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A Full English Breakfast


villa4europe

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Bacon: 3 Rashers min - back bacon not streaky, not overcooked either

Sausages: 2 min (and none of this chipolata nonsense) - there should always been at least one more bacon rasher than sausages, undercooked anaemic sausages should be avoided 

Eggs : 1 min, preferably 2 soft centred and not flipped so they are white on both sides. Scrambled only acceptable if not overcooked to the point of dryness

Black Pudding: 2 slice min

Mushrooms: Preferable but they should be drained of juice before hitting the plate

Beans: optional, no ramekins

Tomato: optional and not tinned, fresh tomato grilled, 1 and only 1 i.e. two halves

Bread: 2 slices of thick shitey whitey (BUTTERED no marg) or replace 1 with fried bread. Good quality proper bread (white) is also acceptable but not essential

Potato products: this is an F.E.B. not a wacky gastro fusion dish

Items listed in order of importance

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1 hour ago, bickster said:

Bacon: 3 Rashers min - back bacon not streaky, not overcooked either

Sausages: 2 min (and none of this chipolata nonsense) - there should always been at least one more bacon rasher than sausages, undercooked anaemic sausages should be avoided 

Eggs : 1 min, preferably 2 soft centred and not flipped so they are white on both sides. Scrambled only acceptable if not overcooked to the point of dryness

Black Pudding: 2 slice min

Mushrooms: Preferable but they should be drained of juice before hitting the plate

Beans: optional, no ramekins

Tomato: optional and not tinned, fresh tomato grilled, 1 and only 1 i.e. two halves

Bread: 2 slices of thick shitey whitey (BUTTERED no marg) or replace 1 with fried bread. Good quality proper bread (white) is also acceptable but not essential

Potato products: this is an F.E.B. not a wacky gastro fusion dish

Items listed in order of importance

close.....

3 bacon, 2 sausages, 1 egg*, black pudding, beans with the juice cooked off, 2 slices of bread preferably toasted but wouldn't say no to 1 toasted 1 fried, hash browns**

tea + juice and normally id end up having a coke afterwards

* scrambled egg is acceptable in bad cafes where the fried egg will have a burned bottom, bad fried eggs are a big no from me and as a general rule of thumb greasy spoons have bad fried eggs

** crisped to perfection, they're there for texture, have to be crispy

 

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3 hours ago, bickster said:

Bacon: 3 Rashers min - back bacon not streaky, not overcooked either

Sausages: 2 min (and none of this chipolata nonsense) - there should always been at least one more bacon rasher than sausages, undercooked anaemic sausages should be avoided 

Eggs : 1 min, preferably 2 soft centred and not flipped so they are white on both sides. Scrambled only acceptable if not overcooked to the point of dryness

Black Pudding: 2 slice min

Mushrooms: Preferable but they should be drained of juice before hitting the plate

Beans: optional, no ramekins

Tomato: optional and not tinned, fresh tomato grilled, 1 and only 1 i.e. two halves

Bread: 2 slices of thick shitey whitey (BUTTERED no marg) or replace 1 with fried bread. Good quality proper bread (white) is also acceptable but not essential

Potato products: this is an F.E.B. not a wacky gastro fusion dish

Items listed in order of importance

We have a winner!

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^^^ apart from the portion size, that looks mainly grim. Tinned toms, get out of here, potato products plural, complete amateur behaviour, the sausages are half cooked, bacon seems grossly overdone, one slice of black pudding on a £30 breakfast... words are failing me. WTF is that random stuff in the middle? The eggs are in danger of breaking the yoke before it gets under the control of the eater due to the ridiculous amount of thin shitey whitey.

Thats not an FEB is a nuclear accident

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15 minutes ago, bickster said:

^^^ apart from the portion size, that looks mainly grim. Tinned toms, get out of here, potato products plural, complete amateur behaviour, the sausages are half cooked, bacon seems grossly overdone, one slice of black pudding on a £30 breakfast... words are failing me. WTF is that random stuff in the middle? The eggs are in danger of breaking the yoke before it gets under the control of the eater due to the ridiculous amount of thin shitey whitey.

