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villaajax

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9EcjWd-O4jI

 

*The Techno rhythm hits and 2quartz pops out from behind the curtain dancing like the people in the above video, watch it if you don't know what that looks like.*

 

2Q: Pump up the jam! Pump it up! While your feet are stomping! And the jam is pumping! Look ahead, the crowd is jumpin'

 

*They're not but still 2quartz continues putting more effort in now than before*

2Q: Pump it up a lot more! Get the party goin' on the dance floor! See, 'cause that's where the party's at! And (Getting frustrated by the crowd's non-reaction) you'd find out if you do that!

 

*Some people try to usher 2quartz in to a little box that someone has written 'Shelter'across the top of it with a green felt tip but 2quartz wriggles free from them*

2Q: I don't want! A place to stay! Get your booty on the floor tonight! Make my day,,,and night!

 

*2quartz looks at four individual audience members and addresses them individually*

 

2Q: Make my day (They turn away), Make my day (They turn away), Make my day (They turn away), Make my day (They turn away), 

 

*Finally 8pints makes an appearance, never thought we'd be pleased to see this guy, grabs 2quartz by the scruff of his neck and tosses him in to the ring*

 

8P: What are you doing, you tiny twix bar!?

2Q: Is that a racial slur!?

8P:  It's just the way I speak, I've had a few drinks--

2Q: --You know what I mean!

8P:  Of course it isn't!

2Q: Good. Otherwise I'd tell Sol Campbell about you!

8P:  Don't be bringing him up!

2Q: He's nice to me, he showed me his badge collection--

8P:  --I know, I know, you told me and I told you to shut up about it!

2Q: FIne.

8P:  You're the one who says don't bring race in to it and then you're always bringing race in to it, you've been hanging around with--

2Q: --I get ya. You should start talking about more of your Irish side, or maybe about both sides together?

8P:  I could present myself as the Phil Lynott of VTW!?

2Q: Or the Samantha Mumba?

8P:  Forget it.

2Q: If you say so. What are we doing out here anyway?

8P:  I'm only out here stopping you dancing about like the Disco Dwarf! I don't know what you're doing out here!

2Q: I've forgotten now.

8P:  Typical.

2Q: Any news on 55stripes?

8P:  No, what about you?

2Q: None at all.

 

*Both sigh*

 

2Q + 8P:  Pub!?

 

*They both nod and begin their exit*

2Q: *To himself* Pump up the jam! Pump it up! Pump it up! Yo! Pump it! Pump up the jam! Pump it up! Pump it up! Yo! Pump up the jam! Pump it up! Pump it up! Yo! Pump it! Pump up the jam! Pump it!

 

*8pints slaps 2quartz across the back of the head as they disappear behind the curtain which concludes arguably their most pointless promo ever! And that's got some stiff competition...i.e; every single one of their promos!*

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