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How do you wipe yer arse?


TheSufferingVilla

Do you wipe your arse:  

287 members have voted

  1. 1. Do you wipe your arse:

    • Standing Up?
      138
    • Sitting Down?
      151


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Put your hand through your legs and wipe the poo away .

 

 

That's just wrong as is a dead cert for smelly balls.

 

Round the back using the index finger.

 

That's disgusting.

 

At least use some toilet roll.

 

 

Ah sorry! We're in the 'wipe yer arse' thread...

 

Thought it was the Savile thread.

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There was a "how often do you sit to piss" thread, but I believe that thread got pruned.

lol, one thing I wanted to know, do people find buttoned jeans annoying when you are desparate for a piss?

 

 

Yes, it's why I don't buy them.

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If buttoned jeans are actually a problem for you when needing a piss, you either have urinary incontinence issues or digital dexterity issues. The buttons aren't the problem :)

Back on topic though. If you're a stander then it's very probable that you're not wiping your arse properly. As a test, next time a stander curls one out and 'wipes'(sic), just humour me and sit back down on the bowl and give it another wipe (around the back, not through the legs) and see if you were actually finished. I don't expect anyone to admit to their findings. I only hope you'll have learned something :)

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Standers are not really standers though Bri, they're kind of squatters.

 

They get the max reach, wipe and 'penetration' available from the squat - as much, if not more, than a seated wipe.

 

Unless someone who is a stander can come on here and say that they do actually wipe whilst vertical/straight standing. I'd be shocked.

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If buttoned jeans are actually a problem for you when needing a piss, you either have urinary incontinence issues or digital dexterity issues. The buttons aren't the problem :)

 

Indeed. I also find with button fly that once you've worn the jeans a few times, and used the fly, the ease of fastening is greatly increased.

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If buttoned jeans are actually a problem for you when needing a piss, you either have urinary incontinence issues or digital dexterity issues. The buttons aren't the problem :)

 

Indeed. I also find with button fly that once you've worn the jeans a few times, and used the fly, the ease of fastening is greatly increased.

 

 

Yes new jeans are the problem. I think button jeans look better. Sorry about changing the topic. Lets get back to how we wipe our bum

Edited by PaulC
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Standers are not really standers though Bri, they're kind of squatters.

 

They get the max reach, wipe and 'penetration' available from the squat - as much, if not more, than a seated wipe.

 

Unless someone who is a stander can come on here and say that they do actually wipe whilst vertical/straight standing. I'd be shocked.

Even a squat is more straight than a sitting person. If you're not on the bowl then you're in some kind of partial stance

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Standers are not really standers though Bri, they're kind of squatters.

 

They get the max reach, wipe and 'penetration' available from the squat - as much, if not more, than a seated wipe.

 

Unless someone who is a stander can come on here and say that they do actually wipe whilst vertical/straight standing. I'd be shocked.

Even a squat is more straight than a sitting person. If you're not on the bowl then you're in some kind of partial stance

 

But you can manoeuvre without the restrictions of the toilet, whilst still getting a very good wipe. In fact, sans toilet, you can get a greater opening, if you went for the full squat dip, as the toilet restricts how far you can bend over ...

 

I'm a reformed sitter by the way. Brought up to wipe sitting, before I discovered there was 'another way'. I wouldn't go back. I found wiping whilst seated too awkward.

 

Also, with the sitting wipe, how do you inspect the result of the wipe (if you do that?). Do you not have to bring it back out from under to have a look, thus raising the potential of smearing against oneself?

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Slightly OT but I got caught short while out on a run once and only had a small copse nearby to use.

 

Squatting outdoors in the woods was the most liberating experience of my life.

was it a dry poo, or did you have to use leaves or similar to wipe - or leave it unwiped?

 

Once you squat, you can't stop, as you'll have seen the light! :P

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But you can manoeuvre without the restrictions of the toilet, whilst still getting a very good wipe. In fact, sans toilet, you can get a greater opening, if you went for the full squat dip, as the toilet restricts how far you can bend over ...

 

I'm a reformed sitter by the way. Brought up to wipe sitting, before I discovered there was 'another way'. I wouldn't go back. I found wiping whilst seated too awkward.

 

Also, with the sitting wipe, how do you inspect the result of the wipe (if you do that?). Do you not have to bring it back out from under to have a look, thus raising the potential of smearing against oneself?

I'm sorry but I despair for the agility of the average human if you risk smearing yourself with such a simple manouver :lol: The bowl can also be used to go >100% if you want. Having watched "Embarrassing Bodies" on Channel 4 and with this being such a big forum, I've no doubt the law of averages means some of you probably don't realise you're walking, stinking crispy-ringed dangleberry harbourers :)
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