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Paddy's "Things that cheer you up"


rjw63

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Played for my Sunday League team yesterday. Stuck in goal these days as no-one else on the team can play there.

Saved a penatly. That's 5 penalties faced this season, and all 5 saved.

I'm invincible.

(one of them they scored the rebound, but I've checked, and it still counts!)

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You need to come up against the metronome Stevo. (Me.)

Never missed or had saved a penalty! I think it's the ferocious psychotic "Ima kill you!" look I shoot the 'keeper first, mind.

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one thing that cheers me up is being safe in the knowlege that everyone at work knows that if I am reading my book with my headphones in when I am on my lunch or a break then it is the equivelant of a ''DO NOT DISTURB'' sign

yeah you would have thought this would be pretty obvious but apparently its not

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I think we have a challenge. The VT penalty deathmatch.

Stevo v Understudy. The immovable object meets the unstoppable force.

One reputation must fall.

Haha.

I wouldn't say mine's reputation.

Been playing in goal on and off for about 15 years, and before the 5 this season, I reckon I've saved as many, if not less, in the previous 14 years (not counting shootouts)

Just having a good season!

That being said, no offence to TUS, but I'm doubting his Matt Le Tissier record at penalties.

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Depends at what level. I've never missed but only ever taken 2 in proper 'refereed' matches.

Is he counting kick abouts with mates? As a kid when you'd play in the lounge with a tennis ball and a doorframe for a goal?

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My first (and one of only two :() glorious sports achievement was a penalty save. When I were a nipper, I played in goal for a Sunday League team consisting primarily of people from my school who I **** hated (and vice-versa). Much to their chagrin, I was the only decent 'keeper amongst them, so I got to play despite being ostracised and shunned by their little clique.

I'll never forget the day; we were playing Tadley Calleva on the pitches up at AWE, and for 70 minutes there was no action at either end and a draw looked nailed-on. Cue my only mate on the team taking the opportunity to punch the ball in the area with no degree of subtlety whatsoever, whistle goes and penalty.

I always fancied myself at shootouts; Bozzie was my childhood hero, and I must have read every cheap kid's "how to be a goalie" book that the local libraries had to offer. I'd already resolved to hurl myself to my right when their striker strolled up to the spot. Now, I don't know what he did wrong when he took the penalty, but it was **** atrocious. He must have scuffed the floor or something, because he basically passed it straight down the middle of the goal. However, I'd already flung myself to the side. Luckily, given the speed (or lack thereof) of said shot, I managed to fall on my side, stick my legs out like a pair of scissors and grab the ball twixt my shins.

For that day, at least, I was a hero. I got to take home the tacky little man of the match trophy for a week before normal service resumed, but it was brilliant while it lasted.

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"Marvellous."

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i only played in goal once in real game, our goal Keeper got injured so i went in goal at HT. My first touch Ref blowed up gave a penalty has no 1 had informed him we had swapped keepers. i had allready decided to dive to my Right and went the right way to touch it around the post.

10 mins later they was awarded another penalty. They swapped takers so trying to psych him out i said " same place and just has easy please m8" And he did, hero me 2 pen saves within 10 mins. Dont remember score but remember the 3 free pints for MOTM :P

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True, but in fairness, there's simply no stopping a tennis ball that's been toe punted in the correct manner.

True. I played with a balloon once. A **** balloon! Any idea how hard it is to clearing in the woods one in the top corner with a balloon?

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I was a bit of a Neville Southall in my day.

I was year 6 goalkeeper and I remember a dramatic match where we played Wheelers Lane...now they had a cocky **** with blonde curtains who curled an effort around me earlier in the game. For some unknown reason because he'd done that he berated me for being shit. We equalised with about 15 minutes to go (drawing with Wheelers Lane was an achievement in itself) and then at around the 91st min' a team mate of mine, let's call him nob jockey, decided to pass it to this onrushing blonde nobber. So he's there one on one. He shimmies, I shimmy. Time stops dead. He takes it round me but somehow my full dive and reach is enough to grab the ball from his feet...cue elation from us and penalty appeals from them. Finished 1-1. Boomtown.

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Gemma the über-hot accountant who no longer works in our office has returned for the day. Wearing a skirt and skin-tight leggings.

This is exactly what cameras attached to phones was invented for. GET TO WORK DAMMIT!

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