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Stevo985

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22.

**** old.

If you have that attitude then you'll become old very quickly. You're ONLY 22. You're a great age to be. You're well out of you teens now, you're working and earning money, you've got some maturity and wisdom built up. Get out there and enjoy your twenties.

"Old" FFS!!

 

 

Pretty much "this"!

 

22 is no age (god, I sound like an old git!). You haven't even hit your peak yet my good friend.Wait until you are a bit older, bit wiser, bit more cash in your pocket with your own place... you'll look back at your early 20's and realise you weren't past it, you hadn't even started! if I had to pick my favourite years in terms of socialising, women, holidays, japes with friends etc then it would probably be from 28-32. Calmed down a little bit recently as they have all been settling down and having kids!

I shoplifted a few times as a kid. Mainly Freddos - small and easy to conceal.

 

I once shoplifted a Lion bar in the hood of my parka. I thought I was Al Capone when I got away with it

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I shoplifted a few times as a kid. Mainly Freddos - small and easy to conceal.

 

when I was a kid I used to collect the little packs of soldiers, the ones 10 / 15 mm high

 

Our local toy department in our local department store had boxes and boxes of the things, but all at different prices. I'd spend my Saturday morning finding the box of soldiers I wanted, then finding the price sticker that was lowest and matching them up. I'd get my pack of commandos or japs or whatever and go through all the boxes, 50p, 55p, 60p yay 40p and take the nicest price sticker and stick it on and go and pay for them. It wasn't done out of mischief at first, i was quite brazen about it. It was months before it occurred to me I might be doing something wrong. Didn't stop me though!

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Stole a chocolate bar from one of the food stands at Alton Towers once because I wasn't going to pay over a £1 for a chocolate bar. About 5 minutes after I felt really guilty and threw the chocolate bar in the nearest bin.

 

I would make a shit criminal.

Edited by Avfc96
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oh, I also stole a milkfloat once, ended up leaving it in someone's garden having mounted the pavement and gone through a wall and a hedge

 

more power than I could handle I guess

 

I have a few friends from Merthyr. Milk float racing around the dairy yard was apparently very popular with the local youths.

 

I worked for one of them. He had a fabulous star shaped scar from when he was shot in the back with a shotgun.

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Stole a chocolate bar from one of the food stands at Alton Towers once because I wasn't going to pay over a £1 for a chocolate bar. About 5 minutes after I felt really guilty and threw the chocolate bar in the nearest bin.

I would make a shit criminal.

Did something similar at Sheffield United away in the cup a few years ago. Masses of people about in those concourses as I'm sure you know, queuing was manic for beer/food as well of course. Now under normal circumstances, and by that I just generally mean being at the football, I would never have done this. But.

I'd took a couple of mates along and was keen to encourage them in to having as good a time as possible. That basically means showing off, right? I was well pissed up, so no problems with that. Got near the front of the queue, chocolate bars there. Girl behind the counter turned when serving the person in front, I grabbed a yorkie for me and me mate. Someone else wanted one, gave him one too. Oh hi you as well ? Sure here you go. At this point I just took the box and they'd all gone in about 3 seconds.

Probably one for the confessions thread, actually :(

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I worked in an off license for a short while

 

I was on duty one day, on my own, when the shop got steamed, about a dozen piled in and started taking the stock. One went to come over the counterr, I produced my persuader from under the counter (a hammer basically) and we agreed he'd stay his side and I'd stay mine.

 

Anyway, they left with wine, beer and sweets but no fags or money.

 

About 2 minutes later whilst I'm on the phone to the police I see one come running back around the corner and into the shop. He put a whole box of sweets back on the counter and explained 'none of us like sherbet', then jogged back out of the shop.

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About 2 minutes later whilst I'm on the phone to the police I see one come running back around the corner and into the shop. He put a whole box of sweets back on the counter and explained 'none of us like sherbet', then jogged back out of the shop.

:crylaugh:

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I worked in an off license for a short while

I was on duty one day, on my own, when the shop got steamed, about a dozen piled in and started taking the stock. One went to come over the counterr, I produced my persuader from under the counter (a hammer basically) and we agreed he'd stay his side and I'd stay mine.

anyway, they left with wine, beer and sweets but no fags or money.

About 2 minutes later whilst I'm on the phone to the police I see one come running back around the corner and into the shop. He put a whole box of sweets back on the counter and explained 'none of us like sherbet', then jogged back out of the shop.

I honestly thought the punchline to the story would be that you then filled a bag with fags and emptied the till and blamed it on the thieves, the actual ending was even better though Edited by Jimzk5
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Doing security in various places, I can think of a few theft attempts.

 

Once a man tried to hold up a burger van at a festival using a banana, the people who were working there weren't taking him seriously so he kicked the burger van and broke his foot. I had to take him to the first aid tent and give him my honest opinion that his idea of suing the company for personal damage was probably the second worse idea he'd had that day.

 

A young lady tried to steal a bin from a supermarket by pretending it was a hat. When I asked her why she wanted to steal a bin her reply was "To put other things I've stolen in to it"...fair enough.

 

And once a very drunk man tried to steal a trailer full of alcohol from a warehouse by trying to push it out of the car park as the as the truck bit wasn't attached. Four months later (This bit was only told to me I didn't see it) he came back and tried the same method albeit on a different trailer and with the help of his friend.

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true story!

really thought at one time that I was going to take a kicking, but we quickly agreed the rules and they stayed their side and I left them to it

 

it's a while ago, so it might not have been sherbet, but it was a box of sweets of some sort, to be fair it was funny enough for it to instantly be a funny story and kind of chilled me out there and then rather than being the scariest day of my life

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I just realised yesterday was my first game under Paul Lambert.

I went mental after we scored. Thought I'd brought some good luck to the proceedings. Hugged a tall guy with an afro next to me but it seemed it was all a false dawn. The next 83 minutes of football was a turgid pile of festering laundry.

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I just realised yesterday was my first game under Paul Lambert.

I went mental after we scored. Thought I'd brought some good luck to the proceedings. Hugged a tall guy with an afro next to me but it seemed it was all a false dawn. The next 83 minutes of football was a turgid pile of festering laundry.

 

When you say tall... how tall are we talking? Say... 6'10"?

 

Just watch out for that one. He's been stalking VT members recently, much to Ingram's disgust.

Edited by Ginko
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I just realised yesterday was my first game under Paul Lambert.

I went mental after we scored. Thought I'd brought some good luck to the proceedings. Hugged a tall guy with an afro next to me but it seemed it was all a false dawn. The next 83 minutes of football was a turgid pile of festering laundry.

When you say tall... how tall are we talking? Say... 6'10"?

He was taller than me but I don't think he was that tall. He smelt lovely as well.

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