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The Apology Thread


tonyh29
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Sorry seems to be the hardest word so I thought we could have a thread where people can make public their apologies for getting something wrong / ever doubting someone

So ....

If you are reading Mrs Cole (my Dentist) I'm sorry I ever doubted you that Amoxycillin would cure my mother of a tooth ache rather than ripping the bastard tooth out

Oh and whilst I'm here I may as well apologise to my wife for coming home at 7 am on Sunday morning after my night out with my school friends tomorrow

anyone else got anything to get off their chest .... ?

PS

Residents of the USA are not allowed to apologise on behalf of their whole nation

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Dear my girlfriend's parents; I'm sorry for getting caught short just as I reached your doorstep after a drunken night out, shitting myself, then rolling the turd down my jeans and into your garden to try and disguise it as something your cat had done.

Dear my parents; I'm sorry I snuck into your bedroom to find the stash of Merlin Premier League 1994/1995 sticker packs you were using as academic incentives, and wound up finding that picture Dad took of Mum.

Dear my cousin; I'm sorry I coloured in that picture of Donatello in the Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles annual you got for your 7th birthday.

Dear Amy Stone; I'm sorry I didn't act more bothered when we broke up in year 6, and am in fact eternally grateful for all those kissing sessions even though at the time I was more interested in playing Zool on your Amiga.

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Dear Lenny Kravitz.

I'm really sorry you slipped over in that pool of piss whislt on stage at Wemberley Stadium in 1998. Some me and some of my esteemed colleagues had launched said 2 litre bottle at Stuart Cable from the Sterophonics and assumed the roadies would have the good grace to clear up between sets.

I hope your white suit washed out ok.

:(

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Well, he did want to fly away.

What a gig that was.

3 Colours Red

The Black Crowes

Stereophonics

Lenny Kravitz

Aerosmith

Stereophonics got dogs abuse for following the Black Crowes who were brilliant and all over the stage. Then the Welsh boys turn up, stand behing a mike and churn out their indy shite. Deserved every single bottle.

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I'm still gutted I missed Daphne & Celeste at the Reading Festival all those years back.

My brother didn't miss that, and he won't offer his apology to them for his actions. They deserved it, and even more surprisgly acknowledged that they clearly shouldn't have been booked to go on that stage. I hope they both had showers afterwards, they must have been very ammonia-y

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I'm sorry to primary school friends Dan, Steve, Saleem and Sean for showing you it's funny to put your hand down your trousers, stick your finger out of your fly to look like a willy and chase girls in the playground. You all got caught doing it and were in trouble with the headmistress and your parents. I didn't get caught and I feel bad. Sorry about that.

I'm sorry to Ryan for not letting you see the small box of 'page 3' clippings our group had when we were 10. I ran home with them to keep them from you and tripped on my driveway. Holding the box I was unable to stop my fall and smashed my face on the floor. My mom heard me crying and came out to see what was happening. I lied and told her you pushed me over and she really told you off. You only wanted to see some boobies and I framed you for bullying. Sorry about that.

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  • VT Supporter

Dear old classmate Pete. Sorry for putting that page out of a German hairy housewives jazz mag in your lunchbox at the end of the lunch break. I did it in the full knowledge that:

A. Your snooty harridan of a mum would find it before you did

B. She'd go apeshit on your ass

C. You'd never guess it was me what put it there.

Actually, scratch that. You were a whiny word removed and you deserved it.

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I'm still gutted I missed Daphne & Celeste at the Reading Festival all those years back.

When you say "you missed" I assume you mean in the Savo Milosovic sense, and not that you didnt attend the festival?

We were at the Leeds venue that same year. Didnt see Daphne & Celeste on stage, but we did happen upon them in the Melody Maker (remember those guys?) autograph tent where again I can confirm they were met with a hail of piss filled paper cups.

Looking back at the footage of the festival now I feel quite bad for the girls actually. They look absolutely terrified when they realise what is about to happen. They cant have been much older than twenty when all of this was going on, and I think whoever booked them to play to that crowd did a really shitty job.

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I can't believe how quick some people are to throw their own piss at people. It's not like they killed anyone, they're just musical artists, although I use the term loosely in Daphne and Celeste's case of course.

I apologise to my two university friends Tom and Mef, who saw me drunkenly pissing up a wall on the walk home from town one night and decided that it was safe to do the same. I finished as they just started up and a police car came round the corner and caught them in the act whilst I got away scot-free.

I'm also sorry to Lauren Cliff for wiping a huge load of phlegm I coughed up on the back of her chair at the age of 6, and then drawing attention to it, blaming it on her for being gross.

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