News story of the day

[AVFCforever1991]

"What motivated him to throw a puppy at the Hell's Angels is currently unclear,"

[Ginko]

Ah a bulldozer... the ideal getaway vehicle.

[BOF]

Ummm...

Woman poisons her vagina to kill husband

Sean's Opening Story: Death by Vajayjay!

'Cunning cunnilingus' ploy almost kills man after wife put lethal toxin in her private parts

A Brazilian woman has confessed to trying to kill her husband by putting poison in her vagina and urging him to have oral sex with her, a news agency claims.

The bizarre murder plot, took place in the city of Sao de Jose Rio Preto.

The intended victim, a 43-year-old man who has not been named, says his wife tried to lure him into bed and encouraged him to perform oral sex on her. His suspicions were aroused when he noticed an unusual odour emanating from her private parts and, fearing she was unwell, took her to hospital, Brazil's Tvi24 reports. Medical tests revealed she had doused her vagina with enough of the unspecified toxin to kill both her husband and herself.

Confronted with the test results the woman reportedly confessed to her crime. It is believed she hatched the bizarre plot after asking her husband for a divorce, a request he now seems rather more likely to acquiesce to. Tvi24 says the woman has received medical treatment and sources claim her husband plans to sue her for attempted murder.

Vagina homicide is, needless to say, a highly unusual crime and a local police officer called Walter Coacino Junior has reportedly ordered "further investigation" due to the "nature" of the case. The woman may still face murder charges, he said.

[mjmooney]

The poisoned chalice.

[AVFCforever1991]

Deadliest snatch.

 

Edited February 1, 2013 by AVFCforever1991

[BOF]

I wonder how it went about that she agreed to be brought to the doctor though.

"Wow darlin' you smell rank. I'm bringing you to the doc"

Surely "no no, I'm fine" followed by a thorough gooter-wash would've followed. Maybe she felt a bit ill. Just seems strange that he'd give enough of a shit to even bring her to the doc given that she'd asked for a divorce. Sounds like he could've saved himself all manner of trouble by just leaving her to rot.

[Shillzz]

I wonder how it went about that she agreed to be brought to the doctor though.

"Wow darlin' you smell rank. I'm bringing you to the doc"

Surely "no no, I'm fine" followed by a thorough gooter-wash would've followed. Maybe she felt a bit ill. Just seems strange that he'd give enough of a shit to even bring her to the doc given that she'd asked for a divorce. Sounds like he could've saved himself all manner of trouble by just leaving her to rot.

 

My thoughts precisely.

 

Also; I didn't realise you could sue someone for attempted murder. Surely sueing people is restricted to the world of civil law?

[mjmooney]

My thoughts precisely.

 

Also; I didn't realise you could sue someone for attempted murder. Surely sueing people is restricted to the world of civil law?

Didn't Mrs. O.J. Simpson's family sue him for murder after he got off in the criminal courts?

[Shillzz]

Didn't Mrs. O.J. Simpson's family sue him for murder after he got off in the criminal courts?

 

Actually yeah that sounds familiar. 

 

Perhaps it's something peculiar to America, or perhaps not.

[AVFCforever1991]

http://gawker.com/5982891/meanwhile-in-brazil-its-raining-spiders

 

 

Think Nemo’s Bad? In Brazil It’s Raining Spiders

 

What's that? You're worried about a little snow falling on your head? How adorable.

Meanwhile, in Brazil, it's raining spiders.

 

Footage posted online yesterday shows thousands of spiders "falling from the sky" in the southern Brazilian town of Santo Antônio da Platina.

"Still do not know what causes such behavior," http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjtdwcseT1Q. "We are researching and will post the answer to the question here."

I know exactly what causes such behavior. A little something called the end of the world.

 

UPDATE: Brazilian news portal G1 reports that this footage was captured by 20-year-old web designer Erick Reis as he was leaving a friend's engagement party this past Sunday.

 

G1 spoke with a local biologist who identified the spider as Anelosimus eximius — a "social spider" species known for its massive colonies and "sheet webs." He characterized the phenomenon as "normal," which it most certainly is not.

Edited February 10, 2013 by AVFCforever1991

[leviramsey]

Probably picked up by a tornado or something and eventually rained down when the Invisible Sky Giant decided he didn't want spiders around.

[GarethRDR]

Clicky.

 

Schools locked down over "ambiguous message" taken as threat

 

AMBRIDGE — Beaver County schools had their lives “flipped, turned upside down” Thursday morning when a phone greeting involving the theme song from the 1990s sitcom “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air” was taken as a threat.

