News story of the day

[CarewsEyebrowDesigner]

WTFWTFWTFWTFWTF

 

 

 

 

Warning: don't read this if you're eating, prone to sudden bouts of queasiness or unable to even think about Un Chien Andalou without simultaneously bursting into tears and dry-heaving. Believe me, I'm speaking from experience here.

 

Because this is an article about oculolinctus, an eye-licking fetish that is currently sweeping across the schools of Japan like, well, like a great big dirty bacteria-coated tongue sweeping across a horrific number of adolescent eyeballs.

 

Sometimes known as "worming" – which somehow makes this whole thing worse – oculolinctus is being blamed for a significant rise in Japanese cases of conjunctivitis and eye-chlamydia, which is actually a thing. It's apparently seen as a new second-base; the thing you graduate to when kissing gets boring.

 

The craze is thought to stem from a music video by Japanese emo band Born (there's a chance that the eyeball-licking scene was only included to distract everyone from the fact that the song sounds like it belongs on a menu screen for an EA Sports game about snowboarding from a decade ago, but at this point that's just speculation).

Tumblr, inevitably, is filling up with drawings and unnecessarily close-up photographs of the act, and YouTube is no stranger either. One theory about why it has taken off so spectacularly is down to the sheer number of nerve endings in the cornea. The eyeballs are incredibly sensitive because they need to detect grit and other small particles, and the sensation of oculolinctus is supposedly akin to that of toesucking.

 

Unwilling to try it myself – because my tongue isn't long enough, I don't want eye-chlamydia and just writing about this has made me retch uncontrollably – I can't tell you firsthand if that's true. Luckily, one student from the US Virgin Islands with an oculolinctus fetish has explained: "My boyfriend started licking my eyeballs years ago and I just loved it. I'm not with him any more but I still like to ask guys to lick my eyeballs ... it turns me on."

 

However, the dangers of oculolinctus are very real. As well as spreading pink-eye like nobody's business, there's also a risk of corneal scratching, which can lead to ulcers and blindness. Plus, there's a strong chance that you'll have to go to school the next day in an eye patch. At least with lovebites you could just throw on a poloneck jumper and be done with it.

 

Hopefully oculolinctus won't catch on here and will remain one of those peculiarly Japanese fads such as bagelheading (injecting saline into your forehead until it swells out of all proportion, yaeba (undergoing dental surgery to give you crooked teeth) and shippo (wearing a neurologically controlled tail that reveals your moods). Because frankly, if oculolinctus does ever make it to these shores, I'm never going to be able to look at a lychee again.

 

 

 

 

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/shortcuts/2013/jun/14/eyeball-licking-fetish-japanese-teenagers-sick?CMP=twt_gu

[BOF]

Meh, don't fancy it. Still gotta love Japan though. Mentalists.

[villaajax]

They haven't been right since the bomb was dropped.

[8pints]

This guy needs no one.

 

I think this is the self-help version

Edited June 18, 2013 by 8pints

[maqroll]

Meh, don't fancy it. Still gotta love Japan though. Mentalists.

I could get into this-

 

[BOF]

So this is a thing.

Manchester Museum bosses puzzled by ancient Egyptian statue which mysteriously turns itself

Bosses at Manchester Museum have been left puzzled by the mystery of an ancient Egyptian statuette which - a video has revealed - seems to turn itself around 180 degrees in its display case.

The 10-inch tall statue of Neb-Sanu, which dates back to 1800 BC, was found in a mummy’s tomb and has been at the Museum for eighty years.

And now a time-lapse video clearly shows it turning on its axis during the day, apparently of its own volition. During the night, however, it remains still.

Campbell Price, an Egyptologist at the museum, suggests the museum may have been struck by ancient curse.

He told the Manchester Evening News: "I noticed one day that it had turned around. I thought it was strange because it is in a case and I am the only one who has a key.

“I put it back but then the next day it had moved again. We set up a time-lapse video and, although the naked eye can’t see it, you can clearly see it rotate on the film. The statuette is something that used to go in the tomb along with the mummy.

“Mourners would lay offerings at its feet.

“In Ancient Egypt they believed that if the mummy is destroyed then the statuette can act as an alternative vessel for the spirit. Maybe that is what is causing the movement.”.

But he said Professor Brian Cox, who teaches physics at the university, has given a more worldly explanation: “Brian thinks it’s differential friction, where two surfaces - the serpentine stone of the statuette and glass shelf it is on - cause a subtle vibration which is making the statuette turn.

“But it has been on those surfaces since we have had it and it has never moved before. And why would it go around in a perfect circle?”

[Stevo985]

Must be vibrations caused by people walking past it. At night no-one is there so it doesn't move.

 

Pretty weird though.

[BOF]

Exactly. A daytime curse Still annoying that people are so willing to believe ooga booga when they can't immediately explain something. Oh and I wonder will more people come and visit the spinning statue now ...

[Jon]

Nonsense - it clearly turns during the day because that's when it wakes up. It sleeps during the night so doesn't move. Honestly, some people are so skeptical ...

[BOF]

Eh why wasn't I told about this?

NASA will pay you $17,000 to lie in bed

How many people do you know right now that need $17,000 and their only skills are laying in the bed? I can think of a lot of women I know that love to lay in the bed and scroll Instagram pictures all day.

According to a Q&A with the study’s head scientist, you can, in fact, play World of Warcraft or any other computer game while taking part in the study. Check out the full question-and-answer session for answers to all your questions, i.e. conjugal visits, food, and TV.

