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Paddy's "Things that cheer you up"


rjw63

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For her birthday my mum has bought her granddaughter, among other things, a small plastic crab that scuttles side to side playing rave music and shouts "haha, you can't catch me".

The crab isn't wrong. The girl's got cerebral palsy.


She tries but can't help but put her foot in it, gave me a good laugh at least. Looking forward to her getting a pogo stick for Christmas.

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46 minutes ago, chrisp65 said:

I think belly button was the best I ever achieved with a swollen glans.

Once managed to get my girlfriend in the eye. Actually, it landed on her glasses, but we were both pretty impressed.

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8 minutes ago, Anthony said:

Once managed to get my girlfriend in the eye. Actually, it landed on her glasses, but we were both pretty impressed.

I got my wife in the face once, which was quite impressive in my eyes at least as we were just finishing doggy style and she looked over her shoulder at the wrong moment.

I say in my eyes, she had jizz in hers.

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5 hours ago, Stevo985 said:

I went to the Costa Drive Thru on my way to work this morning for a coffee and a sausage bap.

The wait was quite long. When I got to the window the guy apologised for the wait and told me he'd put an extra sachet of ketchup in there for my wait.

I don't know if it was a very dry, clever joke that he delivered completely deadpan, or whether he though a completely unnecessary extra sachet of ketchup would actually be of benefit, but either way I laughed out loud as I drove off.

Right, I'm selling my Costa shares. They'll never make any money with staff frivolously giving away stock like that. 😡

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4 hours ago, Stevo985 said:

Not only did I drive but I went to a coffee place that people have actually heard of!!!!!!!!

 

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Waiting for someone to say Costa only sell coffee flavour tat. 

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3 minutes ago, BOF said:

Blind taste test a Costa/Starbucks/Most high street coffee places customer/fanboi and they wouldn't be able to tell one wankerccino from another.

When you get into milky or flavoured drinks, you're probably right. I had a Starbucks latte today and it was fine. Wouldn't touch their coffee as an espresso or filter coffee, but filled with milk and sugar, sure, it does the job.

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4 hours ago, Stevo985 said:

They do actually, but that's a little TOO convenient for me

Could you get delivery to the back of the queue? That would be hilarious to see the others in the queues faces when they bring your coffee and sandwich to your window then just drive off :lol: 

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6 minutes ago, BOF said:

Blind taste test a Costa/Starbucks/Most high street coffee places customer/fanboi and they wouldn't be able to tell one wankerccino from another.

Most of the time I have a Costa I get it from an Express machine at a shop or petrol station. If local high street coffee co puts a coffee machine in these places I’d probably buy theirs, or at least give it a try.

I sometimes use a drive through to collect a free one when i’ve collected enough stamps. I don’t tend to go by foot onto high streets very often to buy, and if I do there’s often huge queues which put me off.

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16 minutes ago, Genie said:

Could you get delivery to the back of the queue? That would be hilarious to see the others in the queues faces when they bring your coffee and sandwich to your window then just drive off :lol: 

I have previously parked up, walked in, got my coffee at the counter, got back in my car and left while about 10 cars continue to wait in the drive thru queue

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17 minutes ago, Genie said:

Could you get delivery to the back of the queue? That would be hilarious to see the others in the queues faces when they bring your coffee and sandwich to your window then just drive off :lol: 

Also it's a one way system. So as funny as your suggestion is, you'd end up just stuck in a queue you didn't need to be in. 

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