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What Song Are You Listening To Right Now?


Xann

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First we got the bomb and that was good

Cause we love peace and motherhood

Then Russia got the bomb, but that's OK

Cause the balance of power's maintained that way

Who's next?

France got the bomb, but don't you grieve

Cause they're on our side, I believe

China got the bomb, but have no fears

They can't wipe us out for at least five years

Who's next?

Then Indonesia said that they

Were gonna get one any day

South Africa wants two, that's right,

One for the black and one for the white

Who's next?

Egypt's gonna get one too

Just to use on you-know-who

So Israel's getting tense, wants one in self-defense

The Lord's our shepherd, says the psalm

But just in case, we better get the bomb

Who's next?

Luxembourg is next to go,

And who knows, maybe Monaco

We'll try to stay serene calm

When Alabama gets the bomb

Who's next, who's next, who's next?

Who's next?

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More Tom Lehrer, this time

It seems that most of the songs you hear on the radio these days, apart from rock and roll and other childrens' records, tend to be motion picture title songs. Apparently producers feel that we will not attend their movies unless we have the titles well-drilled into our heads in advance. Of course, we don't go anyway, but at least this way they make back on the song some of what they lost on the picture.

With the rise of the motion picture title song, we've had such hits in the past few years as "The Ten Commandments Mambo", "Brothers Karamazov Cha-Cha", and "Incredible Shrinking Man, I Love You." I'm sure you're all familiar with these, but a few years ago, a motion picture version appeared of Sophocles' immortal tragedy, Oedipus Rex. This picture played only in the so-called art theatres and it was not a financial success.

I maintain that the reason it was not a financial success was that it did not have a title tune which the people could hum and which might actually make them want to attend this particular flick. So, I have attempted to supply this need, and here then is the prospective title song for Oedipus Rex:

From the Bible to the popular song,

There's one theme that we find right along.

Of all the ideals they hail as good,

The most sublime is motherhood.

There once was a man, though, who it seems

Once carried this ideal to extremes.

He loved his mother and she loved him,

And yet his story is rather grim.

There once was a man named Oedipus Rex.

You might have heard about his odd complex.

His name appears in Freud's index

'Cause he loved his mother.

His rivals used to say quite a bit

That as a monarch he was most unfit,

But still in all, they had to admit

That he loved his mother.

Yes he loved his mother like no other:

His daughter was his sister and his son was his brother.

One thing on which you can depend is

He sure knew who a boy's best friend is!

When he found what he had done

He tore his eyes out one by one:

A tragic end to a loyal son

Who loved his mother.

So be sweet and kind to mother,

Now and then have a chat.

Buy her candy or some flowers or a brand new hat.

But maybe you had better let it go at that.

Or you may find yourself in a quite complex complex,

And you may end up like Oedipus

(I'd rather marry a duckbilled platypus

Than end like old Oedipus Rex).

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