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Paddy's "Things that cheer you up"


rjw63

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Karen Matthews gets out of jail today. It's not that that made me chuckle, it's my missus's quip:

(TV news report): "Karen Matthews says she's been missing sex in prison"

Me: "I'd have thought you could get plenty of sex in prison, if you're not fussy about who it's with"

Mrs M (without missing a beat): "If you can't find a partner, use a wooden chair..."

:lol::clap:

This made me laugh quite a bit!!!!! And it cheered me up. Also, talking to my papa *grandfather*. Just a seriously wonderful man who doesn't have to do much to make things great.

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Two wins in three weeks.

I knew without reading any further this wasn't going to be related to AVFC.

EDIT: Just realised, that could be 2 wins in 3 months and would still not be relevant to Villa :-(

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Alex Jones on the One Show. Horrible top, but cracking rack.

however nice her rack is - when she opens her mouth all attraction goes out of the window!

Unless you are Frank Lampard that is and then the size of her mouth becomes a bonus.

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Alex Jones on the One Show. Horrible top, but cracking rack.

however nice her rack is - when she opens her mouth all attraction goes out of the window!

Unless you are Frank Lampard that is and then the size of her mouth becomes a bonus.

thought that was Christine Bleakley?

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Alex Jones on the One Show. Horrible top, but cracking rack.

however nice her rack is - when she opens her mouth all attraction goes out of the window!

Unless you are Frank Lampard that is and then the size of her mouth becomes a bonus.

thought that was Christine Bleakley?

Damn, another good joke ruined by factually correct information. :D

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Alex Jones on the One Show. Horrible top, but cracking rack.

however nice her rack is - when she opens her mouth all attraction goes out of the window!

Oi I have Welsh heritage.... that accent is lovely.

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Alex Jones on the One Show. Horrible top, but cracking rack.

however nice her rack is - when she opens her mouth all attraction goes out of the window!

Oi I have Welsh heritage.... that accent is lovely.

Hers isn't (IMO)

sounds like a screach owl on heat....

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It's funny, when Tom Jones was on the One Show a few weeks ago, my dad said "You listen to them, if you put two Welsh people together their accents get even worse" and they did.

I guess I can't stand the Welsh accent because of my driving instructor, he was like an even whinier Jonathan Davies

On a side note, I just realised how much my driving instructor looked like Nigel Thornberry

275165_100002597932346_6797151_n.jpg

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It's funny, when Tom Jones was on the One Show a few weeks ago, my dad said "You listen to them, if you put two Welsh people together their accents get even worse" and they did.
True, but you could say the same about two brummies or two scousers or two geordies. It's what people do.
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Or Mrs E with any other regional accent. She starts to pick it up immediatly. Its going to get her thumped eventually because her bristolian just sounded like she was taking the piss.

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Or Mrs E with any other regional accent. She starts to pick it up immediatly. Its going to get her thumped eventually because her bristolian just sounded like she was taking the piss.
I think most people do that too. There's probably some evolutionary reason for it.
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It's known as Communication Accomodation Theory, or convergence and it's when you subconsciously adopt the accent of whoever you're talking to in order to ensure good communication. It's all class-based, so for example, Upwards Convergence would be somebody with say a working-class accent, generally the northern accents, talking to someone with what would be considered a higher-class accent, such as someone who speaks with Received Pronunciation (a.k.a The Queen's English or BBC English) and for the northerner to adopt aspects of RP in order to ensure fluid communication and no doubt various other reasons.

Likewise, Downwards Convergence would be someone with a higher-class accent changing their accent to what is conceived as a lower-class accent, something which my dad does on a regular basis but he doesn't do it subtly at all. He can't help it, he just does it, but it's cringing as hell.

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I do the accent thing. I don't do it with all words, but only some that are really distinctive and especially with Bristolian and Scottish accents.

When I become aware of what I'm doing, I do it even more. I work with people from all over the country and as a result I have quite the repertoire of accents.

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