Irreverentad's Relationship Advice Thread

[Genie]

[delboy54]

There is a bloke where I work where him and his wife adopted. They had to go through lots of hoops and meetings and it took months, but they have now adopted 3 little ones aged 1, 2 and 3 all from the same mother.

There is a scheme at my place where you can claim upto 6 months (it might be longer) paid time off to build the bond with the kiddies.

Hats off to them for giving 3 kids a chance.

It is worth considering adoption, but it's a tough process to go through (as it should be) to show that you are potentially going to be suitable parents for adoption. 

I mean you don't get a receipt and cannot give them back!

I would definitely explore it villamarv, lots of kids just need a loving and stable home....they just need a chance in life

[Seat68]

If anyone is considering adoption I have a 35 year old ( yeah did it at least once) going if anyone wants one. 

[El Zen]

22 hours ago, Rugeley Villa said:

Hope I get a few replies even from the single VTers . How many times a week are we having sex  …..

 

 

I’d say on average about 1,5+ times per day, so 10-12 times per week, but we’ve only been together for six months. 

I probably should wait a bit and enjoy this before I ask her to marry me, shouldn’t I? 

[El Zen]

6 hours ago, Seat68 said:

You lot are amateurs, I married a genuine asexual. Not a joke, it is what it is and I love her immensely but sex is not part of our relationship. I don't judge her for it, we ascertained a long time ago that was how she was and for the most part I live with it. It's not something I have ever shared with anyone as I don't want my friends to judge her or our marriage, but yeah, asexual. 

There is absolutely no way I could live like that, and I don’t say that to be disrespectful. 

[Seat68]

1 minute ago, El Zen said:

There is absolutely no way I could live like that, and I don’t say that to be disrespectful. 

No, I am not taking it disrespectfully. I appreciate for most you can't live with it and I couldn't at one point, who knows how I will feel in 10 years. 

[El Zen]

On 29/09/2023 at 10:23, Jonesy7211 said:

No, but she bought my lad over to see me.

Glad to hear you haven’t got a brain tumor, buddy, but that is f***ed up. 

I hate my ex with a passion, but if the mother of my child potentially had a brain tumor I’d want to know. What would drive her to not even ask you about something so massive? 

[El Zen]

2 hours ago, Genie said:

Wait, what? 2 or 3 times A DAY?

On holiday, just me and the missus, no problem at all. 

[Rds1983]

35 minutes ago, VILLAMARV said:

We've pretty much decided (I know people can change their minds and that's also ok) against doing IVF if we don't get preggers before a certain cut off. Not sure either of us could handle the prospect of paying to prolong the agony of hope. We've done tests. There's no particular problem biologically. We went through a miscarriage a few years ago. So we're well aware of the pitfalls. Neither of us is getting any younger. Adoption does get discussed.

IVF is absolutely brutal. Much worse for the woman (all the pills and injections really mess them up). Physically, mentally and emotionally it sucks and there's no guarantee going into it that it can work and it was the hope that really got my wife as she was convinced it would work.

There's nothing wrong with either myself or my wife (apart from being late 30s at the time which affects chances), but it just wasn't to be.

If it does work though and you have a little villan, then that's the best thing in the world (and that's even after he literally threw a wooden sword at my head yesterday) and all the bad stuff of IVF would be forgotten. 

If you've not got a kid already then IVF should be free (assuming you're UK based). We had to pay as we already had a child.

If you do decide to go through with it drop me a DM and I'll give some advice where I can.

[Rds1983]

25 minutes ago, delboy54 said:

There is a bloke where I work where him and his wife adopted. They had to go through lots of hoops and meetings and it took months, but they have now adopted 3 little ones aged 1, 2 and 3 all from the same mother.

There is a scheme at my place where you can claim upto 6 months (it might be longer) paid time off to build the bond with the kiddies.

Hats off to them for giving 3 kids a chance.

It is worth considering adoption, but it's a tough process to go through (as it should be) to show that you are potentially going to be suitable parents for adoption. 

I mean you don't get a receipt and cannot give them back!

I would definitely explore it villamarv, lots of kids just need a loving and stable home....they just need a chance in life

We considered adoption and I pushed for it (I grew up in a Foster home so know how important it can be). 

However, whilst my wife was interested she had concerns about bringing another child in to our home and how that might affect our son.

It's been on the back burner for a while (a bit like getting a dog) and I suspect it won't happen, but well done to anyone who does go through with it.

[Talldarkandransome]

1 hour ago, Rugeley Villa said:

Back in my younger days several times a day was fine. The following day after a night out would be constant roll on roll off, but it’s very rare I could do it twice a day now and I don’t even think I’d want to . I do feel guilty sometimes because I know my missus would want it more . 

@Seat68 FYI 

[Rds1983]

1 hour ago, El Zen said:

I’d say on average about 1,5+ times per day, so 10-12 times per week, but we’ve only been together for six months. 

I probably should wait a bit and enjoy this before I ask her to marry me, shouldn’t I? 

No doubt each time also lasts a good 40 to 50 minutes and your Mrs can't get enough as you're so amazing but it's just so frustrating for you.

Or was that some other Scandinavian poster who claimed that on here a while back?

[Rugeley Villa]

11 minutes ago, Talldarkandransome said:

@Seat68 FYI 

I’m a  firm believer in everything has a price. 

[Rugeley Villa]

10 minutes ago, Rds1983 said:

No doubt each time also lasts a good 40 to 50 minutes and your Mrs can't get enough as you're so amazing but it's just so frustrating for you.

Or was that some other Scandinavian poster who claimed that on here a while back?

I can’t go as long as I used to but I do try and give her the best 5 minutes of her day .

[Wainy316]

What is success rate of IVF?  Seems to have not worked for anyone I’ve ever spoken to that’s had it (and everyone in here)

[Rds1983]

9 minutes ago, Wainy316 said:

What is success rate of IVF?  Seems to have not worked for anyone I’ve ever spoken to that’s had it (and everyone in here)

1 in 3 apparently (which is why when the 3rd time didn't work it devastated my wife as she'dconvinced herself it would that time).

I actually know a few people who've done it successfully, some more than once. 

I suspect you hear more about it not working then when it does as people might not want to advertise. 

[Talldarkandransome]

15 minutes ago, Rugeley Villa said:

I’m a  firm believer in everything has a price. 

Not as firm as a few years ago

[VILLAMARV]

I know a few people that it's worked out for. it varies by age (the success rate).

https://www.hfea.gov.uk/about-us/publications/research-and-data/fertility-treatment-2021-preliminary-trends-and-figures/

2021 figures

[Xela]

2 hours ago, Talldarkandransome said:

Don't have kids and die lonely but happy

and wealthy!

[Xela]

The longer I stay single, the less i'm bothered about sex. Don't get me wrong, if I met someone who I liked then i'd be going like the duracell bunny, but I'm not actively looking for it. If it happens, it happens.