Amsterdam_Neil_D Posted June 9, 2017 Share Posted June 9, 2017 There was an Asian bloke on Mock the Week last night, my 4 year granddaughter is funnier than him, as am I, as is everyone else on VT. He was shit and got paid for it. Even the panelists didn't laugh which is a very bad sign. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amsterdam_Neil_D Posted June 9, 2017 Share Posted June 9, 2017 4 minutes ago, Xela said: That surprises me, Kay always seems to come off as a sound bloke. Just goes to show hey. That's what I thought as well. Saying that, I wrote a letter to "Jim 'll fix it" so what can you do. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Xela Posted June 9, 2017 Popular Post Share Posted June 9, 2017 4 minutes ago, Amsterdam_Neil_D said: That's what I thought as well. Saying that, I wrote a letter to "Jim 'll fix it" so what can you do. I asked Jim'll Fix It it if I could meet Rolf Harris. No wonder I have bum problems now. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amsterdam_Neil_D Posted June 9, 2017 Share Posted June 9, 2017 1 minute ago, Xela said: I asked Jim'll Fix It it if I could meet Rolf Harris. No wonder I have bum problems now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amsterdam_Neil_D Posted June 9, 2017 Share Posted June 9, 2017 (edited) 10 minutes ago, Xela said: I asked Jim'll Fix It it if I could meet Rolf Harris. No wonder I have bum problems now. I bet it was the very, very worst 2 weeks in a caravan that you can ever remember ? I suppose it was the like the elation of your letter being chosen and then the utter devastation of 2 weeks in Rhyl, in February and it was well cold. I think we spoke about it before, recently anyway and you said the caravan site was "Well Posh", well I have a surprise for you. We have translated the Latin tattoo you have on your arse into English and it say's "If the caravan's a rocking, don't come a knock-in J&R". Do you know what that could mean ? Do you even know when you had it done ? Edited June 9, 2017 by Amsterdam_Neil_D 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisp65 Posted June 9, 2017 Share Posted June 9, 2017 15 minutes ago, Xela said: I asked Jim'll Fix It it if I could meet Rolf Harris. No wonder I have bum problems now. "The lab tests are back Mr Xela, can you explain why there's Glitter up your shitter?" 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paddywhack Posted June 9, 2017 Share Posted June 9, 2017 24 minutes ago, chrisp65 said: "The lab tests are back Mr Xela, can you explain why there's Glitter up your shitter?" "Well, I er...hang on, how do you know my VillaTalk username?" "Because I'm <insert a VT user here (for some reason Rugeley popped into my head)>" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted June 9, 2017 Share Posted June 9, 2017 I knew I shouldn't have dragged my anus into this discussion. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisp65 Posted June 9, 2017 Share Posted June 9, 2017 14 minutes ago, Xela said: I knew I shouldn't have dragged my anus into this discussion. I want to do a joke where your error leads to my being found guilty of something and facing consequences. It ends in the classic summary: "your cock up, my arse" But I'm too tired to think up the build up to the punch line. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted June 9, 2017 Share Posted June 9, 2017 2 hours ago, chrisp65 said: I want to do a joke where your error leads to my being found guilty of something and facing consequences. It ends in the classic summary: "your cock up, my arse" But I'm too tired to think up the build up to the punch line. Have a like just for the intent. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morley_crosses_to_Withe Posted June 10, 2017 Share Posted June 10, 2017 (edited) Full gym kit rocket polishers. Not people actually in the gym/or clearly out for a run, but those you see everywhere but the gym. My local high street is full of them on weekends. They're in the shops, the supermarkets, in coffee shops etc. The majority of them don't even look like they've done any exercise or like they're going to (I don't know why you'd do a full shop immediately before hitting the gym). Most of them are women, so I'm wondering whether it's actually just a trend now to put gymwear on to do day-to-day errands. Even so...shit trend! It's trying too hard to say "look me and my healthy lifestyle everyone" when in fact they've probably just got a hardly used membership for a shit gym like Pure. Edited June 10, 2017 by Morley_crosses_to_Withe 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted June 10, 2017 Share Posted June 10, 2017 1 minute ago, Morley_crosses_to_Withe said: Full gym kit rocket polishers. Not people actually in the gym/or clearly out for a run, but those you see everywhere but the gym. My local high street is full of them on weekends. They're in the shops, the supermarkets, in coffee shops etc. The majority of them don't even look like they've done any exercise or like they're going to (I don't know why you'd do a full shop immediately before hitting the gym). Most of them are women, so I'm wondering whether it's actually just a trend now to put gymwear on to do day-to-day errands. Even so...shit trend! It's trying too hard to say "look me and my healthy lifestyle everyone" when in fact they've probably just got a hardly used membership for a shit gym like Pure. It's a trend. I was in London a few weeks a go and it's rammed with (mostly) clunge wearing all this garb. Not that I was complaining... