How long before you ask someone to marry you?

[NulliSecundus]

Before you ask, a comet is not coming to earth and marrying someone will save them so that is a null argument.

However, my mate from University (one of my best ones at that) has proposed to his girlfriend after 4 MONTHS. Am I the only one that doesn't think this is a bit, rushed?! He must have had one hell of a summer!

I've been with my girlfriend for over 4 years now, I certainly wouldn't have asked her 4 months in! We're completely different people, not to mention I've grown up (and out) a bit !

I personally would ask tomorrow if I could afford that thing that they want with the question, that really expensive - harvested by slaves - thing. For that reason I've put 2-3 years (it is only just 4 years)

So what do people think to this?

I will put a poll up. If you're married, you can put what it was like for you OR what you think is a reasonable time for you to judge whether this person is good enough to spend the rest of their life with you and visa versa!

[TrentVilla]

A bit rushed? Yeah your probably the only one who classes that as a bit rushed as most would I think see that as totally **** mental.

[CarewsEyebrowDesigner]

Never!

[wiggyrichard]

Everyone is different, every relationship is different. If you want to get married (in general), and feel you would be happy to spend the rest of your life with her then go for it.

I will add, ive been with my missus for 2 years now, we have a beautiful baby boy and have lived together for about 18 months. I will be popping the question at any moment as i am perfectly happy with what i have and would wish for nothing more.

[ThunderPower_14]

Well i'm about to ask and i'm 7.5 years in, but we were only 16 when we started going out and we've recently built a house so I didn't have any spare money for a ring.

Do it when it feels right.

[Shillzz]

Ive just 'celebrated' my 6 year anniversary with my current mrs. We're not married, though she goes on about it.

Im not particularly fussed on the whole affair personally, and am reluctant to splash £10k + on what is essentially 1 day of being centre of attention. Given that im quite adverse to attention anyway, the whole wedding concept doesnt appeal to me.

That said, i'd quite happily entertain the idea of having kids in a year or two.

[NulliSecundus]

A bit rushed? Yeah your probably the only one who classes that as a bit rushed as most would I think see that as totally **** mental.

Glad I'm not the only one!

[KevMur]

At least 18 months, at least

[wiggyrichard]

That said, i'd quite happily entertain the idea of having kids in a year or two.

You dont have to be married to have kids.

[ender4]

i would say 1 year absolute minimum, but 2 years is acceptable.

[Shillzz]

That said, i'd quite happily entertain the idea of having kids in a year or two.

You dont have to be married to have kids.

I dont plan to be, but the mrs may see it as a make-weight.

... truly in keeping with the spirit of weddings.

[wiggyrichard]

That said, i'd quite happily entertain the idea of having kids in a year or two.

You dont have to be married to have kids.

I dont plan to be, but the mrs may see it as a make-weight.

... truly in keeping with the spirit of weddings.

What you mean?

[Chindie]

Depends on the couple.

My brother proposed to his missus very quickly, can't remember the exact length of time but it was in the low months. They then just stayed engaged for donkeys, 6 or 7 years. We all thought he was crackers to propose that quickly but they've stuck at it and it worked out.

Personally, I'd say 4 months is way too short, and not something I'd do, it's high on the '**** mental idea' scale and probably destined to be an expensive mistake. Saying that, I'm the most indecisive person on the planet. I couldn't see myself proposing if I was with someone for under 5 years, and even then it'd be a case of 'maybe'. Or maybe not, if the right person came along and I was sure about it.

But certainly not 4 months.

[snowychap]

Whenever one feels it is right, surely?

That may be day 1, day 160, day 3000 or the day after never.

[NulliSecundus]

I know people are saying whatever feels right, but how can you make a life changing decision in one day (for example?) Seriously?

[Shillzz]

My thinking being that I wouldnt mind having kids, but marriage is not on the agenda if it is at all avoidable.

The mrs' thinking being that she can blackmail me into getting married before she'll have kids! Crafty sod.

[rjw63]

Do you get to do her up the wrong 'un?

If so, ask immediately

[wiggyrichard]

My thinking being that I wouldnt mind having kids, but marriage is not on the agenda if it is at all avoidable.

The mrs' thinking being that she can blackmail me into getting married before she'll have kids! Crafty sod.

My missus never mentioned marriage until the little man arrived, now she doesnt shut up about it. My arguement is whats the rush.

[kingphil]

I guess it also depends on the age you are.

If early twenties, then you still have lots to learn - by mid 30's, you know more or less what you like/don't like and therefore will not waste your time getting to know someone you basically have nothing in common with.

Has your mate has other relationships - If so, how long did these last.

Anyway, in answer to your question - 4 months seems very keen indeed, but if he believes this is the women for him, then so be it.

[mjmooney]

My missus and I met in November 1981.

Started "going out" in January 1982.

I proposed in about March/April 1982.

We got married in September 1982. [1]

We've been married for 28 years.

Obviously "totally **** mental".

:?

EDIT: [1] We were 28 and 25 years old at the time.

First child born five years after we got married.