Well, pack your bags for Houston because NASA wants to pay you $17,000 to stay in bed for 90 straight days.

The bed-rest experiment, to take place in the Human Test Subject Facility of Johnson Space Center, is designed to allow scientists to study some of the effects of microgravity on the human body.

We read on the Bed Rest Study website:

Participants will spend 90 days lying in bed,(except for limited times for specific tests) with their body slightly tilted downward (head down, feet up). Every day, they will be awake for 16 hours and lights out (asleep) for 8 hours. Astronauts who’ve spent lengthy stays in space have suffered serious repercussions. Our bodies have evolved mechanisms to deal with a certain amount of gravitational force–namely, the amount present on Earth; reduce g and blood pools in the feet, muscles atrophy and bones lose their density. It can take astronauts (or cosmonauts) months to readjust to the Earth’s gravitational force. If you’re still interested, feel free to apply. You’ll have to pass the Air Force medical examination standards and take a blood test, which we assume means that you won’t have any help from recreational drugs to alleviate the boredom of lying prone for 2,160 hours.

[BOF]

A good-news story for the lolwut files

Netherlands is closing prisons due to a lack of prisoners

The Netherlands is closing prisons due to a serious prisoner shortage

It's a happy problem to have: The Netherlands is closing eight prisons (and sadly, cutting 1,200 jobs) because a drop in crime has left the country with a dearth of criminals. It's a reversal from the 1990s, when the prison system was overcrowded, but now the country's all set up for 14,000 prisoners, and only has 12,000 actually incarcerated. The Dutch justice ministry expects the crime rate to keep falling, so the Netherlands is working on an agreement with Belgium to import some 500 Belgian prisoners to the Netherlands' Tilburg prison. This is officially the least-American national problem ever.

Reminds me of this Fast Show sketch

[AVFCforever1991]

Maybe the US should take note.

[BOF]

No way. Who'd make the registration plates ... and the rest.

[tonyh29]

A good-news story for the lolwut files

Netherlands is closing prisons due to a lack of prisoners

The Netherlands is closing prisons due to a serious prisoner shortage

It's a happy problem to have: The Netherlands is closing eight prisons (and sadly, cutting 1,200 jobs) because a drop in crime has left the country with a dearth of criminals. It's a reversal from the 1990s, when the prison system was overcrowded, but now the country's all set up for 14,000 prisoners, and only has 12,000 actually incarcerated. The Dutch justice ministry expects the crime rate to keep falling, so the Netherlands is working on an agreement with Belgium to import some 500 Belgian prisoners to the Netherlands' Tilburg prison. This is officially the least-American national problem ever.

Reminds me of this Fast Show sketch

 

i'm sure if we legalised drugs and shagging goats like the Dutch  half our prisons would be empty as well

[AVFCforever1991]

I thought they already did that in Wales? 

[villaajax]

 

A good-news story for the lolwut files

Netherlands is closing prisons due to a lack of prisoners

The Netherlands is closing prisons due to a serious prisoner shortage

It's a happy problem to have: The Netherlands is closing eight prisons (and sadly, cutting 1,200 jobs) because a drop in crime has left the country with a dearth of criminals. It's a reversal from the 1990s, when the prison system was overcrowded, but now the country's all set up for 14,000 prisoners, and only has 12,000 actually incarcerated. The Dutch justice ministry expects the crime rate to keep falling, so the Netherlands is working on an agreement with Belgium to import some 500 Belgian prisoners to the Netherlands' Tilburg prison. This is officially the least-American national problem ever.

Reminds me of this Fast Show sketch

 

i'm sure if we legalised drugs and shagging goats like the Dutch  half our prisons would be empty as well

 

 

[legov]

Holy shit Rudd is back

 

link

 

 

P.S. "Governor-General"

Edited June 27, 2013 by legov

[maqroll]

Maybe the US should take note.

They won't, cuz private prisons always need fresh blood to lock up. Private prisons with shareholders and everything.  It's diabolical. How did my country turn into such a wretched hive of scum and villainy?

[AVFCforever1991]

 

Maybe the US should take note.

They won't, cuz private prisons always need fresh blood to lock up. Private prisons with shareholders and everything.  It's diabolical. How did my country turn into such a wretched hive of scum and villainy?

 

 

I've replied in the US politics thread, so to now derail this thread..

Edited June 27, 2013 by AVFCforever1991

[BOF]

So this is going to be a thing.

Simon Cowell Launching 'Got Talent' in Afghanistan

Simon Cowell has created an Afghan version of 'Britain's Got Talent' and is currently looking for celebrity judges to join the panel.

Simon Cowell is bringing 'Britain's Got Talent' to Afghanistan.

The music maven is branching out into new territories by launching his flagship talent show contest in the war-torn country this autumn, and is currently on the hunt for superstar judges to join the panel.

A source told The Sun newspaper: "Simon has always believed 'Got Talent' can work anywhere, because - no matter where you are - people have amazing talents.

"There may be a war raging in Afghanistan - but people are still living their lives and they enjoy watching TV just like anyone else."

Ratings have been strong for 'BGT' and its American counterpart since Simon launched the show in 2006, and spin-offs have since been created in 57 countries in total, including Australia, China and Germany.

The new Afghan format, due to be aired on more "progressive" channel 1TV, is likely to allow British troops stationed in military bases to audition for the chance of winning the big cash prize.

The insider added: "Rules are being drawn up but there is a possibility troops will be allowed to enter - assuming they can get permission."