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WAHEY! It's a JOKE thread : Enter at your own risk.


villadude

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When you have to analyse a joke its ruined. :(

Thanks for ruining my evening CED :(

What cheese do Pandas eat? Camem-bear

*awaits heckling*

And yes, I've seen the Panda cheese adverts... :)

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Our daughter came downstairs this evening and asked if she could go out dressed in little more than a miniskirt and bikini top.

"Of course you can! Have fun!" I said.

After she'd gone, my wife glared at me and said "The trouble with you is you're going soft"

How wrong she was.

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My ex-girlfriend is trying to blackmail me by threatening to post full frontal nude photographs of me on the Internet.

I don't see why she thinks I'd be worried though. I've seen those photos and you can barely even make out my cock.

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Was chatting to my next door neighbour today and I'm usually the first to call a spade a spade, but today I thought I'd mix it up a bit and call Leroy a nig nog.

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My wife told me she's going out and getting pissed tonight. I said, "Way-hay! Blowjob for me tonight then!"

"No, you have to stay in and look after the kids," she said.

"Exactly." I replied.

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No idea if the claim to broadcast is true but i found it funny as hell anyway and can imagine Ronnie Barker reciting it with a straight face

Subject: FW: Ronnie Barker Genius]

If If you can read this without laughing, you must be devoid of laughter cells......

This was originally shown on BBC TV back in the 70's. Ronnie Barker could say all this without a snigger, though God knows after how many takes.

The irony is, BBC received not one complaint.

The speed of delivery must have been too much

for the whining herds. Try getting through it without converting the spoonerisms [and not wetting your pants] as you read.......

This is the story of Rindercella and her sugly isters.

Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion. Rindercella worked very hard frubbing sloors, emptying poss pits, and shivelling shot.

At the end of the day, she was knucking fackered. The sugly isters were right bugly astards. One was called Mary Hinge, and the other was called Betty

Swallocks; they were really forrible huckers;they had fetty sweet and fatty swannies.

The sugly isters had tickets to go to the ball, but the cotton runts would not let Rindercella go.

Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her gairy fodmother appeared. Her name was Shairy Hithole and she was a light rucking fesbian. She turned a

pumpkin and six mite wice into a hucking cuge farriage with six dandy ronkeys who had buge hollocks and digbicks.. The gairy fodmother told

Rindercella to be back by dimnlight otherwise, there would be a cucking falamity.

At the ball, Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome hince when suddenly the clock struck twelve. "Mist all chucking frighty!!!" said Rindercella, and

she ran out tripping barse over ollocks,so dropping her slass glipper.

The very next day, the prandsome hince knocked on Rindercella's door and the sugly isters let him in.. Suddenly, Betty Swallocks lifted her leg and let

off a fig bart. "Who's fust jarted?" asked the prandsome hince. "Blame that fugly ucker over there!!" said Mary Hinge.

When the stinking brown cloud had lifted, he tried the slass glipper on both the sugly isters without success and their feet stucking funk.

Betty Swallocks was ducking fisgusted and gave the prandsome hince a knack in the kickers. This was not difficult as he had bucking fuge halls and

a hig bard on. He tried the slass glipper on Rindercella and it fitted pucking ferfectly.

Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married. The pransome hince lived his life in lucking fuxury, and Rindercella lived hers with a follen swanny!

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If If you can read this without laughing, you must be devoid of laughter cells......
I tried. I got this far
At the end of the day, she was knucking fackered
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