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I have a confession to make.....


Houlston

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Fingers in the till? I've never done it, but I've taken advantage of somebody else doing it, so I suppose that makes me an accessory [1].

 

I had a mate who worked in a pub (it was the King's Arms, aka 'the Knob', in King's Heath),and he used to give free beer to all his mates as a point of principle (he hated the landlord). He got caught and was sacked eventually, but it was good while it lasted.

 

[1] Probably a handbag.

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If I take anything from petty cash, it's not usually a case of penny pinching per se.

 

Our petty cash system is pretty non-existant, and I'll quite regularly find myself paying for things like milk etc when it should be coming from company funds. Because of this I tend to use the petty cash as a backup when I need some money for a chicken sandwich. Who's winning out of myself or the company is anyone's guess.

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Confessions?

 

I have loads, most of 'em pervy.

 

 

Am I telling you lot?

 

Am I fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

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Petty cash for bits and bobs, nowt wrong with that.  I'd never dip a finger in a till, couldn't do it, but I was left in charge of a furniture store for about 6 months as the company (let's call them "Argocay Omeshophay") couldn't be arsed to replace an outgoing manager and was happy to foist the responsibility on yours truly (without the appropriate wage-hike, I might add, but I was too young to care to argue); we had feck-all air conditioning, so I'd use the petty cash to get everyone ice-creams in the summer, and other little nibbles/drinks to keep the staff happy (totally unrelated to the fact that the staff in question were rather attractive girls in their early twenties).

 

I did, however, also use the opportunity to furnish my flat.  CD/DVD racks, coffee/lamp table, a kite (I dunno why, it was just cool), a slip 'n' slide, and the pièce de résistance; an ex-display leather two-seater recliner, which I ultimately sold for £50.  It's good to be the king.

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Confessions?

I have loads, most of 'em pervy.

Am I telling you lot?

Am I fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

Something to hide? Sex offenders register? ;)

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I have had a wank on 90% of all my air flights.

Fly with me and you are going to sit in jizz.

Shame is for the weak.

 

What happens on the 10%?

I have had a wank on 90% of all my air flights.

Fly with me and you are going to sit in jizz.

Shame is for the weak.

 

What happens on the 10%?

It's usually a Ryan Air to Benidorm for a stag do which means there are very few loo's and long waiting lines.

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I have had a wank on 90% of all my air flights.

Fly with me and you are going to sit in jizz.

Shame is for the weak.

 

What happens on the 10%?

 

 

I have had a wank on 90% of all my air flights.

Fly with me and you are going to sit in jizz.

Shame is for the weak.

 

What happens on the 10%?

 

It's usually a Ryan Air to Benidorm for a stag do which means there are very few loo's and long waiting lines.

 

 

You should take blankets.

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I'd flush myself out of the plane if it was heading to Benidorm.

 

Would you have time to knock one out as you fell towards your death?

 

You could really **** with the investigators if you managed to aim your load in the right spot, fire, land and have it fall on you after you've splattered over the earth.

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Given the choice I would never go to Benidorm ever again but rarely do I get to choose stag do locations. Apparently the science museum isn't "cool".

But yeah ...name a place and I have probably knocked one out there .

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But yeah ...name a place and I have probably knocked one out there .

 

Small Heath

Multiple times. I scaffolded the supermarket outside the sty and those portaloos took a pounding during lunch .

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I have had a wank on 90% of all my air flights.

Fly with me and you are going to sit in jizz.

Shame is for the weak.

Does that qualify for the mile high club?

Solo wings.

Edited by Brumerican
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