Five Ken McNaughts

Despite being 6’2”, he never jumps to win a header, just to do a (bad) impression of someone trying to win a header. I agree with Tim Cahill and many of the comments here – that streak of physical trepidation seemed to really mess him up with that simple chance. Needed to say to himself: “This ball is going in the net and, if need be, I am going in the net and Jordan Pickford is going in the net.” Didn’t quite have it in him.

Just remembered a strange moment when McGinn placed the ball down as if to take a quick free kick in the first half. Kouyate stood a yard away and went to block the pass to the right, then to the left, then to the right. All McGinn had to do was kick the ball against one of these blocks and Kouyate – Palace’s main enforcer – was looking at an early yellow. Instead he left the ball where it was and jogged away. Infuriating naïvety.

I think the opposite. Would much rather be within two points of West Ham than Watford going into the final day. That way our fate is in our own hands.

I seem to find myself a little more optimistic than most (though only when I focus on the maths and forget our woeful lack of fight). There is little chance of Watford or West Ham getting anything from Man City and Man United. Their only other fixture before the final day is obviously against each other, so that means a very high chance of one or both of them going into the last game in the 34-35 point range, If we can somehow (big word, I know) find two of the ugliest, flukiest wins in the world from Palace, Everton and Arsenal then we would go into the final day on 33 points with a glimmer of hope. Highly improbable, yes, but not impossible, so for now I will cling to that. And I think we will know early on against Palace if there is any fight or the usual resignation in the players’ eyes. I’m going to go crazy and say 1-0 Villa. Luiz screamer. 89th minute.

If John Terry became manager (I really hope not) would he be expected to look happy when Villa score?

At least one prediction about tomorrow’s game is pretty easy to make. At some point the camera will cut to an exasperated Dean Smith trying to get some input from Terry, who will stay silent, avoid eye contact, and carry on chewing his gum with a vaguely bored expression. Inspirational.

With the benefit of hindsight, Purslow’s post play-off interviews must have sounded rather arrogant to all those PL clubs who scrap for mid-table respectability with a mix of gnarly old pros and youngsters from the loan market. We let it be known in no uncertain terms that we looked down on that model. Perhaps we should have been watching and learning rather than pontificating. One way or another, I imagine there’ll be a bit more humility this summer.

I didn’t think a podcast after a 3-0 defeat could make me smile so much, but “For The Love of Paul McGrath” managed it. 15 minutes of nails being hit squarely on the head. Love it (best one out there IMO).

Well, I don’t know about you guys, but I’m going to be doing a spinning jump kick into the first guy I pass on the High Street tomorrow. If Jon Moss and Graham Scott are on the jury, that’ll be an assault conviction for my victim – even though he was standing perfectly still – and a shitload of compo for me. Winner winner chicken dinner.

I like your overview there, @tonyh29, though I can see those remaining defenders being a reasonable unit at Championship level without too much extra investment. Full-backs of Guilbert and Targett then a centre-back pairing from Hause / Engels / Konsa. Even if we signed no-one else, that looks stronger than the start of our last season down there (Hutton - Chester - Jedinak - Taylor).

Get him involved. We have seen team-mates respond to his non-stop energy. We need some of that.

Gotta love the sheer madness of the idea that all these overpriced, under-skilled players are magically going to increase in value by virtue of being “young”. Ain’t running a football club easy, eh? Oops! Nosediving towards the Championship and massive cut-price fire sale on the way. So that went well.

Uncle Albert was at least half decent at crossing when he could be bothered. Trez is... umm... nope... wait... Good social media following in Egypt?... Is that it?... His best attribute?... Okay. Brill.

Thought his control and link-up play was reliable as ever. Won free-kicks, played a key part in our best move (that ended with a powderpuff Hourihane shot being blocked). Yes, it was almost always with his back to goal – i don’t know how much that is him and how much is the system – but those few players who got a tick for at least “trying” today are not going to get too much criticism from me.

