lapal_fan

I imagine the cucumber up your arse was pretty uncomfortable too.

I was pleading not to concede from that corner, I knew we'd give something soft away. Oh well, at least Unai can give them something to think about. Next goal is important.

I'll have 2 shandies max if driving, which depending on the pub, is either 1/2 pint total, or 1.25 pints total. It's very rarely the latter, the robbing bastards.

This Roma Vs Fey game has been a tough watch. Lukaku who's been on for an age missed his pen. Ooh, Nord player missed theirs too.

You can't take a foul, you can take a free kick, throw in, corner or penalty. Emi can take a goal kick. Pau Torres can take the piss (put of oncoming strikers and make them look stupid). A typical example would be Jack Grealish can "draw a foul", it means you're shielding the ball or using it in such a way that you're ensuring contact with the player results in him getting a foul. Basically if you have the ball, you're looking to get a free kick. A ref can give a foul, because a tackle has been attempted but the ball wasn't touched, but the player was, halting their progress. A ref can give a yellow if he thinks the foul was bad enough or the player has been persistently fouling (accumulating fouls). "Winning" can be used a bit like "drawing" - a player can "win a foul". I don't think you can say "the player has won a yellow" because no-one wants a yellow. You can "win" a penalty too, but usually it would be said that the penalty has been "awarded" to a team as a result of the punishment given to the other team.

Can someone explain how a council can go bust, and explain it like you would to a 5 year old? Y'know.. so @Paddywhack could understand.. Surely a council is only as rich as central government investment and tax generation allows. What is Bham council doing that say, Dudley or Manchester council aren't? I also heard Windsor and Slough councils are going to the wall.

@Stevo985 quotes everyone because the big knobhead posts more than everyone else. Stop being so sensitive, you big wuss.

That's the biggest issue this season for me, Man Utd are objectively shit. They have half decent players who give "a moment of magic", but holistically looking at them, they're proper cack. City, Arsenal, Spuds, Us, Liverpool and even Chelsea have an identity and a way of playing. This lot do the bare minimum and get lots of decisions go their way, plus they "just about hang on" then sucker punch for a shit win. I mean.. fair play that they get away with it this often.. there must be a skill in it somewhere. But if they get to Europe, they won't do anything in it because they'll canter to the knockouts and get beat by the first competent team they face.

And then I started playing football!!! ... Is that right?

I broke your wrist with a power shot at Goals At least you've experienced some pain.

Sad to see Aaron Ramsey go off on a stretcher today, following a fairly innocuous challenge by Oodegard. Hope it isn't as bad as it looked when he went off chuffing on O2.

You need to seek help, immediately. Don't accept a referral, demand something be done. If you're going "oh.. ok then" the person on the line is probably prioritising someone else they're on the phone to sounding much more desperate. It's going to be the same as A&E, who you going to rush through the door? The guy moaning about his hand he hurt playing football, or someone with chest pain? It's not the right system, but it's the one we have, I suggest you play the game. I don't understand what you're going through, because I find the world a beautiful and fulfilling place, full of wonder and interesting things (minus @sidcow). We're all one in a trillion, we're all incredibly lucky to be here, but life is to a point what you make of it. Surround yourself with positivity if possible. Cut out the shit, leave the "downers" and make sensible decisions on the things you CAN control. I'm assuming you have Agoraphobia, I'm sure that's shit and I'm sorry you're experiencing it. You spoken to anyone about it? Gone online to find help? Joined a community who might understand what you're going through and maybe suggesting things to make it slightly less shit, so you can walk a minute up the road? Do things you find happiness in. You seem to have hobbies. I know there's a massive toy fare (fair?) Coming up at the NEC, you going? If not? Why not? It'd be right up your street. Sounds like you could pick up a paint brush or pencil and do some art too. I'm sure your inner mind would bring to life some really interesting things. This is total guess work, and as you mentioned in your irony filled post, you probably won't even register this, but you're a bright, intelligent person who can't leave his own house without losing your shit. It's kind of.. not surprising you're depressed. I work from home and unless I go out, I often feel shit. So start at the start and rather than trying to "get better", try to do the little things you can do which help. Anecdotally, I play a lot of ps5 and play battlefield and have done for 15 years. A guy I've played with since bf3 came out (in 2010?) hadn't been online much at all lately. He came on the other day, I had a chat with him and he told me he nearly took his own life after some small skin issues became a real point of depression. I just sat on the other side of a headset and listened to someone telling me some deeply private stuff.. the skin stuff was just the tipping point to lots of other stuff, but I was glad to hear he was in a much better place mentally. He's not out of the clear, but he's made the effort to approach his issues with professionals and fair play to him. Good luck to you.

