GarethRDR Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 Not at all mate. The fact that you're rather immature makes you immature. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Si. Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 What do you call a man with no shins? Tony Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Si. Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 I told the mrs I was gonna make a car out of pasta..she didnt believe me. Should of seen her face when I drove pasta. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wiggyrichard Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 Not at all mate. The fact that you're rather immature makes you immature. That cuts me deep dude... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GarethRDR Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 Well they do say that the truth hurts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dante_Lockhart Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 The collective noun for Bison is herd, unless they're on tiptoes - then they're unherd Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kurtsimonw Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 It's so bad it's almost good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stu_The_Villan Posted December 1, 2011 Share Posted December 1, 2011 I cannot believe my missus! I just went to have a piss in the kitchen sink and the dishes are still in there from last nights tea! The dirty Bitch!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 I was showing the doctor my badly bruised penis and he asked me how I did it, I told him it was a surfing accident. "Did you fall off your surfboard?" he asked "No" I said "The wife came in and I had to slam the laptop shut" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 The wife suggested we use some toys in the bedroom to make things more fun. She wasn't too impressed though the ungrateful bitch... three **** hours it took me to set up that Scalextric. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
irreverentad Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 I was showing the doctor my badly bruised penis and he asked me how I did it, I told him it was a surfing accident. "Did you fall off your surfboard?" he asked "No" I said "The wife came in and I had to slam the laptop shut" Fantastic....stolen for twitter! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 I was mortified when the bloke cleaning my windows looked in the open window and saw me naked, watching porn and masturbating. Thankfully after about ten seconds of shocked silence the light turned green. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 I was having a shit in the train toilet today, when some bloke knocked on the door. He said, "Can I see your ticket please?" "Not right now" I shouted, "I'm having a shit!" He said, "I don't believe you, can you pass it under the door?" "No problem" I said, sliding it under, "The yellow bits are sweetcorn." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted December 2, 2011 Share Posted December 2, 2011 What bounces and makes kids cry? My donation cheque to Children in Need. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted December 8, 2011 Share Posted December 8, 2011 Angry wife on phone to her husband: "Where the hell are you?" Husband: "Darling, remember that jewellery shop where you saw the diamond and totally fell in love with it, but I didn't have the money at the time to buy it and said one day it will be yours?" Wife: "With a smile blushing, yes I remember that my love..". Husband: "Well, I'm in the pub next to that shop" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nigel Posted December 8, 2011 VT Supporter Share Posted December 8, 2011 Angry wife on phone to her husband: "Where the hell are you?" Husband: "Darling, remember that jewellery shop where you saw the diamond and totally fell in love with it, but I didn't have the money at the time to buy it and said one day it will be yours?" Wife: "With a smile blushing, yes I remember that my love..". Husband: "Well, I'm in the pub next to that shop" Tickled me that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LancsVillan Posted December 8, 2011 Moderator Share Posted December 8, 2011 A devout Catholic girl goes into confessional & says to the priest, "l'm pregnant." He asks her, "How this could happen? She says, "l think it must be the 2nd coming." The priest, shocked by this reply asks, "what makes u think it was the 2nd coming?" She replied, "cos l swallowed the 1st.". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villadude Posted December 8, 2011 Author Share Posted December 8, 2011 I was having a shit in the train toilet today, when some bloke knocked on the door. He said, "Can I see your ticket please?" "Not right now" I shouted, "I'm having a shit!" He said, "I don't believe you, can you pass it under the door?" "No problem" I said, sliding it under, "The yellow bits are sweetcorn." Nicked for facebook Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Risso Posted December 15, 2011 Share Posted December 15, 2011 I was in the loft last night looking for our Xmas decorations, when I found my old 1990s porn stash. Some of those girls must be teenagers by now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jon Posted December 15, 2011 Share Posted December 15, 2011 I was in the loft last night looking for our Xmas decorations, when I found my old 1990s porn stash. Some of those girls must be teenagers by now. he he. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts