Five Ken McNaughts

Thanks for indulging all my howling at the moon, @kidlewis, @Tommo_b and @Phil Silvers. You have helped me get my blood pressure down a bit (in time for the Newcastle game...). Anyway, just to put the tin lid on this campaign of misinformation that the PL and media have been running since Wednesday, I thought I would post one more time (I promise). It’s about this supposed law amendment. Some change of wording that is meant to be the official explanation for the goal. We’ve all seen it wheeled out all over the place: BT, MOTD, Sky Sports, social media... ”A player in an offside position receiving the ball from an opponent who deliberately plays the ball is not considered to have gained an advantage.” Now, like I said in a previous post, a quick check of IFAB updates was enough to tell me there has been no such “amendment” in recent years. But here’s where the con gets REALLY cunning... That phrase is part of a paragraph that CONTAINS AN UNRELATED AMENDMENT for this season. The phrase itself is not an amendment at all! And yet we are being sold the phrase as the amendment itself (AND being told the very same by every ex-ref willing to sell his integrity to the highest bidder). Amazing! Here is a screenshot from the IFAB app to demonstrate (I tried to figure out Flickr in order to embed it here so hopefully it works): You see? As so many people suspected, there simply is no “new” law / amendment whatever relating to the Rodri situation. None. So if the phrase being trotted out is actually nothing new, just how long has that exact phrase (about receiving the ball / deliberately plays) been a part of Law 11? Well, doing nothing more complex than typing it word for word into Google, I see it in 2020, 2019, 2018, 2017, 2016, 2015, 2014... I’m sure it would carry on if I kept looking. So there you have it. Everything we have been told since Wednesday night is nothing but a botched cover-up using the very worst of post-truth tactics. What a disgrace.

Going by the Offside Law on the official IFAB app (which has actually been really helpful during all this – if only to prove that Rodri was indeed offside) an exception is made for a “save”. Even though it is deliberately playing the ball it does not render the attacking player onside. So that’s comforting, I guess. On another note, the only update to the offside law in 20/21 is clearly marked by IFAB. It is something to do with how a striker can now be played onside if he receives the ball after a deliberate handball by a defender (obviously irrelevant here). Googling the IFAB law changes PDF for 19/20 shows there were no offside changes that season. Doing the same for 18/19 shows just one clarification (again, irrelevant here – it says the moment a ball is “played” should be determined by the the initial point of contact with the ball, rather than the moment the ball leaves the boot / head etc.). So, unless I’m missing something here, there has been NO LAW CHANGE in recent years that pertains to the situation on Wednesday. Yet all I am constantly hearing from the media talking heads is this stuff about the goal being allowed because of a new law or a new amendment... What new law? What new amendment? Going by IFAB’s very own published laws and updates, all that has happened is an on the hoof re-imagining / redefining of an existing and long established law. Nope, as far as I can see this is one big con and we’re all being taken for fools.

