Paddywhack

So I found out that Helen Skelton is only 17 in that video.

Do you think there’ll be any Lazio fans at all? Bad idea to wear one of my Roma shirts?

Noooo! She’s a woman, so stop comparing her to the men!! She CAN’T be as good as us!! Waaaah waaaah I’ve a tiny penis waaaaah waaaaah.

Upside down speed camera signs. There’s one at the end of my road and I hate it. It’s made me notice more of them and I’d say about 10% of them are upside down. This photo was tweeted by another sad act who gets annoyed at them. If I’m honest, I can’t even tell you how I know it’s upside down, but it is.

Well I’ve learnt a thing or two about checking in early!

There’s probably a reason for this and I’m just being thick, but checking in to a hotel or a flight, days earlier, online. I booked a hotel last week for this Sunday night. I’ve just had an email come through saying I can now check in. So I clicked “check in”. It said “Great news, Mr Whack, you’re now checked in!” Who’s that for? What’s happened?

I remember that place, my dad wasn’t allowed in. He was too tall.

I think this is my favourite clip.

Was this last night? My mate Danny Clives was one of the other comics.

Cheers everyone, I’ve genuinely found comfort in your replies. I know there are worse things happening in the world and I suppose at the end of the day, Wotsit was “just a cat” as your mate put it @tomav84, but you’re spot on, some people can’t relate. I knew it wasn’t going to be pleasant, but it was much harder than I anticipated. I was sobbing like a baby when they injected him. Luckily all the staff were great and it was all quite peaceful really.

I have to take Wotist to be put to sleep at 5pm today. I'm dreading it, I think I'm going to leave the vets in a big blubbery, snotty mess.

Edit - Deleted - rubbish joke

"How important is yellow to you in your day to day life?"

I agree it's doesn't pop on that purple background, it would if it was white. But that's been my issue with the crest really*, I think it'll look great on a white away shirt, but it looks dull on a claret shirt. *that and the lion facing the wrong way

I don’t think it’s too bad, just ruined by the sponsor.

They pay a lot. Something to do with inflation.

If I ever get upset by the race, gender or sexuality of the people some company uses in their adverts, somebody please walk me in to my garden and put a bullet in the back of my head. I never want to be that dull.

Just got the platinum. I enjoyed hunting down all the collectibles, but having to start new saves for each house was a ball ache. It took 4-5 hours to get those final 3 trophies. Loved the game though. JK is a nob, but really enjoyed this.

It's happened to me before, I could tell they'd bulked my coke up with something else. I opened the bag and there it was, a great white shark. Nearly took my hand off.

I was getting on the monorail at Alton Towers last week with Mrs P and the two little Ps and we were joined in the carriage by an Asian bloke. Just as we were about to get off, my 4 year old pointed at the man and said quite loudly, "Look at that brown face!" Mrs Ps reaction was to shush him, whilst I pretended I didn't hear and immediately asked him if he was looking forward to going on the Postman Pat ride (my son, not the man). For some reason, he's obsessed with the colour of people's eyes, hair and clothes and they teach them about diversity at nursery. I don't think either of our reactions were particularly helpful, but equally, I'm not entirely sure what we should have said in that situation to be honest.