Thats not an FEB is a nuclear accident

I was thinking more along the lines of not wanting to follow her into the khazi which you description of the breakfast content supports 

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4 hours ago, bickster said:

Bacon: 3 Rashers min - back bacon not streaky, not overcooked either

Sausages: 2 min (and none of this chipolata nonsense) - there should always been at least one more bacon rasher than sausages, undercooked anaemic sausages should be avoided 

Eggs : 1 min, preferably 2 soft centred and not flipped so they are white on both sides. Scrambled only acceptable if not overcooked to the point of dryness

Black Pudding: 2 slice min

Mushrooms: Preferable but they should be drained of juice before hitting the plate

Beans: optional, no ramekins

Tomato: optional and not tinned, fresh tomato grilled, 1 and only 1 i.e. two halves

Bread: 2 slices of thick shitey whitey (BUTTERED no marg) or replace 1 with fried bread. Good quality proper bread (white) is also acceptable but not essential

Potato products: this is an F.E.B. not a wacky gastro fusion dish

Items listed in order of importance

at least you had the decency to make tomato and mushrooms optional  , I'll allow the black pudding as although I wont eat it , it wont' leak and tarnish anything else on the plate so I can just work around it , or give it to one of my heathen mates who eat Northerner peasant  food 

few of the cafe's in London when I order a breakfast  and ask them to remove the beans and tomato will offer me an extra egg or sausages instead  , it would upset your ratio of bacon to sausages but its always a nice Brucie bonus when they do it 

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11 minutes ago, tonyh29 said:

at least you had the decency to make tomato and mushrooms optional  , I'll allow the black pudding as although I wont eat it , it wont' leak and tarnish anything else on the plate so I can just work around it , or give it to one of my heathen mates who eat Northerner peasant  food 

few of the cafe's in London when I order a breakfast  and ask them to remove the beans and tomato will offer me an extra egg or sausages instead  , it would upset your ratio of bacon to sausages but its always a nice Brucie bonus when they do it 

Do you have chips with a FEB 

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4 minutes ago, Follyfoot said:

Do you have chips with a FEB 

I wouldn't go out of my way to add it as for me chips are aren't really a  breakfast food  , but if its offered as part of the breakfast then I'll have them and if nobody is looking will turn into a Northerner and make a chip butty 

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1 minute ago, tonyh29 said:

I wouldn't go out of my way to add it as for me chips are aren't really a  breakfast food  , but if its offered as part of the breakfast then I'll have them and if nobody is looking will turn into a Northerner and make a chip butty 

But Northerners would not have chips on a breakfast as it is only a Laaaaandan 'thing '😃 

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5 minutes ago, fightoffyour said:

If you're eating chips with a breakfast they clearly haven't provided enough of the good stuff.

posh fusion twits addled on shandy

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20 hours ago, chrisp65 said:

Ramekins.

**** ramekins.

We better hope there’s never another world war with winter trench warfare, we’d be **** ****.

 

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8 hours ago, Mic09 said:

That sound like a lovely breakfast, but what are your views on a Full English Breakfast?

Mushrooms and black pudding or GTFO. 

'Rooms and Pud are merely accoutrements to a breakfast and not part of the core ingredients. 

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18 minutes ago, Xela said:

'Rooms and Pud are merely accoutrements to a breakfast and not part of the core ingredients. 

They are the essence, otherwise you are having an all day brunch at breakfast time.

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You lot are ruining breakfasts with mushrooms. They have no place on a plate. They should be in a field, left well alone. 

Fried blood clots also have no place on a plate. 

Edited by Tayls
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What annoys me is when you go out around lunchtime after a heavy boozer the night before and the pub only serves all day brunch rather than breakfast. I want hashbrowns and toast, not chips. How hard is it to just stick some hashbrowns on the grill? 

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