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How long before you ask someone to marry you?

NulliSecundus

By NulliSecundus
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What is a reasonable time for someone to decide marriage is right?  

67 members have voted

  1. 1. What is a reasonable time for someone to decide marriage is right?

    • < 1 month
      0
    • 1-6 months
      3
    • 6 months to a year
      4
    • 1-2 years
      14
    • 2-3 years
      10
    • 3-5 years
      13
    • > 5 years
      11
    • Marriage? Pah, never!
      12

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NulliSecundus Newbie

NulliSecundus

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I guess it also depends on the age you are.

If early twenties, then you still have lots to learn - by mid 30's, you know more or less what you like/don't like and therefore will not waste your time getting to know someone you basically have nothing in common with.

Has your mate has other relationships - If so, how long did these last.

Anyway, in answer to your question - 4 months seems very keen indeed, but if he believes this is the women for him, then so be it.

Yeah I'd say it definitely depends on the age! Me and him are early 20's so I'd say if you've got that time use it to make up your mind!

As far as I know, this is his first 'proper' girlfriend, which makes it all the more bewildering IMO.

Edit: MJ - obviously everyone is different. As Ive said though 21 years old and AFAIK his first proper girlfirend, it does seem a bit extreme!

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Shillzz Newbie

Shillzz

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My thinking being that I wouldnt mind having kids, but marriage is not on the agenda if it is at all avoidable.

The mrs' thinking being that she can blackmail me into getting married before she'll have kids! Crafty sod.

:lol:

My missus never mentioned marriage until the little man arrived, now she doesnt shut up about it. My arguement is whats the rush.

Its like a bear trap, i can see its there, but ill still end up walking over it at some point in the future. Foolishly.

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GarethRDR Veteran

GarethRDR

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Do you get to do her up the wrong 'un?

If so, ask immediately

Again, he spoils such a well constructive and serious topic. Ah well, I hit 1-2 years.

Are you kidding? Anal sex after marriage is a serious topic. Just because two people have made a lifetime commitment does not mean they should abandon all experimentation in the bedroom, quite the opposite; who better to trust with the lube than the one you truly love?

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Genie Grand Master

Genie

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Do you get to do her up the wrong 'un?

If so, ask immediately

Again, he spoils such a well constructive and serious topic. Ah well, I hit 1-2 years.

Are you kidding? Anal sex after marriage is a serious topic. Just because two people have made a lifetime commitment does not mean they should abandon all experimentation in the bedroom, quite the opposite; who better to trust with the lube than the one you truly love?

Stefan Postma, is that you?

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MCU Proficient

MCU

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Do you get to do her up the wrong 'un?

If so, ask immediately

Again, he spoils such a well constructive and serious topic. Ah well, I hit 1-2 years.

Are you kidding? Anal sex after marriage is a serious topic. Just because two people have made a lifetime commitment does not mean they should abandon all experimentation in the bedroom, quite the opposite; who better to trust with the lube than the one you truly love?

Stefan Postma, is that you?

LOL.

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mjmooney Grand Master

mjmooney

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Edit: MJ - obviously everyone is different. As Ive said though 21 years old and AFAIK his first proper girlfirend, it does seem a bit extreme!
Oh I agree. I wasn't suggesting he do what I did. The age thing makes all the difference. I would never have done that at 21 or with a first girlfriend.

In our case I guess we just "knew". We've had some ups and downs for sure (inevitable in any long-term relationship), but I think time has proved us right.

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b6bloke Newbie

b6bloke

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I am sorry but 4 months is way too soon!! Can you really get to know someone in that time?

She could be a right bitch and has kept it up for 4 months, would be shocked if they wasn't planning kids already.

We have all rushed into relationships thinking that you would be together forever and how many times has that fell on its face and you are sitting there crying wondering what went wrong :lol:

Nothing you will say will change his mind as your mangina is not appealing as her .... well you know what I mean :lol:

As a mate just be there for him and support him because anything else and he will turn on you in my opinion though you can slip in the odd comment.

I was dating a girl who was amazing, she was the best thing since stiffed crust pizza :lol: but 5 months in she told me she was pregnant, I was shocked as she said she was on the pill *doh" she turned out to be a bitch from hell and later admitted she did it on purpose as she put it "someone to pay the bills" I have no regrets as I have an amazing son but 18 years of hell off her and even now I wonder how I fell for her scam. I split with her when he was 2 and should have done it earlier but she found another victiom but sent him bankrupt.

Always remember bumping in to him in a bar and he brought me a beer and said "you know I could never understand why you didn't seem bothered about her leaving you for me until after 12 months when she showed what she was really like"

So 4 months is too soon in my opinion

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Dante_Lockhart Veteran

Dante_Lockhart

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Everyone is different, every relationship is different. If you want to get married (in general), and feel you would be happy to spend the rest of your life with her then go for it.

I will add, ive been with my missus for 2 years now, we have a beautiful baby boy and have lived together for about 18 months. I will be popping the question at any moment as i am perfectly happy with what i have and would wish for nothing more.

This, but without the baby and I have already proposed.

Basically met her in June 2008, she basically moved in by September, I proposed in February 2010 and we're getting married in April 2012.

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ender4 Grand Master

ender4

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I read the question too quickly and put 5 years but would like to change that to 2-3 years. I thought to start with, the question asked...how long till you get married...

Anyway, I think 2-3 years is about right...then married in the 5th year.

thats just weird.

once you ask someone to marry you, surely you go & get married, not wait 3 years to get married.

i've always found that really strange.

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wiggyrichard Newbie

wiggyrichard

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I read the question too quickly and put 5 years but would like to change that to 2-3 years. I thought to start with, the question asked...how long till you get married...

Anyway, I think 2-3 years is about right...then married in the 5th year.

thats just weird.

once you ask someone to marry you, surely you go & get married, not wait 3 years to get married.

i've always found that really strange.

Why?

Money, jobs etc. There are arseloads of things that come in to play and need to be thought about before you marry.

Do you realise how much it costs? :shock:

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AVFC-Prideofbrum Newbie

AVFC-Prideofbrum

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I read the question too quickly and put 5 years but would like to change that to 2-3 years. I thought to start with, the question asked...how long till you get married...

Anyway, I think 2-3 years is about right...then married in the 5th year.

thats just weird.

once you ask someone to marry you, surely you go & get married, not wait 3 years to get married.

i've always found that really strange.

These things take time. (I think!)

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