Yep. Big time. Still simmering here. In fact, it is one of those situations that is making me think I should really stop caring so much about this stuff and focus on the things I can control in life. But until then... I don’t think anyone at the Premier League has any idea of the officiating chaos they have just unleashed. The hand grenade they have just lobbed towards amateur refs up and down the country trying to keep control of junior and Sunday League football (when it returns). The PL, PGMOL and all their media mouthpieces may see themselves as demi-gods, but you can’t just redefine “RECEIVING the ball” in Law 11 to include “TAKING the ball” and expect everything to carry on as normal. I mean, just picture the classic scenario that we have all seen a million times - a striker makes his run too soon, a midfielder plays the through-ball too late, a defender intercepts... Prior to Wednesday, we were able to say exactly what happens next - the striker jogs to a halt, maybe has a whinge at his teammate, and the defender looks up for where to play the pass. Well, not any more, apparently. According to the new interpretation... magicked into life for the sole purpose of allowing a dodgy goal then backed up and approved in all official quarters... that totally offside striker can turn around, hook the ball away from the defender, run on and score. W....T....F???? Has everyone taken leave of their senses??? Imagine the reaction to that happening in a packed stadium rather than in front of cavernous empty stands. All hell would break loose! As indeed it will for every poor Sunday League ref no matter what version of the law they now enforce (the one used in every scenario prior to Wednesday or the new “stated case”). Either way, they’ll get it in the neck from one touchline or the other. In fact, let’s take this to its natural conclusion. There is no need for a striker to EVER come back onside. Literally! Any pacy striker can simply prowl up and down at the defenders’ backs, waiting for anyone to take a touch, then swoop over their shoulder, nick the ball and they’re away. Where’s the offence? Now there is none! The defender has “played the ball” (now meaning controlled) and the striker has “received the ball” (now meaning taken). God almighty,. What fresh madness is this?? As for the argument, if it can even be made, that this nonsense is how the offside law was always meant to be interpreted, well, there are two perfectly simple ripostes to that: 1. Where were all these voices that now agree with the “Rodri interpretation” on the 57 trillion occasions when a player in that situation was flagged offisde? (Answer: Nowhere). 2. Do you really think that a governing body that has made numerous rule tweaks to encourage a passing game (goalies having to play backpasses with their feet, goal kicks allowed to be taken short inside the box...) would want some law that means every defender now has to welly the ball with their first touch to avoid being mugged? (Answer: Nope) Honestly, we are only at the beginning of this new mayhem. I would go so far as to say that in order to avoid saying “we made a mistake” on Wednesday... (Google translate: “We wanted our global market show ponies to score”)... the football authorities have near enough invented a new sport. My only consolation is that every gloating Man City fan and controlled ex-ref that has been rubbing Villa’s noses in it for the past 48 hours (for “not knowing” a law that was invented after 78 minutes of Villa’s 16th game of the 20/21 season) has made a massive rod for their own back. It will come back to haunt them. Me, I am happy to be one of those whose position was clear from the outset: That decision is NOT justifiable in the written laws of the game / You cannot tell me words mean the OPPOSITE of what they do when it suits you / It’s all BOL**CKS.

Rodri never receives the ball from Tyrone Mings. He dispossesses him.

Yep. Read this seconds after hearing Dermot Gallagher say the decision was correct because Mings had “taken ownership of the ball”. Once again, just more layers of vaguely official sounding nonsense. The whole purpose seems to be to shroud the entire blunder in as much smoke and mirrors as possible.

Gary Lineker and Match of the Day throwing their weight behind this entirely irrelevant law about an attacker “receiving the ball” from a defender who “deliberately plays the ball”. Yep, the law we all know about blind backpasses being wheeled out once again to sweep this blatant injustice under the carpet. Talk about the media and PL presenting a united front. The small matter of the pertinent law (about an offside player interfering with a defender) safely consigned to the Orwellian memory hole. I give up.

(A recording of BT’s off-cam comms after the final whistle...) “Christ, this is turning into an absolute shitshow. Does no-one understand the meaning of ‘under the radar’ any more?? Right, put me through to Peter’s earpiece... Peter? PETER??” “Hello, former Premier League referee Peter Walton spea–.” “Peter, you tit! Why did you say you had no idea why that goal was allowed during the live broadcast?” “Oh, right. You’re angry. Ummm... Because Rodri was twenty yards offside when the ball was played, then came up behind Tyrone Mings and tackled him?” “Yada yada yada. What the hell has gotten into you lately? Look, I’m sending through a completely unrelated law.” “Oh right.” “It’s some shit to do with when a defender plays a backpass without looking. We all know that’s not offside, right? ‘Plays the ball’... ‘Receives the ball’... Whatever. Twitter will lap it up.” “But that has nothing to do with this situa–“ “Helloooo??? Peterrrrr!!!! Anyone home??? Of course it doesn’t! Just f**ing read it out when it appears on the screen. I’ve already spoken to the other bell-ends in the studio and they’re all gonna back you up.” “So I change my opinion 100 percent?” “We’re on in ten seconds, Peter...” “This is so embarrassing.” “You signed the f**ing contract. 5,4,3... and live.”

