Funny Pissy Pants Housemate

[YLN]

I might have mentioned before that I'd gotten a housemate to move into the spare room in my father's apartment. Aside from a few initial teething problems, i.e. him never having money for take aways and then never paying me back for them, we've gotten on quite well. New development. The guy has gone home to Canada for the summer. My father and his girlfriend stayed in his room a couple of times since he left. Anyway it seems he has wet the bed. Perhaps on more than one occasion as there are multiple spots. My father assures me that this is the case. It's an expensive mattress, as it was my bed originally, but I moved into the other room when he moved in. Now it has multiple piss stains on it, smell accompanying. So they flipped the mattress and have stuck a rubber sheet on the bed to prevent further damage. So he's back from Canada in a couple of weeks. He has a number of health problems and I'm guessing when he gets drunk he has extra problems, incontinence seemingly one of them. I don't want to bring it up, but there's an unexplained rubber sheet on the bed, so it might come up at breakfast... If I pissed on someone's mattress I don't know if I'd mention it either. What if he asks about the rubber sheet and then denies having pissed the bed. He's 30. Not great for the street cred. I'd probably deny it as well. Deny deny deny. I didn't piss the bed and I'm pretty sure no one who has slept in the bed with me has pissed the bed. Any ideas on how to handle this?

[Guest]

Best topic title ever?

[Shillzz]

Perhaps the best way is not to raise the issue directly as "have you pissed the bed?", but something more along the lines of "We noticed that your mattress will probably need replacing when you're done with it, please can you cover the cost of getting a new one?".

[villarule123]

Tell him to pay up for all his takeaways or you'll tell the world he pisses the bed

[CrackpotForeigner]

Simply wire opposite corners of the bed to a 12V battery. When you hear screams you have caught him in the act, and can take it from there.

[turnbull]

Simply wire opposite corners of the bed to a 12V battery. When you hear screams you have caught him in the act, and can take it from there.

I'd go for 24v at least!!

[Shillzz]

Or if you decide not to do anything, then perhaps you too could piss on the bed. It won't achieve anything, but it's the perfect opportunity to pee on someone elses bed without any recourse.

 

Not an opportunity to be missed.

[CrackpotForeigner]

 

Simply wire opposite corners of the bed to a 12V battery. When you hear screams you have caught him in the act, and can take it from there.

I'd go for 24v at least!!

 

 

I bow to your apparent expertise

[Stevo985]

Blame your dad.

 

Tell him your dad stayed in the room a couple of nights and he made the bed so whatever sheet he put on is down to him...

[Xann]

Put the mattress in the front garden, douse it with petrol.

 

Set light to it when he's coming up the garden path.

 

Tell him if he does it again you'll be dousing him with petrol.

 

Spit on the floor.

 

[Risso]

Leave him a pack of Huggies Pull Ups at the end of the bed.

[AVFCforever1991]

[Voinjama]

Wetting the bed when you are in double figures is just embarassing. I haven't wet the bed since I was about 9. Anyway be honest and confront him about it, I would be pissed off (pun intended) if someone had done that to my mattress.

 

Incidentally has anyone read Paul Merson's memoirs. Tony Adams stayed over at Merson's house after a night out. Guess what, he wet the bed, a fully grown man.

Edited August 6, 2013 by Voinjama

[Stevo985]

I don't think people who wet the bed can help it.

 

It's not like they say "Well I'm a fully grown man, I'd better stop wetting the bed"

 

I would imagine it's very much something that they'd love to be able to stop but can't. Ridiculing people for it because they're grown men seems a bit harsh.

[Shillzz]

It's fine Stevo, we know you can't help it 

[Stevo985]

No I actually can help it. I just to it to annoy people

[Voinjama]

It's fine Stevo, we know you can't help it 

:lol:

[Stevo985]

Calm down Voiny.

I know how expelling waste excites you, so the thought of someone you stalk doing it must be hard to handle

[Voinjama]

I only know of one person in their 20s who wets the bed and that's because his uni housemates let the cat out of the bag. They assured me he could help it but when he was pissed he becomes a slob who is too lazy to get out of the bed. Just the thought of it makes me want to wretch.

Edited August 6, 2013 by Voinjama

[Risso]

I don't think people who wet the bed can help it.

 

It's not like they say "Well I'm a fully grown man, I'd better stop wetting the bed"

 

I would imagine it's very much something that they'd love to be able to stop but can't. Ridiculing people for it because they're grown men seems a bit harsh.

 

I'm certain that's the case, but I'm equally sure that there are things people can do to stop themselves ruining other people's furniture if they are so afflicted.