 

All schools in the county were advised to lock down for about 20 minutes while police searched for a 19-year-old Ambridge Area High School student whose greeting to callers was mistakenly taken as a threat about “shooting people outside of the school.”  The actual line from the song is “And all shooting some b-ball outside of the school.” Because it is a bit garbled, it is unclear from listening to Travis Clawson’s phone message whether he inadvertently twisted the words or it just was misheard by the receptionist from his Sewickley eye doctor’s office who sent the day’s events in motion.

 

The receptionist called the Economy man’s phone to remind him about an upcoming appointment, but Clawson did not pick up and she was sent to voice mail, where his greeting caused her to call Sewickley police, who then contacted Ambridge school officials.  When Ambridge passed the information along to local police, a countywide schools lockdown was advised because no one knew where Clawson was, and the 911 response system is designed to notify all schools of a situation.  Economy police finally made contact with Clawson late morning and discovered he was “chilling out, maxing, relaxing all cool” in the guidance office of Ambridge’s high school, which then was swarmed by officers who took him into custody.

 

James Mann, acting police chief in Ambridge, said Clawson was interviewed by police and he told them he meant no harm and that his message was just him imitating Will Smith’s rap intro to the show that ran on NBC from 1990-96 and now is rerun on ABC Family. All six seasons also are out on DVD.  District Attorney Anthony Berosh said it was determined after listening to the message closely that it did follow the Quincy Jones-penned song and Clawson was released.  Berosh said authorities decided not to charge Clawson in the incident. However, Mann said he urged Clawson’s parents to have him change the message.  Even though the situation turned out to be a mistake, Mann said, “I believe everyone acted appropriately. Our first concern is the safety of kids.”

 

Ambridge Area Superintendent Erv Weischedel chose to look at Thursday’s events as a positive.  “It gave us a wonderful chance to review our emergency procedures,” he said. “It was a good drill that went very, very well.”  In his statement sent to all district parents, Weischedel said even though the threat turned out to be false, authorities acted with “all precautions and due diligence” in their response.  “The procedures in place were efficient and quickly implemented and proved to be successful,” he said.

 

Clawson’s family, however, is not so happy with the response.  Clawson’s father, Wendell, said Thursday night that “this was just a big misunderstanding.  “An innocent young man was embarrassed,” he said. “How is he supposed to go back to school and face his classmates?”  Wendell Clawson said his family has consulted an attorney about their options.

 

Edited March 4, 2013 by GarethRDR

[tonyh29]

 

 Wendell Clawson said his family has consulted an attorney about their options.

i.e ..how much money can we try and get

 

 

That  really really  really pisses me off  ...

Edited March 4, 2013 by tonyh29

[BOF]

Giggety giggety, awright...

Finally hanging up their stockings: Twins who are Amsterdam's oldest prostitutes retire at 70 after having sex with 355,000 men

Louise and Martine Fokkens have decided they are now too old

Became prostitutes before they were 20 to escape violent relationships

Mother-of-four Louise says arthritis makes some positions 'too painful'

Complain Amsterdam's prostitutes no longer have 'sense of community'

Twin sisters believed to be Amsterdam's oldest prostitutes have retired after more than 50 years each in the sex trade.

Louise and Martine Fokkens, 70, have finally decided they are too old for the business after claiming to have slept with 355,000 men between them in a combined 100-year career.

Louise, a mother of four, has said her arthritis now makes some sexual positions 'too painful'.

Ladies in red: The twins, who usually dress in matching clothing, became prostitutes at the age of 20

Game changer: After 50 years selling sex, Louise and Martine Fokkens are giving up prostitution

And mother-of-three Martine admits she is finding it hard to attract new punters - except one elderly man who still comes for his weekly sado-maschism session.

More...

One grew up in misery - the other privilege: Fifty years on they found they were sisters - and now comes the greatest twist of all

Dark secret of the woman in Hitler's bathtub: How war photographer Lee Miller was raped as a child by a relative and forced to pose naked by her father

Last surviving member of briefcase bomb plot to kill Hitler, who earlier planned to assassinate the dictator wearing a suicide vest, dies aged 90

She said: 'I couldn't give him up. He's been coming to me for so long it's like going to church on a Sunday.'

The pair were the subject of a documentary film last year called Meet the Fokkens, and have now written a book about their combined 100-years of sexual exploits called The Ladies of Amsterdam.

Both women - who usually dress in identical red clothes - became prostitutes before the age of 20 to survive financially after escaping violent relationships.