“Hope”... “What if”... “Just imagine”... Pretty much all I hear myself saying pre-match these days. I pump myself up with podcasters from the UK, Ireland, America, Canada, then watch a bunch of players go out there like playing for Villa is just one massive inconvenience to whatever else they had planned today. Are they aware of how many people around the world are counting on them to CARE? Absolutely sick of the spineless lot of them. And, if I can add one further gripe, can we please replace our branding gurus with someone who understands that the club’s colours are CLARET & BLUE??? We are playing in a stadium bedecked in banners that are... what is it?... maroon and bluish-white? Meanwhile the fans’ flags are hidden beneath the TV gantry. Genius!

Doherty not even checking on Nakamba after nearly knocking him out. Total lack of class there, fella.

Just been watching a nice little slo-mo of the first half penalty claim involving El Ghazi (am I allowed to mention a Twitter account on here? Someone called Beard Of The Match). Absolute stonewall pen. The challenge is so clumsy, their man actually manages to connect with El Ghazi’s right calf, then right thigh, then right hip – all while getting nowhere near the ball. Zero interest from the ref, VAR or Sky.

I like the look of that (preferably with Luiz and Guilbert if fit). If Davis or Samatta runs themselves into the ground then bring on Vassilev to keep the energy levels up.

Like @danceoftheshamen alluded to a little earlier, I think that Mings shirt pull would have played out very differently in front of a packed Holte End, the crowd erupting, the players picking up on the energy to badger the ref, the VAR booth feeling compelled to study the incident properly etc. As it was, the whole thing passed off without so much as a murmur from anyone – very disappointing. Much as I admire gentlemanly conduct, we are in a dogfight and the players need to start making themselves a pain in the backside about these moments. No doubt in my mind it’s a foul according to the letter of the law (the ball is in play and Mings is being dragged to the ground). It’s also exactly the sort of grappling that VAR used to routinely penalise before it became obsessed with shoulders, knees and toes. As for the “he wouldn’t have reached it” point – remember when Chris Wood laid a hand on John O’Shea’s shoulder as a looping ball bounced into the Leicester net? Both of them miles from the ball but VAR was happy to rule a foul against Wood after O’Shea did his little swallow dive. In general, I think we need to get a bit cannier around the psychology of this VAR soap opera we are stuck with.

Random observation that really got my back up... Why is it that when El Ghazi is kicked in the box, and Villa players ask Michael Oliver to check with VAR, that he has to screw his face up and run off shouting “Get out of it”? Back when VAR was introduced at the last World Cup, the refs would always just make a placatory gesture, put a finger to their ear and say “Don’t worry. It’s being checked”. Oliver’s behaviour is clearly giving a steer to the underlings in the booth who aren’t going to undermine his little display of authority. The upshot is we never even see a replay and are told within five seconds that the appeal has been summarily dismissed (how many available angles did they check in that time? No more than one – briefly – that’s for sure). It might seem petty to mention after the reprieve we got a bit later, but to me it’s just one more example of crap VAR usage and poor Premier League officiating.

“These are not the droids you are looking for...”

Oh well. Makes up for neither the ref nor VAR giving two hoots when El Ghazi was kicked in the shin in the box.

The free kick that led to the ghost goal all stemmed from Konsa deciding a defensive throw-in was better than keeping the ball in and using his feet. No-one near him. Terrible decision making.

Something about the total unexpectedness of that line-up has got me full of even more nervous energy. Wouldn’t be at all surprised if this ended 3-0 to us or 3-0 to them. Just going to grab a beer and buckle up. And COME ON, KEINAN!!!

Oh dear, Conor. Once might be careless, twice is a pattern. Taking on the – quite obvious – role of agent provocateur (some might say puppet) to grease a few wheels for Jack's people or some mutual agent is not a good look. Would be far better served keeping his trap shut and focusing on his own game, which has hardly set the Premier League alight.