefer to step slightly away from the toilet and wipe at a safe distance Slightly mental I know. I had a fear of falling in the toilet when I was little, I used to obsese about putting the seat down Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomzep Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 When you stand up your cheeks automatically close a little thus squashing the poop into your bum mounds. Stay sitting , wrap the paper around your non masturbating hand like an oven glove and reach under from the front. Two good scoops should suffice and maybe a final spit polish at the end if you're in the mood. I sort of remain squatted as I step away and lean forward a little Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brumerican Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 When you stand up your cheeks automatically close a little thus squashing the poop into your bum mounds. Stay sitting , wrap the paper around your non masturbating hand like an oven glove and reach under from the front. Two good scoops should suffice and maybe a final spit polish at the end if you're in the mood. I sort of remain squatted as I step away and lean forward a little I have a plan B for when I have been drinking Guiness the day previous. It's the same as above but requires 2 rolls, wet wipes and a shovel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villaajax Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 Away from the wall, does this really need questioning? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted January 24, 2011 Moderator Share Posted January 24, 2011 I had a fear of falling in the toilet when I was little, I used to obsese about putting the seat down Well tbf there were years when the diameter of your ass is less than that of the toilet so it's a fear and a balancing act Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chindie Posted January 24, 2011 VT Supporter Share Posted January 24, 2011 I had a fear of falling in the toilet when I was little, I used to obsese about putting the seat down Well tbf there were years when the diameter of your ass is less than that of the toilet so it's a fear and a balancing act It is this unspoken, unknown fear that fuels the developed worlds fat children problem, clearly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darrenm Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 Anyone else use the kids' toilet wipes? You are Howard Stern and I claim my prize We have to have them for the kids and given the choice between dry wiping and wiping with kids damp toilet wipes that get me perfectly clean and are less work it's the kids wipes every time. Of course I have to revert to bog roll every now and again, but I don't like it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
claret75 Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 When you stand up your cheeks automatically close a little thus squashing the poop into your bum mounds. Stay sitting , wrap the paper around your non masturbating hand like an oven glove and reach under from the front. Two good scoops should suffice and maybe a final spit polish at the end if you're in the mood. I stand and I get the piss taken out of me for it My mate used to wipe his arse from bum to balls, which is just retarded. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xann Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 I hate it when the two laminated sheets separate, which then leads to the perforated tears being misaligned and you cant use it. Hate that too. If that happens I have to dig through the layers to get to a proper fully laminated layer again. The feel of the pull of the sheet when it isn't properly laminated puts my teeth on edge for some reason. Laminated loo roll? Sounds messy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maqroll Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 Clearly it's time to merge this thread with the "How Do You Wipe Your Arse?" thread.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts