dAVe80 Posted August 27, 2015 Share Posted August 27, 2015 (edited) I could take a giraffe. Snap its knees and it's done. Stupid gangly clearing in the woods. To turn the question on its head, what's the smallest animal that you couldn't take? No weapons. Definitely not a honey badger. Not sure how capable a tasmanian devil is although I know how angry they are. Maybe a good 50-yd field goal kick in the hole would sort it out. An otter maybe. I certainly wouldn't be crazy enough to take on a swan. They can break your arm. Edited August 27, 2015 by dAVe80 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dAVe80 Posted August 27, 2015 Share Posted August 27, 2015 What's the biggest animal, you think you could take in a fight? No weapons allowed. I think I could take a goat. Maybe a llama. Llamas are well hard, I wouldn't fancy it. I've fought a goat to a draw, but I was admittedly using a weapon. We were staying in a holiday cottage, and the owner warned us that the goat was aggressive, but advised hitting it with the baseball bat provided if it gave us any trouble. Now, I'm not one for cruelty to animals, but on day two, sure enough, this thing STOOD ON ITS BACK LEGS and came at me, head down. I had the bat to hand, so I swung it as hard as I could at the bastard's head. The sound and feel was like hitting a brick wall, but it stopped it in its tracks. A couple more blows and it backed off. Never tried it again. Very strange experience. Yeah, I can see that about llamas. That's why I was tentative and said, maybe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StefanAVFC Posted August 27, 2015 Share Posted August 27, 2015 I could kill a fish with my bare hands Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted August 27, 2015 Moderator Share Posted August 27, 2015 Can I pick the fish? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted August 27, 2015 Author VT Supporter Share Posted August 27, 2015 Can I pick the fish? Is that a euphemism? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
useless Posted August 27, 2015 Share Posted August 27, 2015 I could take a lion. Take him where? To be fair, the scariest situation and probably the closest I've been to death was from an Alligator attack, so I wouldn't recommend mooching about near them either. That made me think of 'Ace Rimmer' fighting an Alligator 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted August 27, 2015 Moderator Share Posted August 27, 2015 Is that a euphemism?No, technically a euphemism is a cetacean. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post BOF Posted August 27, 2015 Moderator Popular Post Share Posted August 27, 2015 A strange report coming from a hedgehog. Was it doing the shipping forecast or something? 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paddywhack Posted August 27, 2015 Share Posted August 27, 2015 The biggest animal I could beat in hand to hand combat would be an elephant. Because it has no hands. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
useless Posted August 27, 2015 Share Posted August 27, 2015 I remember hearing that if you go to Africa the most dangerous animal is a bug that can swim up your urine when your urinating. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Paddywhack Posted August 27, 2015 Popular Post Share Posted August 27, 2015 I remember hearing that if you go to Africa the most dangerous animal is a bug that can swim up your urine when your urinating. Yeah, but in a street fight he's gonna have a hard time trying to get me to wee. He'd have to hang around the bogs, waiting for me to tinkle and then sucker punch me. Sees like a bit of loser, that bug. Needs to learn to fight like a man. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
useless Posted August 27, 2015 Share Posted August 27, 2015 As long as you don't wee into a lake I think your alright as that's where the bugs live. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8pints Posted August 27, 2015 Share Posted August 27, 2015 it's ok, batman is just a children's comic character leant kudos by twenty somethings afraid of growing up, he can take it What's the biggest animal, you think you could take in a fight? No weapons allowed. Well, I like to think it was a draw between me and the alligator in the sense, he tore my leg to bits and nearly drowned me but I did hurt his tail trying to preventi him from a 'death roll' and blind him. but I was right by his nest so all up in his yard so I don't blame him for having a bite. I lost a lot of blood and nearly lost my leg and he lost his sight...I think that's a draw. I could take a giraffe. Snap its knees and it's done. Stupid gangly clearing in the woods. To turn the question on its head, what's the smallest animal that you couldn't take? No weapons. Mosquito. As small as it is, it is also the deadliest. Mosquitos are supposed to transmit diseases to almost 700 million people every year resulting in 2 to 3 million deaths. Also, they're very hard to hit with a left hook. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dAVe80 Posted August 27, 2015 Share Posted August 27, 2015 The biggest animal I could beat in hand to hand combat would be an elephant. Because it has no hands. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisp65 Posted August 27, 2015 Share Posted August 27, 2015 I could kill a fish with my bare hands level 1 = goldfish - yeah I can see you despatching that without too much bother level 2 = plaice - yeah, it'll need a bit more strategy but basically put it on a hard flat surface and give it a decent punch level 3 = pollock - getting harder, took the inbetweeners crew a while when they killed one level 4 = dogfish - best of luck, it's possible but you could be embarrassed level 5 = tuna - 50 / 50 on ths one I reckon level 6 = cookie cutter shark - hmmmm, again this could go either way level 7 = stingray - I've got the fish down as the winner here level 8 = great white - no weapons? no fire extinguisher / gas canister and rifle? no chance 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted August 27, 2015 VT Supporter Share Posted August 27, 2015 After the SIFF world cup, could U-SIFF-C (Ultimate Stevo Interspecies Fighting Federation Championship) be next? 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyh29 Posted August 27, 2015 Share Posted August 27, 2015 (edited) I could kill a fish with my bare handslevel 1 = goldfish - yeah I can see you despatching that without too much bother level 2 = plaice - yeah, it'll need a bit more strategy but basically put it on a hard flat surface and give it a decent punch level 3 = pollock - getting harder, took the inbetweeners crew a while when they killed one level 4 = dogfish - best of luck, it's possible but you could be embarrassed level 5 = tuna - 50 / 50 on ths one I reckon level 6 = cookie cutter shark - hmmmm, again this could go either way level 7 = stingray - I've got the fish down as the winner here level 8 = great white - no weapons? no fire extinguisher / gas canister and rifle? no chance I've encountered dogfish whilst scuba diving off the cost of Weymouth ... They just lay there on the bottom of the sea and don't even react when I pick them up by the tail and give them a little stroke .... So i'd put them between goldfish and plaice And a great white will go limp if you put your hand on its nose ... Of course you could be three quarters inside him or missing a few limbs Edited August 27, 2015 by tonyh29 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisp65 Posted August 27, 2015 Share Posted August 27, 2015 That's a soft southern dogfish, you lift a proper manly one out of the water and it goes into a sort of flipping spasm. Skin like sand paper when you catch it in the wrong direction. It should be a formality, beating a dogfish, but I'm not confident in Stefan's fish fighting ability. Too many desk jobs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyh29 Posted August 27, 2015 Share Posted August 27, 2015 Mantis shrimp is one of the deadliest creatures if it's punch doesn't kill you the shockwave after the punch finishes the job off Of course for humans it's only a problem if you encounter one made in a lab called Mantzilla Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOF Posted August 27, 2015 Moderator Share Posted August 27, 2015 Tuna a level below cookie cutter ? Chortle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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