turnbull Posted August 9, 2013 Share Posted August 9, 2013 Aston Old Eds club, sometime in late 1978. At a disco, mate orders 2 bottles of Newcy brown. Barman says "who's carrying you home tonight?" Mate laughs. Mate drinks more and more Newcy browns all night, getting rather p!ssed In fact, very p!ssed. About 11.30 we can't find him. Look in toilets, we're hit by an awful smell and hear a moaning sound from one of cubicles. We look over the top of the door. Similar scenario to post #99, but probably worse as he was covered in sh!t too!! Like good mates, we carried him home..................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndyC Posted August 9, 2013 Share Posted August 9, 2013 After a pub session around 10 of us went back to a mate's house to carry on. Sometime in the early hours the lady of the house burst into the front room going crazy. Somebody had taken a shit in the bath rather than the toilet which was literally only 2ft away from the bath. Nobody owned up and she kicked us all out. To this day nobody knows who did it, all I know is it wasn't me. Funny thing is though is nobody was to drunk to not know the difference between the toilet and the bath. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrackpotForeigner Posted August 9, 2013 Share Posted August 9, 2013 (edited) After a pub session around 10 of us went back to a mate's house to carry on. Sometime in the early hours the lady of the house burst into the front room going crazy. Somebody had taken a shit in the bath rather than the toilet which was literally only 2ft away from the bath. Nobody owned up and she kicked us all out. To this day nobody knows who did it, all I know is it wasn't me. Funny thing is though is nobody was to drunk to not know the difference between the toilet and the bath. ...Years later, one of your mates got married and once visited Mockingbird Franklin's sister's place. It's a small world. Edited August 9, 2013 by CrackpotForeigner 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dont_do_it_doug. Posted August 9, 2013 Share Posted August 9, 2013 I'm with Rob here. I'm well up for a bit of watersports. Not done it as yet, though no doubt some of the things I have done would be considered far more depraved by you nancy boys. I will get round to it... Haven't pissed the bed for a good 7/8 years now (I'm just turning 30) and only a couple of times in adulthood. A mate of mine occasionally likes to piss in closets and wicker baskets, he was once woken by his mom and dad mid flow. He'd chosen their sock drawer as his new victim. I think it's fairly normal no, especially with the beer. It's not like we're evolved to piss into toilets, it's something we have to learn as toddlers. It's no wonder that the subconscious sometimes forgets, especially at moments of inebriation Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brumerican Posted August 9, 2013 Share Posted August 9, 2013 (edited) I remember seeing a TED talk on modern science where a UCLA professor explained that if you haven't pissed the bed as an adult at least once, then you are 83% more likely to develop some form of cancer. New years Eve 2008 was actually a massive relief for me after gaining that knowledge, even though the wife sleeping next to me wasn't best pleased. (Luckily my watch was good to pressures of up to 100ft as well , as Timex Indiglo's are not cheap) Edited August 9, 2013 by Brumerican 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted August 9, 2013 Share Posted August 9, 2013 I once had a girl confess to me that it was a big fantasy of hers to have a bloke piss inside her. And no, I didn't. Oh you **** bottler! Ha! I can live without urinating inside her fanny! You think a bit of piss in the bed is bad form, try this one on, quite a few years ago my sister and her husband met some people whilst on holiday who lived fairly local and they kept in touch when the got home and they used to have nights out together, they came to few family parties etc anyhow after one night out they go back to my sisters for a few more drinks, after a while the husband of the other couple excuses himself to go to the bathroom leaving the others chatting in the living room, he's gone for quite a long whilee then when he comes down, cools as anything says it's been a great night but it's getting late and they have to get off, sister and hubby say their goodbyes and continue to finish their drinks then go upstairs to bed, my sister pops into the bathroom to do the usual, clean teeth etc and is greeted with an unbelievable sight, the bathroom is covered in shit, it's everywhere, up the walls all over the floor sink, bath, shower, towels, just everywhere, she can't see a spot that's unsoiled the whole room looks like someone had spayed the room with slurry from a fire hose. Needless to say they never heard from them again and didn't really want to. But I would have loved to have heard the excuse, "sorry I suffered an arse explosion whilst doing naked cartwheels and somersaults in your bathroom". The other question has to be how he covered the bathroom from top to bottom in excrement yet kept himself and his clothes reasonably clean, or at least clean enough for his excrement spaying activities not to be evident from his appearance. I have also wondered if he was a serial De-fouler of bathrooms, picking up random victims for grooming, all the time waiting for his opportunity to defile their bathrooms with his butt fudge. So think yourself lucky it's jsut a bit of piss on a matress That is brilliant! Brilliant in an awful horrible way of course! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mockingbird_franklin Posted August 9, 2013 Share Posted August 9, 2013 I once had a girl confess to me that it was a big fantasy of hers to have a bloke piss inside her. And no, I didn't. Oh you **** bottler! Ha! I can live without urinating inside her fanny! You think a bit of piss in the bed is bad form, try this one on, quite a few years ago my sister and her husband met some people whilst on holiday who lived fairly local and they kept in touch when the got home and they used to have nights out together, they came to few family parties etc anyhow after one night out they go back to my sisters for a few more drinks, after a while the husband of the other couple excuses himself to go to the bathroom leaving the others chatting in the living room, he's gone for quite a long whilee then when he comes down, cools as anything says it's been a great night but it's getting late and they have to get off, sister and hubby say their goodbyes and continue to finish their drinks then go upstairs to bed, my sister pops into the bathroom to do the usual, clean teeth etc and is greeted with an unbelievable sight, the bathroom is covered in shit, it's everywhere, up the walls all over the floor sink, bath, shower, towels, just everywhere, she can't see a spot that's unsoiled the whole room looks like someone had spayed the room with slurry from a fire hose. Needless to say they never heard from them again and didn't really want to. But I would have loved to have heard the excuse, "sorry I suffered an arse explosion whilst doing naked cartwheels and somersaults in your bathroom". The other question has to be how he covered the bathroom from top to bottom in excrement yet kept himself and his clothes reasonably clean, or at least clean enough for his excrement spaying activities not to be evident from his appearance. I have also wondered if he was a serial De-fouler of bathrooms, picking up random victims for grooming, all the time waiting for his opportunity to defile their bathrooms with his butt fudge. So think yourself lucky it's jsut a bit of piss on a matress That is brilliant! Brilliant in an awful horrible way of course! well i blame it for reason I'm always very aloof on holiday and avoid making friendships at any cost. Think of my poor sister and her husband having to clean it up, I think I would have paid someone to burn the house down rather than clean up what they described. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PompeyVillan Posted August 10, 2013 Share Posted August 10, 2013 Me and a group of friends were hammered on an all nighter a few years back. We decided we needed to go to the 24 /7 garage to get more booze. When we got there a few people decided they needed a piss , so I sat down and waited for them whilst they chose their spot. Everyone came back and we chatted for a bit and noticed a really bad smell. The usual fart allegations were thrown out, when I realised that the one mate was staying incredibly quiet. After about 10 minutes he stood up and made his excuses and started walking home. We thought nothing of it, it was 6 in the morning and everyone was flagging a bit. It was not until he was half way up the road that you could see shit dribbling down his legs as he was walking past some early morning commuters. Thing is, they sold toilet roll at the garage... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Genie Posted August 10, 2013 Share Posted August 10, 2013 Never pissed the bed as far as I can remember, now, after reading this thread, considering never drinking ever again. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MessiWillSignForVilla Posted August 11, 2013 Share Posted August 11, 2013 Wow, when I saw the thread title I was expecting a story about an arsey housemate, not this goldmine that I've stumbled into I've not had this much fun reading a thread in OT since the HoneyTrap thread. Unfortunately, I have no piss story to add, only ones with copious amounts of vomit. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Avflife Posted August 11, 2013 Share Posted August 11, 2013 (edited) This thread has me in stitches, like others when reading the thread title I thought it might of been about a pain in the arse housemate (4 years at Uni, you experience one or two of them) but its just better than my initial thoughts were. I have never wet myself after a session, but have destroyed the toilet the following morning. But I have got a story to tell, a mate who once came up on a visit whilst I was at Uni, anyways he ended up pulling a girl (a slightly big girl lol) on a night out and when he couldn't find the toilet in her room the next morning he decided, '**** it' and decided to shit in her wardrobe and in the sink in her room, before making a quick escape through the front door. He decided he tell the next day just to make it slightly funnier, I was eating a fry-up, I never finished the fry-up after his detailed recap of the night Edited August 11, 2013 by Avflife Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Avfc96 Posted August 11, 2013 Share Posted August 11, 2013 I pissed the bed once when I was 7. Never happened again no matter how drunk I have been. However, a few weeks ago at a house party I went looking for someone and I went into the parents bedroom and to my shock saw a lad having a piss over the parents bed, pissed out of his head. Tried to convince him it was not the bathroom but he was having none of it. Still haven't heard what happened to the lad that hosted the house party after his parents got back the following evening. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8pints Posted August 11, 2013 Share Posted August 11, 2013 I pissed the bed once when I was 7. Never happened again no matter how drunk I have been. You got on the wagon early. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YLN Posted August 29, 2013 Author Share Posted August 29, 2013 This thread grew legs.... So the guy came back on Sunday. The plastic sheet was pretty discrete so I just left it on. Better safe than sorry again now the mattress was flipped. Fine.. I went out during the week and told a couple of friends of mine, only one of whom knows the housemate, but is a good friend of mine so would have cop on enough not to mention it or anything. In truth I'm not even sure if I did tell him. I'd had a few drinks. Hadn't intended on telling anyone, but it was funny and ****, if you're pissing the bed after too many ciders and the world finds out, it's not the worlds fault. So today I came home to find the housemate. We chat for a bit and then he says he met the guy I might have told who he knows. He says the guy told him something. I didn't know what he was talking about. Named a few things he could have said. He gave me clue which was that the guy told him something about himself that he didn't even know about. He keeps going on about it. I finally consider that it could be that maybe I told him about the pissy bed. I play dumb, expecting this not to be the case. But the more I think about it, the more it seems like that is what it is... Very strange that I'd tell someone this on a night out and they'd go running up to them the next day, mention it and then say to ask me about it... I mean the guy I told generally has some cop on, but recently has been coming out with some strange things and had a repeat exam today so may well have been stressed and not knowing what he's doing. Still though,,, Interesting times ahead. I text my mate to ask him what the story is and what he had told the housemate. No reply as of yet. Probably still trying to get his foot out of his mouth Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Voinjama Posted August 30, 2013 Share Posted August 30, 2013 Tell us more. Wow, when I saw the thread title I was expecting a story about an arsey housemate, not this goldmine that I've stumbled into I've not had this much fun reading a thread in OT since the HoneyTrap thread. Unfortunately, I have no piss story to add, only ones with copious amounts of vomit. Tell us the vomit stories. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted August 30, 2013 Share Posted August 30, 2013 Me and a group of friends were hammered on an all nighter a few years back. We decided we needed to go to the 24 /7 garage to get more booze. When we got there a few people decided they needed a piss , so I sat down and waited for them whilst they chose their spot. Everyone came back and we chatted for a bit and noticed a really bad smell. The usual fart allegations were thrown out, when I realised that the one mate was staying incredibly quiet. After about 10 minutes he stood up and made his excuses and started walking home. We thought nothing of it, it was 6 in the morning and everyone was flagging a bit. It was not until he was half way up the road that you could see shit dribbling down his legs as he was walking past some early morning commuters. Thing is, they sold toilet roll at the garage... This sounds like any number of "Dan" songs by The Macc Lads Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Folski Posted August 30, 2013 Share Posted August 30, 2013 (edited) Don't know if you can see this but it's my friends brother so drunk that he decided he'd take a little nap in the urinal while not being my house mate he almost definitely has pissy pants Edited August 30, 2013 by Folski 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Voinjama Posted August 30, 2013 Share Posted August 30, 2013 This thread has been a real eye opener. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leemond2008 Posted August 30, 2013 Share Posted August 30, 2013 I'm with Rob here. I'm well up for a bit of watersports. Not done it as yet, though no doubt some of the things I have done would be considered far more depraved by you nancy boys. I will get round to it... Not long back I was walking to the pub with a bird that I work with and half way there she started complaining that she really needed a wee and then right there in the middle of the road she just pissed herself, I mean like FULL ON pissed herself she was left standing in a puddle of it, she started crying and begging me not to tell anyone, I told her not to worry and that I actually found it quite erotic, she flashed me a filthy look then started to chuckle through her tears at which point another couple of little squirts came out HAHAHAHA The dirty mare got into the pub ran into the toilets and gave herself a quick wash down and then got changed into a dress that she had bought earlier on in the day 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Voinjama Posted August 30, 2013 Share Posted August 30, 2013 I'm with Rob here. I'm well up for a bit of watersports. Not done it as yet, though no doubt some of the things I have done would be considered far more depraved by you nancy boys. I will get round to it... Not long back I was walking to the pub with a bird that I work with and half way there she started complaining that she really needed a wee and then right there in the middle of the road she just pissed herself, I mean like FULL ON pissed herself she was left standing in a puddle of it, she started crying and begging me not to tell anyone, I told her not to worry and that I actually found it quite erotic, she flashed me a filthy look then started to chuckle through her tears at which point another couple of little squirts came out HAHAHAHA The dirty mare got into the pub ran into the toilets and gave herself a quick wash down and then got changed into a dress that she had bought earlier on in the day This will be remembered for years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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