Broke my leg in 3 places because I was having a piggy back on my brother and I shouted "YEE HAW!" and pulled back on his neck to impress a girl, he landed on me and i broke it in 3 places, two fibia, one tibia or vice versa. I was 7. Broke a rib fighting with my brother over the last piece of my birthday carrot cake. I was 24, he was 30. He won.. Snapped my ACL when flying a stunt kite in some shit Northern Welsh town near a Haven or pontins or summat. My feet were buried in sand and one of the two kite cables snappe and it twisted my knee. I tried to play football on it 2 hours later - LOL bad mistake. I tore my hamstring jumping for a volley at 7 a side, no-one near me and my hamstring rolled up my leg into my arse and I had to drive to the hospital. Every time I had to change gear, it was agony. Twisted my testicle when getting out of the car when I was 10, that was pretty nasty. Few stitches here and there falling when skating on quads 8-12. All pretty standard.

Hang on.. he's not the CEO is he? Ah, shit man. The president-of-business-operations-at-villa, sucks cocks. Etc.

To the tune of he's got the whole world in his hands; The C-E-O of Villa, sucks cocks, The C-E-O of Villa, sucks cocks, The C-E-O of Villa, sucks cock, Chris Heck sucks diccccckkks.

My knee has literally exploded with this good news. Ouch.

If he's shit on the pitch (and God knows I wanted him to be great), could he just bitch slap Heck out of his CEO thing and do that?

Not going to jump to conclusions, but I've read through it and noticed the following; - I don't know who wrote it, but it's not brilliantly typed up, there are a few mistakes you'd not expect from a proof read piece. - the subject matter is very emotive and you'd hope it's not true, because the business practices taken are really poor (and American "firing without notice" etc). - the crest stuff sounds plausible. The tie photo thing with the "new new" badge should be easily proven as there will be photos somewhere. - it comes as no surprise that the FAB is undermined, I think most clubs engage with fans begrudgingly. But yea, interesting to see what the club comes out with. The high risk stuff is employing Chris Heck and him onboarding a bunch of pals and dishing out contracts to companies he's been involved with. That's all going to be fun if we can prove it (law wise).

Within the 6 miles, you can have 6 lots of 2 mins not running? Not the clearest of language is it?

Genuinely sorry to hear you (and more importantly, your daughter) are going through this. As long as she is happy (as she can be, given her struggles in and out of hospitals), that's the main thing

Chris Heck needs to invest in some bastard knee braces next season! Or, we tell our players they can only run in straight lines.

At the end of the day, we lack a couple of key things; - we often have to create numerous chances to score - we play in a way which means teams are now happy to sit back, watch us create numerous chances knowing we don't score a high % of them, but know they'll get 4/5/6 decent chances on the counter. The better the team we play, the more likely they'll score from those counters (man united, Chelsea and Newcastle are dangerous on counters, and look what's happened). - we appear to only have the one way to play, which is the most concerning thing to me. It doesn't feel as though we're mixing it up against different opponents. It's a good way to play (dominating the ball), but we can and do get egg on our faces on occasions. - I absolutely hate Man United, they've been a laughing stock all season, won about 9 games when they were absolutely shocking and still beat us home and away (also we're the first top 9 team Ten Slag has beaten.. another record). - I'm still overjoyed at the current season so far, and would have given anything for it. I just hope the players can pick themselves up and get some points on the board, because they deserve some kind of Europe next year.

Another game lost because of moments. We've had ours and not taken the chances, they've had about 4, and taken 2.