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xann Posted June 10, 2017 Share Posted June 10, 2017 Tis true. Eastern European hotties and attractive professionals. The three nearest tube stations have gyms next to them. *Rubs knees* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tegis Posted June 10, 2017 VT Supporter Share Posted June 10, 2017 1 hour ago, rjw63 said: It's a trend. I was in London a few weeks a go and it's rammed with (mostly) clunge wearing all this garb. Not that I was complaining... Precisely, I've been waiting for the yoga-pants-trend from 15 years ago to return. It's a glorious time (with some horrid exceptions of course) 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morley_crosses_to_Withe Posted June 10, 2017 Share Posted June 10, 2017 3 hours ago, rjw63 said: It's a trend. I was in London a few weeks a go and it's rammed with (mostly) clunge wearing all this garb. Not that I was complaining... That's why it shouldn't piss me off It's the desperate need to projecte a healthy style that's annoying; not the tight yoga pants themselves (aside from, as Tegis says - some of the fat chicks who attempt it). Like those word removeds who take sefies in the gym to post on Facebook or post pictures of their advocado on toast for Instagram. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted June 10, 2017 VT Supporter Share Posted June 10, 2017 1 hour ago, Morley_crosses_to_Withe said: That's why it shouldn't piss me off It's the desperate need to projecte a healthy style that's annoying; not the tight yoga pants themselves (aside from, as Tegis says - some of the fat chicks who attempt it). Like those word removeds who take sefies in the gym to post on Facebook or post pictures of their advocado on toast for Instagram. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bickster Posted June 10, 2017 Moderator Share Posted June 10, 2017 Daylight Running Lights on cars, most of them are brighter than normal side lights which you aren't meant to have on in daylight unless visibility is impaired Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted June 10, 2017 Share Posted June 10, 2017 2 hours ago, Morley_crosses_to_Withe said: That's why it shouldn't piss me off It's the desperate need to projecte a healthy style that's annoying; not the tight yoga pants themselves (aside from, as Tegis says - some of the fat chicks who attempt it). Like those word removeds who take sefies in the gym to post on Facebook or post pictures of their advocado on toast for Instagram. 1. Go to gym in full make up 2. "Exercise" aka 15 mins on the recliner bike while taking selfies and posting to Instagram/Facebook 3. Go to Starbucks and read the sycophantic comments from beta orbiters on your social media pages 4. Home 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mottaloo Posted June 10, 2017 Share Posted June 10, 2017 1 hour ago, Xela said: 1. Go to gym in full make up 2. "Exercise" aka 15 mins on the recliner bike while taking selfies and posting to Instagram/Facebook 3. Go to Starbucks and read the sycophantic comments from beta orbiters on your social media pages 4. Home A female friend of mine once told me she had recently seen 2 women in her local david lloyd locker room getting ready for a "workout"......and they were both applying false eye lashes. Okay, it was in essex but jeez (PS - I think I'm gonna have to look up what beta orbiter means !) 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amsterdam_Neil_D Posted June 11, 2017 Share Posted June 11, 2017 (edited) 10 hours ago, mottaloo said: beta orbiter "A man-made satellite or similar upper atmospheric craft (Usually unmanned) that is currently in or about to enter "Pre-Order-Stage" or "Early-access-Stage" with all post launch D.L.C actions now completed." OR "A man (or woman) who enthusiastically engages in high level domestic violence whist travelling from room to room within the dwelling making sure to "Mark" each room visit with some sort of abrasion or damage to the furniture and/or partner therein" Edited June 11, 2017 by Amsterdam_Neil_D 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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