First Memory

[mjmooney]

24 minutes ago, Demitri_C said:

Mine was and I do remember it quite clearly I was sleeping in my bed with my superman covers then i just heard loud noises from above and I shit myself . My mum came in and said it was okay. I said i thought it was a giant treading on houses and my was explaining was just a bad storm and thundering.

I hate to break this to you, but it was actually your parents shagging. 

[Demitri_C]

5 minutes ago, mjmooney said:

I hate to break this to you, but it was actually your parents shagging. 

You sick man !

[choffer]

20 minutes ago, mjmooney said:

I hate to break this to you, but it was actually your parents shagging. 

That is actually one of my earliest memories. 

We always used to climb into bed with my parents when we were younger. A few years ago, I had a flashback to doing so and feeling entirely unwelcome, only to then wonder why neither of them were wearing anything in bed. The sudden realisation all those years later of what they were up to at the time. About nine months later, my brother was born. I still rib him that I was there at his conception.

[lapal_fan]

16 minutes ago, choffer said:

That is actually one of my earliest memories. 

We always used to climb into bed with my parents when we were younger. A few years ago, I had a flashback to doing so and feeling entirely unwelcome, only to then wonder why neither of them were wearing anything in bed. The sudden realisation all those years later of what they were up to at the time. About nine months later, my brother was born. I still rib him that I was there at his conception.

  

I was conceived in a caravan in Devon (apparently, I wasn't there to check), but that's what my parents swear.

Only, my brother would have been 5 at the time, a mere curtain and 3 foot away   

Other early memories;

I went to a nursery in Halesowen before school.  I remember winning a sports day race, beating a ginger kid called Billy Davies.. I remember running and looking down at my black pumps thinking "this is so fast". 

At the same nursery, my mom was talking to another adult, let's presume she was a nursery nurse, and it was a really nice summer evening.  My mom was holding me at the time (so I was small) and I remember seeing wasps flying around a nest and being nervous enough to say "can we go, the wasps will sting me", and my mom just brushing the comment off.  I got stung and we went into the nursery room with me crying and having a cold square of first aid pad swilled in cold water on my arm. 

I remember going into my brothers primary school and crying because I couldn't stay with him (I was too young). 

I remember listening to, and remembering one of my brothers weird cassette tape songs which was some weird punk song that went "I've got poo poo on my shoe, I've got poo poo on my shoe SHIT MAN! SHIT MAN!" - I got in trouble for singing it around the house   

I remember playing a subbuteo type game with a red and blue ball, which ever colour landed face up, that team had the next kick type thing.  Anyway, it was my go and I was on all fours over the carpet board thing, and I guffed right in my dads snout.  I got such a slapped arse for that.  It's not bad though because since then I have never farted in anyone else's nose before. 

All of these are before I was 4 I guess. 

[bickster]

6 minutes ago, lapal_fan said:

  

I was conceived in a caravan in Devon (apparently, I wasn't there to check), but that's what my parents swear.

 

 

My daughter was conceived after a drunken night at a Craig Charles stand-up night

We remind her of this every time we see him walking down the street and she's with us. 

 

I usually get punched shortly after

[lapal_fan]

 Why my brother had this, I'll never know.. 

I didn't exactly know what it was, but I was playing with his portable cassette player and just putting in all the cassettes he had in his cassette case, this was one of them  

[dAVe80]

I have a very vague memory of playing in the kitchen, with one of those toy dogs, where you press its hat down, and then it goes scooting off. My first vivid memory was going to Drayton Manor on my birthday. I woke up in the morning, and was told it was my birthday, and where did I want to go. I must have heard the name Drayton Manor somewhere, so my parents rang round the family. My Nan made a packed lunch, and away we went.

[choffer]

I do remember moving to Birmingham when I was about 3ish. My main memory is of being invited round to the next door neighbours that afternoon and being offered orange squash for the first time. What a lovely old couple Ron and Eileen were, even though they got me into trouble by telling me I could have a second malted milk biscuit. My mother had never been so embarrassed in her life when I accepted the offer. Every boy should know that one biscuit was enough and now our new neighbours would think I was just a greedy little boy.

[Demitri_C]

5 hours ago, choffer said:

That is actually one of my earliest memories. 

We always used to climb into bed with my parents when we were younger. A few years ago, I had a flashback to doing so and feeling entirely unwelcome, only to then wonder why neither of them were wearing anything in bed. The sudden realisation all those years later of what they were up to at the time. About nine months later, my brother was born. I still rib him that I was there at his conception.

Hilarous 

[Xela]

I remember my first day at prep school. I was 3 years and 3 months. 

Kitted out in shorts, green blazer and green cap I was a right bobby dazzler. Unfortunately I cried all day and bit one of the teachers (who used to be an extra in Crossroads) on the arm. She may have swore at me. 

Edited May 2, 2018 by Xela

[HanoiVillan]

5 hours ago, choffer said:

I do remember moving to Birmingham when I was about 3ish. My main memory is of being invited round to the next door neighbours that afternoon and being offered orange squash for the first time. What a lovely old couple Ron and Eileen were, even though they got me into trouble by telling me I could have a second malted milk biscuit. My mother had never been so embarrassed in her life when I accepted the offer. Every boy should know that one biscuit was enough and now our new neighbours would think I was just a greedy little boy.

What a troubled childhood you seem to have had!

[il_serpente]

Watching  a drunken @lapalfan piss all over a chaise longue after being teased about his spelling.

[mjmooney]

2 hours ago, Xela said:

I remember my first day at prep school. I was 3 years and 3 months. 

Kitted out in shorts, green blazer and green cap I was a right bobby dazzler. Unfortunately I cried all day and bit one of the teachers (who used to be an extra in Crossroads) on the arm. She may have swore at me. 

Alex does his best to ignore the rough boys. 

[BillyShears]

For Bickster.

Earliest memory for me is my Mum letting us kids into the front room (we were never allowed in there, apart from Christmas/special occasions) to watch The Beatles perform 'I Want To Hold Your Hand'' on 'Thank Your Lucky Stars'. I think.

[choffer]

2 hours ago, HanoiVillan said:

What a troubled childhood you seem to have had!

You don’t know the half of it. It’s a good job though that after all that therapy, I’ve put it all behind me and hardly ever mention it. 

[Mandy Lifeboats]

Falling down stairs and fracturing my skull. 

Luckily there was no lasting damage. 

The goblin that lives in my head used his magic to make me better. 

Spoons. 

[PriceyDownunder]

I have two; and I've never really known which one came first.

My first day at Nursery school, I was distraught. My mum held me and passed me to the teacher, who was somewhat pregnant (I'm told) at the time.

I kicked and kicked until the teacher put me down (quickly, I hope). I have no recollection after that.

The other is of my older sister and I standing at the bottom of the stairs in our house and convincing our younger sister to roll herself down the stairs. Which she did, gambol style. I think she went to hospital but no major injuries.

I have no idea which came first but I do know we lived in the same house for both occasions...

[John]

I remember running in from the garden and tripping up on the stone step into the kitchen landing head first onto a pair of scissors I had in my hand. Blood flowed and the scissors wedged into my chin. I had a couple of stitches and can still see the mark it left over half a century later in a good light. This all went to prove that children really shouldn't run with scissors .

Edited May 3, 2018 by John

[bickster]

9 hours ago, BillyShears said:

For Bickster.

Earliest memory for me is my Mum letting us kids into the front room (we were never allowed in there, apart from Christmas/special occasions) to watch The Beatles perform 'I Want To Hold Your Hand'' on 'Thank Your Lucky Stars'. I think.

Child abuse!

[Zatman]

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