Was feeling angry just looking at it. Then I went and read the self-serving “apology” from Bocanegra at the time and it made me even madder. What a piece of work. “I would like to say to Mark in public that I am sorry.” "There was no intent whatsoever, I was going for the ball. I just hope Delaney will heal quickly." http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/shared/img/o.gif http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/teams/f/fulham/3482535.stm

Speaking with the benefit of hindsight, I wouldn’t have wanted Liverpool to change anything about their line-up. David v Goliath captures the imagination in a totally unique way. David v Goliath Reserves, not so much. Our club has benefited in so many ways from that game. A whole ton of positive press. An unprecedented boost in name recognition (probably even player value for some). And, most importantly, the priceless element of knowing you were watching boys become men before your very eyes. It’s easy – now – to forget that sinking “Uh oh!” feeling after 3 minutes. Must have felt a million times worse for the guys on the pitch, I imagine. Proper first round knockdown stuff. But to get off the canvas, claw your way back into the contest, then actually put the world champ on his backside before finally tiring... Wow! That is learning something about yourself that no amount of coaching and loan moves could ever replicate. Honestly I feel as if, in the strangest circumstances, we just hit fast forward on this club’s future last night. What a truly weird and amazing moment.

I was trying to think of a different metric to measure Keinan’s relative worth, or otherwise, to the squad. Something other than the two well-known viewpoints: “His hold-up play is good / He doesn’t score enough goals”. So, focusing purely on what he brings as a sub – since that is realistically his role at Villa – here’s what I came up with. It won’t settle anything, but I found it interesting nonetheless... From the start of last season to now, Davis has come off the bench in 18 Premier League games (ave. just under 17 mins). In those 18 games, Villa have scored after Davis’ introduction in a third (6/18). We have improved our points haul from the game in a sixth (3/18). In 14 of the 18 matches, our points haul has stayed the same. In only 1 of the 18 has our points haul worsened, and that comes with a massive asterisk (Davis came on at 0-0 away to Palace with Villa down to ten men. As none of us can forget, we lost 1-0 thanks to that smirking assassin Kevin Friend). So, like I said, I don’t expect it to change anyone’s mind, but it’s a different way of looking at things and, to me, it doesn’t look too shabby. A net positive for your 17 minutes, I’d say. At the very least enough to address the question: “What’s the point in bringing on Keinan Davis?”

Am I right in thinking it’s five subs in the FA Cup? Should make for an interesting chess match between Smith and Klopp. I like the approach we’ve used in the League Cup a few times where our big guns are given the first 60 or last 30. That shouldn’t exhaust anyone. Also feels better for squad cohesion and morale than totally separate cup and league teams.

You may well be right. But I’m afraid I have gone too far out on this Keinan Davis limb – promising people there is rich fruit at the end – to consider turning back now. I remember texting people after seeing him come on against Brighton in the last game of our first Championship season. (“THIS guy! Kelvin Davies! Remember the name!”). Goal kicks were being taken on the chest à la Benteke, wild passes killed dead with telescopic legs, gnarly old 30-something defenders bouncing off this kid in all directions. The internet still had him at 5’9”, but he was clearly a 6ft-plus unit. Then, of course, there was his magnum opus in the 4-2 against Norwich the following season. A display of authority beyond his years. I suppose, looking back, it was perhaps telling that he did “everything but score.” Later, towards the end of that one long run in the team under Bruce, he was clearly flagging. Those long balls weren’t being pulled out of the sky like before, nothing was quite sticking, he looked jaded, trying too hard. And then the injuries. Then more injuries. And, ever since, just these glimpses of what might have been (all accompanied by an almost inexplicable number of fingertip saves!). So, yep, I know I have long since drifted into the territory of “blinkered” faith. And, along the way, I have had to concede that there seems to be little killer instinct. No fox-in-the-box devil. But I wouldn’t quite call it “blind” faith. There’s something there, I tell you, gosh darn it. Something!!! And this weekend? Perfect hat-trick coming up. This time I can feel it my bones! Left foot, right foot, header. Boom. Yes, Keinan. Yes!!!

