Nigel Posted June 4, 2010 VT Supporter Share Posted June 4, 2010 I still remember play time at school, a bit of footy, sneaking a quick cigarette and trying to finger girls behind the bike sheds... I **** loved that caretaker's job. Great joke Rob! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted June 4, 2010 Share Posted June 4, 2010 Got a tip for a horse today Cumbrian Cabbie, 12-1 shot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Milfner Posted June 4, 2010 Share Posted June 4, 2010 Awful Rob, awful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted June 4, 2010 Share Posted June 4, 2010 Too soon? :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villa4europe Posted June 4, 2010 Share Posted June 4, 2010 mass txts sent cheers rob Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villa4europe Posted June 4, 2010 Share Posted June 4, 2010 an israeli spokesman for derrick bird said he was acting in self defence Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villa4europe Posted June 4, 2010 Share Posted June 4, 2010 I was watching the news earlier and the lady from Derrick Birds cab office said, "He seemed a nice chap, quiet but popular. He didn't show any indication he was capable of something like this." I thought to myself, typical **** taxi driver, not indicating. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted June 4, 2010 Share Posted June 4, 2010 Sickipedia fer the win! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted June 4, 2010 Share Posted June 4, 2010 I've got 2 days left of a 6 month tour in Afghanistan, I've been constantly dodging bullets, bombs and mortars. I can't wait to be back home in Cumbria. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted June 4, 2010 Share Posted June 4, 2010 What was the point in Microsoft going to the trouble of creating in private browsing if they then go and blab to all the women in the country about its existence on **** tv adverts? They may as well have got me to star in the ad, caked in sweat with my pants around my ankles grunting "my wife will never know" as I give my cock the beating of its **** life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted June 4, 2010 Share Posted June 4, 2010 After a night on the piss in Whitehaven I threw up in a taxi this morning. I was worried about the cost of valeting the car but the driver generously said "somebody is going to pay for this" before speeding off. What a nice guy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted June 4, 2010 Share Posted June 4, 2010 If you hit me at 40mph there's around an 80% chance I'll die. Hit me at 30mph and there's around an 80% chance I'll live. But if you fire your shotgun at me from your taxi I'm completely ****. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted June 4, 2010 Share Posted June 4, 2010 BBC news: David Cameron to visit Cumbria on Friday. **** pity he wasn't there yesterday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjw63 Posted June 4, 2010 Share Posted June 4, 2010 After hearing about the shootings yesterday I was devastated.. With tears in my eyes I rushed onto google and started to type in Cumbria.. I got half way before the suggestions kicked in.. Next thing I know I'm sat watching Cum In My Arse 4 with my pants round my ankles.. God Bless You Internet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kidlewis Posted June 4, 2010 Share Posted June 4, 2010 some of these are epic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kidlewis Posted June 4, 2010 Share Posted June 4, 2010 Well, that's the last time I get in a Cumbrian taxi and 'call shotgun'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peterms Posted June 4, 2010 Share Posted June 4, 2010 Well, as someone who has no relatives involved in this, or anywhere near, can I say I don't find the "jokes" amusing. The rush to publish seems to have overwhelmed the wit factor, so that something rushed on to on the net tonight is valued over something which shows a trace of humour. And I speak as someone who has no problem at all with tasteless jokes. If they are funny, fine. If they are tedious but posted early, well thanks, but really, why bother? It's like being asked to value an early edition of the Sun on the basis that it's the 2 o'clock edition, not the one the hits the streets, when actually both are total arsewipe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YLN Posted June 5, 2010 Share Posted June 5, 2010 Rio Ferdinand: So Doctor is the knee looking any better after the second scan? Doctor: Go Back to Africa. Rio Ferdinand: Fantastic! The knee is going to be okay then? Doctor: No. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AVFC-Prideofbrum Posted June 5, 2010 Share Posted June 5, 2010 Well, that's the last time I get in a Cumbrian taxi and 'call shotgun'. I liked this one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
privateer Posted June 5, 2010 Share Posted June 5, 2010 Well, as someone who has no relatives involved in this, or anywhere near, can I say I don't find the "jokes" amusing. The rush to publish seems to have overwhelmed the wit factor, so that something rushed on to on the net tonight is valued over something which shows a trace of humour. And I speak as someone who has no problem at all with tasteless jokes. If they are funny, fine. If they are tedious but posted early, well thanks, but really, why bother? It's like being asked to value an early edition of the Sun on the basis that it's the 2 o'clock edition, not the one the hits the streets, when actually both are total arsewipe. I just don't get it, that is too subtle and intelligent a joke for me. I must have missed the start, middle and punchline. Oh no, wait, I get it now! **** classic, nice one mate! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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