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Congratulations! You’re Villa’s new manager!


Marka Ragnos
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And condolences. All you did was make some offhand comments on a message board, and now you’ve suddenly been hired as the new Aston Villa manager.

What three things would you do to improve Aston Villa as soon as possible?*
 

* The more specific the better. 

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1 minute ago, Marka Ragnos said:

And condolences. All you did was make some offhand comments on a message board, and now you’ve suddenly been hired as the new Aston Villa manager.

What three things would you do to improve Aston Villa as soon as possible?*
 

* The more specific the better. 

1. Tie some bungee cords to the Holte end advertise hoardings and then attach to Digne and Cash to prevent and them running up the pitch all the time like headless chickens.

2. Remove the captaincy from McGinn, load him into a cannon and fire him into space.

3. Get rid of the christmas tree formation and go 4-2-3-1 instead.

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  1. Hire a VillaTalk Analyst whose job is to read VillaTalk, providing me with daily feedback on:
    1. Who backs me and who is #KentVillanOut, so I can pay other people to smear them as idiots in the matchday threads and my manager thread.
    2. Does VillaTalk think my assistant coach is the "brains" of the setup - if so, sack him. Better to do this early so he doesn't leave on his own terms 12 months later.
    3. What's going on in the Russia / Ukraine conflict, Covid pandemic, and contemporary music, all areas where VillaTalk members are world leading experts.
  2. Buy Kylian Mbappe - controversial, but I believe he would improve the side a lot, and link up well with Cameron Archer.
  3. Make Tyrone Mings captain - allowing me to finally bench John McGinn, which should buy me at least 6 months of goodwill from the fans while I try and sort this shitshow out
Edited by KentVillan
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1. Train with a 4-1-2-3 formation and apply @AshVilla's No. 1 bungee cord solution for Digne and Cash. 

2. Scout for two youthful and clinical CMs to replace Coutinho and especially McGinn -- easier said than done.

3. Make sure Ings is not having to run and plays more as a pure striker target man, possibly from a swiveling stool.  

Edited by Marka Ragnos
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1 minute ago, Xela said:

Buy a sheepskin coat and a fedora hat. 

Oh, man, laughing like crazy. Anything to avoid having to think about Villa reality is really working for me today. 

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4 minutes ago, Xela said:

Buy a sheepskin coat and a fedora hat. 

One of things wrong with modern football management is the lack of this kind or sartorial elegance. 

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The fact that nobody has taken the question seriously so far tells me that we all know the problem goes deeper than the manager.

Neither Deano nor SG has been able to find a system that works with these parts. SG has not helped himself by inflexibly sticking to variations on a 4-3-3.

My first step is trying different setups...4-3-3 and 5-3-2 have not worked well, so I'm trying a 4-2-3-1 first, then maybe a 4-1-4-1, then maybe even a 4-4-2. Really, you need at least two setups these days to give you some flexibility, but we've got to identify one that works first.

Man management is key. You need to re-build bridges to Mings, Dougie (if he stays), maybe even Sanson. We don't want Kamara leaving; a good relationship with him is key. Building a positive atmosphere and restoring confidence is every bit as important as tactics. None of us really know what's going on behind the scenes, but I'd want to read the room then meet with all the players individually.

 

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1 minute ago, Marka Ragnos said:

Oh, man, laughing like crazy. Anything to avoid having to think about Villa reality is really working for me today. 

This is how a manager should look

0-Getty-Images-2663577.jpg

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Well.....its a big club and I have been a fan since I was a child. This is my dream job.  We have a great bunch of lads and some real talent in the squad. We've got some big games coming up and we need to get something from them.  It's a marathon and not a sprint and at the end of the day it's far from over.  I want the fans to really get behind us and be our twelfth man.  But, you know, football is a funny game and we only need to win 10 matches in a row and we'll be challenging for Europe.  I want the players to step up, knuckle down, buckle up, put their nose to the grindstone and put in a shift.  If we believe in ourselves, tighten up, stick together and live for today we can turn this around and send the fans home happy.  

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Also manage Man City, sell all their best players to Villa for £1, then sell all our fringe players to Man City for £1bn, resign as manager of Man City and just focus on Villa.  That’s what I used to do on Football Manager so I assume real life is the same?

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13 minutes ago, TomC said:

The fact that nobody has taken the question seriously so far tells me that we all know the problem goes deeper than the manager.

Neither Deano nor SG has been able to find a system that works with these parts. SG has not helped himself by inflexibly sticking to variations on a 4-3-3.

My first step is trying different setups...4-3-3 and 5-3-2 have not worked well, so I'm trying a 4-2-3-1 first, then maybe a 4-1-4-1, then maybe even a 4-4-2. Really, you need at least two setups these days to give you some flexibility, but we've got to identify one that works first.

Man management is key. You need to re-build bridges to Mings, Dougie (if he stays), maybe even Sanson. We don't want Kamara leaving; a good relationship with him is key. Building a positive atmosphere and restoring confidence is every bit as important as tactics. None of us really know what's going on behind the scenes, but I'd want to read the room then meet with all the players individually.

 

I love your post, but in defense of the humour, it's way better than anything I ever imagined. People are seriously comedic.

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