I’ve also seen: “If Villa are allowed to get away that quick FK for their goal then it’s definitely a PK for United.” Where to begin??

Really can’t see any reason for Davis to get any stick last night. Only made one error – a miscontrol that fell to a Villa player anyway. Apart from that he made an intelligent run to find space and put a tricky header wide, held off Bailly and saw his cross blocked for a corner, then outmuscled Maguire and reacted fastest to the ball dropping between them (one touch control, right foot to left foot, low hard shot, incredible block by Bailly). In fact, if Davis had been a bit LESS sharp with that final one we could easily have had a penalty as Maguire swung his boot wildly through the airspace where Keinan had already nicked the ball away. If anything, and not for the first time, I think the change of putting Davis down the middle and Watkins out wide could be made sooner when we are trailing and need to try something different.

I’ll forgive Darren Bent for turning up dressed as Toad of Toad Hall, but becoming a wide-eyed Man U fanboy for the evening is a step too far. Isn’t the idea of having an ex-player from each team to get two points of view? Doesn’t really work when one guy is leaping out of his chair to say “I agree!”. Still, at least he will have left the studio with Andy Cole’s autograph and a great story to tell his friends about his big day out as a Man U mascot.

What a performance! What an utter man mountain! Hats off to @Delphinho123 and all those who backed him on here. Got my MOTM vote today. And to think he was £77m cheaper than Harry Maguire... Wow.

3-0 in the Kevin Friend derby! HAPPY CHRISTMAS!!!

Cometh the hour, cometh the 10 men!! GET IN!!!

Does Ben Mee actually have diplomatic immunity or just naked photos of every Premier League ref? Scythes down Grealish in full flight, raises his boot to Watkins’ chin (to smash the ball into his face), then goes back in to nail Jack’s ankle because, hey, why the hell not when you can do what you like with impunity??? Poulsen never even has a “quiet word” with him – let alone going to his pocket. Heaven forbid! This is Ben “played the ball” Mee, after all!! Can someone PLEASE add Neil Cutler to the January squad list with the sole task of playing one jaw-droppingly brutal minute at Turf Moor. I will then officially count this season as a success, no matter what else happens.

Inexplicable decision that. Total brain fart from Smith.

Come on, guys. It’s not all doom and gloom. A lot of players with a massive opportunity there, all of whom have had decent games in a Villa shirt at one time or another. I’m still feeling positive about this. (But none of that dragging it back onto your left, please, Jack! Come inside, gain the half yard, smash it...).

Mané throws himself down because he feels a nudge from... Firmino. Firmino throws himself down because he just doesn’t want to be left out. Modern football. Wow.

Crystal Palace fans booing Kevin Friend. Such sweet irony.

One of the downsides of no instant replays. Would have liked to see that again. Certainly looked like the studs were up.

The penalty at the end was at least some justice after that blatant handball by Saiss. Hilarious how many times the pundits managed to say he was “doing all he could to get his arm out of the way” while watching images of him doing the exact opposite. Honestly, you have to wonder what goes through their minds (or earpieces) sometimes. Saiss rushed out to cover Konsa, Ramsey played the ball behind him, Saiss tried to cover it with a clumsy header but made quite sure the ball wasn’t going past him by sticking his elbow out like a teapot impression. You can even compare it to his right arm (flat against his body) to see exactly what he was doing. How is it even a difficult decision??? And as for VAR’s official reason that it hit him in the “green zone”, well, where to start with that utter nonsense? Apart from with 1. It didn’t. 2. Stop lying. Anyway, great stuff from McGinn and El Ghazi to right the wrong. Thank goodness.