Mandy Lifeboats

I am a bit OCD and I've decided that all of the problems in this country could be solved if we made the UK symmetrical. I've now finalised my plans and I am ready to start it off. Stage 1 Birmingham. This would remain unchanged initially and would be the central point from which symetry would be measured. Stage 2 London. It's the biggest city so we leave it where it is. It would be stupid to move a city as big as London. Stage 3. Bristol and Cardiff would be merged and moved to a new location that makes a symmetrical triangle with Brum and London. This might be somewhere in the Bristol channel but we'll be filling a lot of that in to make the Severn and the Thames match. Stage 4. Liverpool. Moved slightly to ensure symetry with Bristodiff (see above). The Mersey would be altered to match the Thames and the Severn. Stage 5. Hull. The last of the 4 cities that will form a square around Brum. It might need to be moved a bit. Stage 6. Edinburgh stays in the same position. Now we have the easy stuff sorted we can tackle the more difficult stuff. Stage 7. We need to create a symmetrical equivalent to Edinburgh. But to do s, it will need to be in France. Invasion is a possibility but could get messy. Much better to swap most of Wales with them. Flattening Wales to be symmetrical with East Anglia is going to be time consuming so we avoid that problem. Stage 8. Decide whether to fill in the Channel or dig a symmetrical version north of Hull & Liverpool and south of Edinburgh. Filling in the channel would assist with the invasion (Stage 7) and provide a place to put all the rubble from the Welsh mountains (see above). I'm not sure of the best option for Stage 9. Does anyone have any suggestions?* *Find a good psychiatrist is already in progress.

Mornington Crescent World Championship 1994. The UK player was in nidd and all the laterals were blocked. The Germans amazingly missed the open flank and played Marylebone. Amazing stuff. What a victory. Villatalk really should have a Mornington Crescent thread. I am sure we have many amateur players on here.

Eubank v Benn. 1st fight 1990 (?) 2 people who genuinely hated one another. The match was a brutal affair. After his victory a TV commentator asked Eubank how he felt. Eubank answered "I need to go to the hospital". He did. Euro 96 and Olympics 2012. Two events that brought the country together and gave us something to be proud of. NFL on Channel 4 on a Sunday night in the 80s. Steve Bull's career. Why isn't this a movie? Rejected by WBA he moved to Wolves for a tiny fee. His goals led Wolves from the verge of bankruptcy in the old D4 to D2. He stayed loyal despite big money offers and played for England. Tipton's version of Roy Of The Rovers.

I've spent the day birdwatching with Sinead O'Connor. We've seen 7 owls and 16 jays.

When you realise that the attendances at Villa Park next season will exceed the attendances at St Andrews with 2 clubs playing there.

I suggest the badge could be improved by a few minor tweaks. The lion should be standing in front of a shield displaying Robbie Savage's severed head. The lion should have the severed head of Robbie Savage in his mouth and be standing on a pile of severed heads that resemble Robbie Savage. Just a suggestion.

Hancock's Half Hour. Still funny and relevant to today's world. The London 2012 Opening Ceremony. I fully expected our Olympics to be an embarrassing shambles. I was wrong. The show blew me away and is one of those shows that will always be in my memory. Villa European Cup win. I was only 11 but I remember every kick. Sitting on the floor in front of a TV that was tiny by today's standards. House. Not everyone's cup other tea. But it's unusual for an American comedy to use sarcasm athe it's core. Fawlty Towers. You started it. Operation Good Guys. A lesser known improvised Police comedy. The Clangers. It still reminds me of childhood. The World At War. This should be on the curriculum for every schoolchild. Lawrence Olivier's commentary is just stunning. Deep Space 9 - the dominion wars. I hate 90% of Star Trek but these episodes were fabulous. Morecombe & Wise Christmas Shows. So many classic moments and so many memories.

I am on holiday with Mrs Lifeboats in Cyprus. A few days ago we were pondering a visit to a tourist attraction. "Don't worry," declares Mrs Lifeboats "I saw that yesterday. I know where it is". She is to navigation what Myra Hindley is to babysitting and I should have known better. So off we trot and 15 minutes later we arrive at the local bus station. I am thinking something must be wrong because Mrs Lifeboats regards all forms of public transport as disease ridden cess pits. Is she really taking us on a bus ride? "Err.........I saw this yesterday and thought it must be a tourIst attraction because of ALL THE BUSES THAT KEPT ARRIVING FULL OF PEOPLE.

You are not alone. You are feeling low at the moment and that's not the right time to make any decisions. Get help. Get out of the house and do something. Cookery courses are always good. You get to meet new people. Even if none become friends you have still learnt a skill that will help you make friends. Life can be shit but the alternative (in my opinion) is nothing

I recommend 1 of these 3 options. I have done all. Stay at Disney Hotels. They are expensive but you get the benefit of free Disney transport. Stay on International Drive. Cheaper than Disney but a bit further away. Most hotels provide some transport to the parks. Restaurants are cheaper than Disney. Rent a villa. The cheapest option for large groups or out of season. I normally go in November and can rent a private villa for about the same as a decent hotel room. But you need to rent a car. Self catering is much cheaper if you use it for breakfasts and evening meals. It's hard to beat the 14 day Disney passes for park entrance.

