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The banker loving, baby-eating Tory party thread (regenerated)


blandy

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You’ll all remember the govt announcing bike repair vouchers back in April. Then in May, saying the scheme would be up and running in June. Then in June saying it would be with us in 2 weeks.

Well the website finally went live this morning. It’s crashed right now, but y’know, for 25 minutes there on 29th July it was up and running.

Credit where credit is due.

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2 minutes ago, chrisp65 said:

You’ll all remember the govt announcing bike repair vouchers back in April. Then in May, saying the scheme would be up and running in June. Then in June saying it would be with us in 2 weeks.

Well the website finally went live this morning. It’s crashed right now, but y’know, for 25 minutes there on 29th July it was up and running.

Credit where credit is due.

Well to be fair, they diverted all their energies into the excellent Track and trace app that they rightly said would be a key part of the fight against corolla fungus and to make it available by the 1st June. So at least we can console ourselves that having such an effective app has helped us stay safe and well and able to now not take advantage of this bike repair scheme.

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1 hour ago, blandy said:

Well to be fair, they diverted all their energies into the excellent Track and trace app that they rightly said would be a key part of the fight against corolla fungus and to make it available by the 1st June. So at least we can console ourselves that having such an effective app has helped us stay safe and well and able to now not take advantage of this bike repair scheme.

World-leading, they are

It's just that they didn't explain that these things would be world-leading in their shitness.

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1 hour ago, snowychap said:

they didn't explain that these things would be world-leading in their shitness

But we'll get a great Brexit deal. Cake and eat it. Yum, lovely Tory cake.

Capture.PNG

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46 minutes ago, blandy said:

But we'll get a great Brexit deal. Cake and eat it. Yum, lovely Tory cake.

Capture.PNG

it's great that now we've left we can have orange colouring in our food again

 

 

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Any early thoughts on the possibles for the 'face of No. 10' job?

Could they go full Trump with one of:

Tom Harwood

Chloe Westley (though she's already fully part of the No 10 machine)

Isobel Oakeshott

Allison Pearson?

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28 minutes ago, snowychap said:

Any early thoughts on the possibles for the 'face of No. 10' job?

Could they go full Trump with one of:

Tom Harwood

Chloe Westley (though she's already fully part of the No 10 machine)

Isobel Oakeshott

Allison Pearson?

Kuenssberg, but wouldn’t take the wage drop I don’t think. 

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32 minutes ago, snowychap said:

Any early thoughts on the possibles for the 'face of No. 10' job?

Doing the job already, might as well make it official. 

EKacAUVXsAAlc39.jpg

 

Edit: I reckon two posts counts as consensus. 

Edited by ml1dch
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22 minutes ago, Seat68 said:

Kuenssberg, but wouldn’t take the wage drop I don’t think. 

 

21 minutes ago, ml1dch said:

Doing the job already, might as well make it official. 

[Kuenssberg pic]

 

20 minutes ago, Chindie said:

Kuenssberg does the job unofficially anyway...

I think there's more likelihood of Piers Morgan doing it than Keunssberg - if we're being serious (and yes, to some extent I was being serious with the names I put forward).

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9 minutes ago, snowychap said:

 

 

I think there's more likelihood of Piers Morgan doing it than Keunssberg - if we're being serious (and yes, to some extent I was being serious with the names I put forward).

I see a point where she will be working for the Conservatives but this position would not be the right one. 

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1 minute ago, Seat68 said:

I see a point where she will be working for the Conservatives but this position would not be the right one. 

I agree.

Then again I could well be wrong when they come to announce the sucker, sorry, winner in the autumn.

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23 minutes ago, snowychap said:

I agree.

Then again I could well be wrong when they come to announce the sucker, sorry, winner in the autumn.

Favourite is Allegra Stratton. Four years at Newsnight, four years in charge of ITV News, quit earlier this year to be Director of Comms. for Rishi Sunak and married to none-more-in-the-Government-loop journalist James Forsyth.

Pretty much the perfect CV for their Reichsministerium für Volksaufklärung und Propaganda.

 

Edited by ml1dch
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15 hours ago, ml1dch said:

Favourite is Allegra Stratton. Four years at Newsnight, four years in charge of ITV News, quit earlier this year to be Director of Comms for Rishi Sunak

She's doing a very good job. She seems to have done a good job everywhere she's worked. The task of making a coherent case for the incompetent shambles of bluffers, liars, grabbers and effwits running, or should that be ruining, the Country is likely to be beyond the abilities of mortals, even someone as smart and capable as she appears to be.

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3 hours ago, Chindie said:

The Tory party needs to address it's problem with sex offenders etc etc

To be fair, it seems that one of them did, according to the Grauniad article:

Quote

...

Evidence was also given by the former Conservative deputy chief whip, Anne Milton, who told the court that the young woman had been “acutely aware that if she made a formal complaint she would never get another job in parliament because of gossip”.

Milton was put in touch with the woman by another Tory MP at the time, Margot James. Milton interviewed Elphicke alongside the then chief whip, Julian Smith, and ultimately called Scotland Yard.

Though that might make the reinstatement of the whip even dodgier and murkier, given that one of their whips appears to be the person who thought there was enough in it to report him to the police.

Edited by snowychap
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