There's way more nuance in lots of Rugby decisions than you seem to think, it's very similar to football in many regards.
The respect of refs in rugby comes from the fact they explain their decisions constantly. That fundamentally does not happen in football at all levels. This is where the frustration is born from and the lack of respect. Football refs don't ever need to justify their actions which is why it's so annoying when decisions are given against you. When you ask why a decision was made many times a player is simply waved away.... That's not respect. If refs want to be respected in football they need to earn it.
Unfortunately they are not required to.