Cuckoo clock = DEFCON1. Although my team has absolutely nothing to do with this......some new matters have emerged. I am due to go abroad for a month on Saturday. But the date changed at short notice. The cuckoo clock installer was unaware of the date change. I understand that this is just the tip of the iceberg and was planned to occur during my absence. I held a meeting and said that I would be disappointed if it went too far. One of the team reminded me that in 1990 he went on leave and I made a trifle in his desk drawer. He's correct. I did. Sponge, jelly, custard, cream and sprinkles. I am now wondering what the hell is planned during my abscence.

It's been almost 2 years since I posted this story. Since then the offending cuckoo clock was removed. Peace was made and both departments put this behind us. Today a complaint hit my in-box. The annoying cuckoo clock has been reinstalled in our rivals office.

10 Leeds players stand motionless and let Villa score an easy goal. That's fair play. 11 Blouses do the same with Alan Hutton. That's because they're sh1t.

Leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerooooooooooy Jenkins.

There goes my plan to have Sarkic getting his first Villa hat trick as a centre forward.

Its not clear to me if it's 10 players or 10 outfield players. That makes a difference to us. If it's outfield players it's clearly to stop teams playing goalkeepers out of position just to see out the season

If we get through the playoffs - we get to see Smith put together a team to keep us there. I think he can. If we don't - we get to see Smith put together a team to win the Championship without spending a forune. I think he can. My cup of optimism is definitely half full.

Which is why I didn't use the word! There was absolutely no need to do so and I knew I would cause offence if I did. I think you may have misinterpreted my usage of the word "discussion". It was meant to imply a sensible and proportionate face to face communication in context. It was not meant to infer it would be reasonable in forum post that might be considered a discussion.

A perfect answer. In the original Dambusters film the squadron had a dog with a racist name. I should be able to tell people what that word was if we are discussing the topic of outdated language in films.

The problem with mental illness is that you try to resolve your problems but your illness stops you making the best decisions. If I had a broken leg I wouldn't ask to be treated by a doctor who was under stress, worried about the future and anxious. Yet someone with a mental illness will try to self help and/or self medicate. Get help. Get help with your finances. Get help with your underlying condition. Get help with your stress. All the best @Chindie. You are not "mental". You are ill/injured and that's nothing to be ashamed of. Been there.....done that......denied I needed help......reached crisis.....swallowed my pride and got help. My only regret is not getting help sooner.

They eat vegetation of some kind. But it's not a simple calculation. If I kill a hedgehog and eat it I have killed 1 animal. If I grow potatoes I might kill 2 worms whilst planting them. But what about the fleas that lived on the hedgehog? What about the slugs I saved by killing the hedgehog? The point I was making was that everything we eat probably involves the death of an animal at some stage. But we place more value on certain animals. It's easy to say 1 sheep died for my lamb hock. You will never now how may animals actually died for a lamb hock or a lettuce.

It's an interesting debate whether a vegan/vegetarian diet leads to more animal deaths. Crops are treated with pesticides. Fields are ploughed killing mice, moles, worms, beetles etc. Massive greenhouses are built on agricultural land preventing wild life from using the natural resources of that land. How many cows died to give me the meat on my burger? But how many insects and slugs died to give me the lettuce and tomato on my burger? We place a value on animal life based upon the size and intelligence of the animal. But we also take into account whether it looks nice. A grey squirrel is nothing more than a rat but it's get a better PR advisor. I have absolutely nothing against anyone based upon their diet. You don't eat cows, I don't eat rats. It's pretty irrelevant in my opinion.

https://www.efl.com/-more/governance/efl-rules--regulations/appendix-5---financial-fair-play-regulations/ To answer the post above regarding gifts. Putting it simply special rules apply to the owners, their associates and other companies connected to them. If the EFL feels something is an abuse they can assign it a realistic market value. But if someone not connected to the club decided to pay £1000 for a simple shirt - that's fine. If a director paid £1000 it could be adjusted to £60. Get every player to sign it and it might be £1000. Paying for 10 seasons in advance would not help. It might be accounted over the 10 years period. Or its accounted in one year and then we lose the benefit for the next 9.

I was introduced to one of the Gladiators cast at a corporate event for the NIA. A colleague didn't watch the show and misheard the introduction. He spent the rest of the evening calling him Wilf. No-one corrected him. Not even Wilf.

@Chindie You might be entitled to Employment Support Allowance, Universal Credit or Personal Independence Payments. I'm no expert but Citizen Advice and gov.uk both have information. Check them out. Don't assume you are not entitled. The only thing you stand to lose is the time it takes to make the claim.