AVFC-Prideofbrum Posted January 13, 2010 Share Posted January 13, 2010 I tried sitting, it's just uncomfortable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Condimentalist Posted January 13, 2010 Share Posted January 13, 2010 I've actually been converted as a result of some of the arguments posited on this thread. A reformed stander. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ClaretMahoney Posted January 13, 2010 Share Posted January 13, 2010 Whats really bizzarre is when you do a huge shit and the after you wipe your backside there is seemingly no stains on the tissue.... ...I believe this is called a Ghost Shit. Happens often to me, the remnants are gobbled up the the collapsing anus, after it's been relaxed and closed up. Seated, with one hand round the back. I have always assumed this to be the "orthodox" position and am disturbed by those of you standing. This. I concur. However, (and this is slightly embarrassing), my way to wipe is probably more unorthodox then that.. I use the runway/napkin way (nothing unusual there). Where it gets weird is that my father wasn't around to teach me this childhood lesson. My mother was however, and we all know how women wipe....So I continue to wipe from the front, sitting down, using a conveyor belt. And no, I don't got shit on my balls. The wad would be a terrible way to wipe though. The "planes" of the TP would go every which way with nastiness on tips of paper going anywhere, could lead to some poo on your butt cheek or something. Anyone follow what I'm sayin here? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YLN Posted January 13, 2010 Share Posted January 13, 2010 Whats really bizzarre is when you do a huge shit and the after you wipe your backside there is seemingly no stains on the tissue.... ...I believe this is called a Ghost Shit. Happens often to me, the remnants are gobbled up the the collapsing anus, after it's been relaxed and closed up. Seated, with one hand round the back. I have always assumed this to be the "orthodox" position and am disturbed by those of you standing. This. I concur. However, (and this is slightly embarrassing), my way to wipe is probably more unorthodox then that.. I use the runway/napkin way (nothing unusual there). Where it gets weird is that my father wasn't around to teach me this childhood lesson. My mother was however, and we all know how women wipe....So I continue to wipe from the front, sitting down, using a conveyor belt. And no, I don't got shit on my balls. The wad would be a terrible way to wipe though. The "planes" of the TP would go every which way with nastiness on tips of paper going anywhere, could lead to some poo on your butt cheek or something. Anyone follow what I'm sayin here? Do we all know how women wipe? I thought that their wiping from back to front would get fecal matter on their lady parts causing all sorts of trouble. I use the sheryl crowe or the double square depending on the ply of the roll. Can't imagine the wad. All i imagine is shitty fingernails Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ClaretMahoney Posted January 13, 2010 Share Posted January 13, 2010 Question to you sitters. Have any of you experienced a German toilet, i.e: one that uses "the shelf"? When shitting into such toilets your crap falls onto a shelf mere inches from the place your arse is suspended. It is believed German's use "the shelf" to examine thier crap to ensure it is of uniform size and shape and if not they then adjust their diets accordingly to shit more efficiently. My point being if you are a sitter and were to use the shelf the ods are pretty high that upon dropping your hand down there with the paper for a swipe you will no doubt make hard contact with the shit on the shelf. thoughts? Comments? I had no idea that the Shit Shelf existed in Germany, and I have been there a few times! I never saw one there! I did however see one in Budapest, quite a few there actually (I was there a week or so). Me and my friend had a good laugh about it. The shelves over there weren't as big as the one pictured, and they were lower and further back. So it wouldn't pose any nasty problems for the sitters of the world. Did you lot know that countries such as Japan and Korea have a MUCH lower rate of colon cancer compared to the western world? It's because they shit standing up and that it's healthier for the bowels. IIRC pooing like that doesn't congest your bowels and cause traffic up insider der. Somethin like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ClaretMahoney Posted January 13, 2010 Share Posted January 13, 2010 Whats really bizzarre is when you do a huge shit and the after you wipe your backside there is seemingly no stains on the tissue.... ...I believe this is called a Ghost Shit. Happens often to me, the remnants are gobbled up the the collapsing anus, after it's been relaxed and closed up. Seated, with one hand round the back. I have always assumed this to be the "orthodox" position and am disturbed by those of you standing. This. I concur. However, (and this is slightly embarrassing), my way to wipe is probably more unorthodox then that.. I use the