TimTort Posted October 22, 2018 Share Posted October 22, 2018 There was a topic on another site about the drawbacks to letting a strange use your toilet or how often you’ve been asked by someone you don’t know if they can use your loo. One of the comical replies is copied below. How amusing! And intriguing! ——————————- Many years ago I remember my mum making tea or coffee for some policemen. Right opposite our house there was an alleyway and one day someone got attacked down there. It was quite serious and the place was swarming with police for ages and they put up tape to stop people walking past. My mum took them out trays of hot drinks and I was only a young teenager at the time but I remember that one of the police officers came over and asked my mum if he could use our toilet. He actually took his shoes off at the front door which probably wouldn't happen nowadays and he also left his police helmet on the table in the hall so being the inquisitive teenager and went and had a look inside it. There were straps so that it could rest on his head! Anyway, a while later I heard some more noise in the hall and when I went out there were three policeman standing waiting outside our downstairs toilet. They all seemed to be chatting quite calmly but one was gently but quite noticeably bobbing up and down. Suddenly, one of them called my mum and the next thing I knew was that the one who had been jigging around was being ushered upstairs by my mum, going in front of her and she followed right behind him. He was quite young, around mid-twenties I should imagine, and he was in his socks too. I never knew any visitors who used our bathroom upstairs rather than the downstairs toilet, even visiting family members, but this young policeman was up there ages. Eventually the others who had used the downstairs loo were back outside waiting by their van and my mum had gone up and down the stairs a few times whilst she also took the young officer's shoes upstairs to him, which I've never managed to fathom out why. There was a lot of too-ing and fro-ing and the conversation exchanges seemed quite serious but finally this policeman came back down the stairs and went straight out to the van and they all went, never to be seen again. When my dad got home from work, the moment he stepped in the door my mum took him upstairs and I remember going halfway up the staircase to see what was going on and he and my mum were standing outside the bathroom door, which was open and they were looking and pointing and talking for some time. It was as if she was telling him what had happened. Later that evening, my mum did some washing which was unusual because we had a lady who actually used to come in and clean the house and she always did the washing during the day so it was rare to hear the washing machine going in the evenings. Whether she was washing clothes or the bathroom mats or whether it was entirely unrelated, I don't have any idea unfortunately but it was a very strange incident and both my parents seemed very engaged in spending time in the bathroom dealing with something that evening. I didn't really think too much about it at the time but when I look back now I do wonder what happened. Did the ones who were queuing for the downstairs toilet call my mum to ask her to assist the one who went upstairs? Why did she go with him, walking behind him? Why was he up there so long? And why did she take his shoes up to him? When my dad came home, why did my mum whisk him upstairs to look at the bathroom so quickly? And what did she wash that night? Or did my dad do some cleaning upstairs? I'll never know, of course, but it's open to guessing I suppose. Who knows? It's a long, long time ago now. But I guess my mum might have regretted letting the police officers in that day? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seat68 Posted October 22, 2018 Share Posted October 22, 2018 (edited) This story lacks an ending, It is not comical or amusing. 2/10 WNB. Edit. Is this playing the long game, one of your earlier posts is about a copper shoeless and needing the toilet. Edited October 22, 2018 by Seat68 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bickster Posted October 22, 2018 Moderator Share Posted October 22, 2018 tl:dr Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted October 22, 2018 VT Supporter Share Posted October 22, 2018 6 minutes ago, bickster said: tl:dr One line summary: Someone's mom let a policeman use the toilet and then his mom had to do some washing, so the policeman might have made a mess. However this is unconfirmed. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheAuthority Posted October 22, 2018 VT Supporter Share Posted October 22, 2018 Brilliant thread this Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StefanAVFC Posted October 22, 2018 VT Supporter Share Posted October 22, 2018 What an odd idea for a thread 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seat68 Posted October 22, 2018 Share Posted October 22, 2018 Surely @Xela must have asked to use a strangers toilet in the past? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Albrighton Posted October 22, 2018 VT Supporter Share Posted October 22, 2018 (edited) Not exactly in keeping with it, but still, it reminded me of this. Edited October 22, 2018 by Shropshire Lad 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bickster Posted October 22, 2018 Moderator Share Posted October 22, 2018 9 minutes ago, StefanAVFC said: What an odd idea for a thread We need to know how he wiped for it to be a VT thread proper 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Demitri_C Posted October 22, 2018 Share Posted October 22, 2018 I blame the mods Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted October 22, 2018 Share Posted October 22, 2018 11 minutes ago, Seat68 said: Surely @Xela must have asked to use a strangers toilet in the past? Not a stranger but had to use a customer's toilet once. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheAuthority Posted October 22, 2018 VT Supporter Share Posted October 22, 2018 Fold or wad? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rodders Posted October 22, 2018 Share Posted October 22, 2018 7 minutes ago, Demitri_C said: I blame the mods Are you sure, sounds like he came in a van, not on a scooter 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GarethRDR Posted October 22, 2018 Share Posted October 22, 2018 I can only bring myself to sit on my own loo. Even at friends, I feel the need to squat. This allows for greater visibility and accuracy of the poop though, thus eliminating the risk of skid marks. This can backfire horrifically though if one is suddenly beset by that particular type of diarrhoea that blasts out like a shotgun, forcing you to clean the whole bloody lid. I call it Russian Poulette. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xela Posted October 22, 2018 Share Posted October 22, 2018 3 minutes ago, TheAuthority said: Fold or wad? Sit. Fold. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheAuthority Posted October 22, 2018 VT Supporter Share Posted October 22, 2018 Just now, Xela said: Sit. Fold. I doubt there's anymore who stands and folds Then again this is VT so you never know! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GarethRDR Posted October 22, 2018 Share Posted October 22, 2018 Ooh and a protip for fellow squatters; you can completely eliminate all splashback (which can be particularly lethal when pooping from the elevated squat position) by strategically placing a couple of pieces of toilet paper so that they sit on the surface of the water before the act. They'll absorb all of the impact, regardless of log-heft. 1 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bickster Posted October 22, 2018 Moderator Share Posted October 22, 2018 9 minutes ago, GarethRDR said: Ooh and a protip for fellow squatters; you can completely eliminate all splashback (which can be particularly lethal when pooping from the elevated squat position) by strategically placing a couple of pieces of toilet paper so that they sit on the surface of the water before the act. They'll absorb all of the impact, regardless of log-heft. Wow, you could call this the Zanussi Method 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lapal_fan Posted October 22, 2018 Share Posted October 22, 2018 This thread is ban worthy. I hate you, OP. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blandy Posted October 22, 2018 Moderator Share Posted October 22, 2018 Bobby jobbie 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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