runway/napkin way (nothing unusual there). Where it gets weird is that my father wasn't around to teach me this childhood lesson. My mother was however, and we all know how women wipe....So I continue to wipe from the front, sitting down, using a conveyor belt. And no, I don't got shit on my balls. The wad would be a terrible way to wipe though. The "planes" of the TP would go every which way with nastiness on tips of paper going anywhere, could lead to some poo on your butt cheek or something. Anyone follow what I'm sayin here? Do we all know how women wipe? I thought that their wiping from back to front would get fecal matter on their lady parts causing all sorts of trouble. I use the sheryl crowe or the double square depending on the ply of the roll. Can't imagine the wad. All i imagine is shitty fingernails Fair play yea I guess I don't, I only know how my mother taught me. And I remember her reaching in the front between legs. I basically stop when the ring has ended, before my choad and long before my testies. And yes everyone, my butthole is okay. I stopped taking the Omega 3 pills and the daily vitamins and now I have no problems. Weird eh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roonst83 Posted January 13, 2010 Share Posted January 13, 2010 There's a real threat of some toilet humour being used in this thread.... *hopes for more puns* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VillaAsh Posted January 13, 2010 Share Posted January 13, 2010 13 pages on wiping your arse. VT may have reached a new low... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zenda Posted January 13, 2010 Share Posted January 13, 2010 The problem with wiping sitting down is when you have a big willy and it gets knocked to the side of the toilet bowl due to the movement of wiping the arse. Considering the germs that lurk in t'bog, it's not advisable to risk your snake picking up infections or 'owt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NulliSecundus Posted January 13, 2010 Share Posted January 13, 2010 The problem with wiping sitting down is when you have a big willy and it gets knocked to the side of the toilet bowl due to the movement of wiping the arse. Considering the germs that lurk in t'bog, it's not advisable to risk your snake picking up infections or 'owt. So you've heard Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ClaretMahoney Posted January 13, 2010 Share Posted January 13, 2010 Rrrrright. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Woodytom Posted January 13, 2010 Share Posted January 13, 2010 Can tell weve won **** all for the past 15 years Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
granville Posted January 13, 2010 Share Posted January 13, 2010 The problem with wiping sitting down is when you have a big willy and it gets knocked to the side of the toilet bowl due to the movement of wiping the arse. Considering the germs that lurk in t'bog, it's not advisable to risk your snake picking up infections or 'owt. Have you not tried holding between your thighs? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheWalletInspector Posted January 13, 2010 Share Posted January 13, 2010 13 pages on wiping your arse. VT may have reached a new low... Someone didn't see the Rod Fanni speculation thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PompeyVillan Posted January 13, 2010 Share Posted January 13, 2010 Did you lot know that countries such as Japan and Korea have a MUCH lower rate of colon cancer compared to the western world? It's because they shit standing up and that it's healthier for the bowels. IIRC pooing like that doesn't congest your bowels and cause traffic up insider der. Somethin like that. That just sounds undignified to me. Also, one would assume that the chance of making a mess were higher. Imagine standing for a curry or Guinness shit, carnage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ClaretMahoney Posted January 13, 2010 Share Posted January 13, 2010 ahahahahahaa too true Pompey, too true. however a smelly mess on me ankles > colon cancer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Voinjama Posted January 13, 2010 Share Posted January 13, 2010 And to think some of the contributors on this topic called me wierd. A whole 14 pages which goes into detail on how people wipe their ass Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leviramsey Posted January 13, 2010 VT Supporter Share Posted January 13, 2010 Can you report on how hot chicks wipe their ass? (it has been duly noted that, afaik, none of the Ladies Team has posted in this thread) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ClaretMahoney Posted January 13, 2010 Share Posted January 13, 2010 And to think some of the contributors on this topic called me wierd. A whole 14 pages which goes into detail on how people wipe their ass I just hope you kept your pants on reading thru those 14pages! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Voinjama Posted January 13, 2010 Share Posted January 13, 2010 This is just as wierd as my thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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