They now look back on the 'golden years' of the profession before the Netherlands legalised prostitution and the sex trade was invaded by 'eastern European mafia'.

Louise said: 'It is very different now. We used to sit in the windows with clothes on. Today they are totally naked.

'There are few Dutch women and no sense of community these days.'

Martine added: 'The legalisation of brothels in 2000 has not improved prostitutes' lives.

Double act: Louise said she was forced to retire after arthritis made some sexual positions 'too painful'

Laid bare: The twins are hoping to survive from the book and films rights to the documentary about their lives called Meet the Fokkens

Meet the Fokkens. Amsterdam's oldest prostitutes are retiring

'There is no point working just for tax. That is why the girls are working from the internet and from home - you are less likely to be spotted by the taxman.

'It is better for the pimps and the foreigners, but not for the Dutch girls.'

Martine and Louise said they now hoped to be able to live off their earnings from the book and film rights.

Not what it used to be: Louise and Martine say there is no longer 'a sense of community' among Amsterdam's prostitutes

Warts and all: The pair were the subject of a tell-all documentary called Meet the Fokkens last year

As we say over here - Lord lanterin' jayzus.

[privateer]

**** hell, they have been munters all their lives and people have been handing over money to them for it?!

[CarewsEyebrowDesigner]

Never underestimate how desperate men can be.

[Ginko]

Speaking from experience there?

[leviramsey]

I might only be posting this because I got screwed by the same mother of all bad basketball beats

The exuberance of Iona College’s basketball team caused Chris Lawless to miss out on a $1,600 profit from a $40 wager.

Lawless, 53, bet on the Gaels as a four-point favorite over Manhattan College as part of a six-game parlay two nights ago. With victory seemingly in hand, he said he watched Iona’s eight- point lead with one second remaining turn into a three-point victory from his sofa in Las Vegas.

“It was such disbelief that I couldn’t speak,” he said. “My heart just sank.”

Iona, which won the Metro Atlantic Athletic Conference title and secured the league’s automatic berth in the National Collegiate Athletic Association tournament with the win, opened a 60-52 lead with six seconds remaining.

Manhattan took what seemed to be the final shot, a three- pointer that went in with 0.1 seconds left to bring the score to 60-55. Gaels players rushed the court to celebrate, and referees called a technical foul because the game hadn’t ended. Manhattan guard Donovan Kates hit both free throws to make it 60-57, before Iona inbounded the ball as time expired.

“It’s hard to fathom a less likely outcome, a worse beat,” RJ Bell, founder and chief executive of sports handicapping website Pregame.com, said in a telephone interview. “If you literally let your imagination be your limitation, how could it be worse?”

Bell said it was the fourth most-bet game of the night, with about 70 percent of those point-spread bets on Iona. He was unable to say the total amount wagered, whether Lawless was the biggest loser or if other bettors were left in the same position.

Lawless, who moved to Las Vegas from Houston five months ago and is between jobs in the club business, said it wasn’t the biggest loss in his 36 years of sports betting, but it was the most painful. He posted a picture of his betting slip on Twitter.

He said he bets a “few hundred dollars” a day on mostly basketball, football and baseball and he’s ahead about $7,000 in sports betting in those five months.

Four of the games in Lawless’s parlay, placed at the South Point Hotel Casino & Spa, were over before the end of the Iona game, he said. The fifth bet, for top-ranked Gonzaga to beat St. Mary’s by more than six points, was all but assured as the Bulldogs held a double-digit lead for almost the entire second half.

He said the loss won’t prevent him from wagering again.

“I can’t let one little fluke loss deter me,” he said. “Five points in the final 0.1 seconds? You’ll never see that again.”

[GarethRDR]

Awesome Japanese Politician Refuses to Remove His Wrestling Mask 

 

In professional wrestling, it’s known as kayfabe.  It’s the long-lost art of maintaining the illusion that wrestling is a legitimate competition, and that the wrestlers truly want to bash each other’s brains in.  In the olden days of Killer Kowalski and Bobo Brazil, bad guys would glare menacingly at good guys in airports and hotel lobbies, lest keen-eyed fans figure out that their feud was all a charade.

 

Kayfabe essentially died in the 1980s — Vince McMahon conceded that his WWF was “sports entertainment,” and the Internet spoiled most of wrestling’s secrets — but apparently kayfabe is alive and well in Japan.  A politician in the southern Japanese city of Oita has been banned from council meetings because he refused to remove his full-face wrestling mask.  His name: Skull Reaper A-ji.

 

Much like Jesse “The Body” Ventura — and a number of other Japanese wrestlers such asSuper Delphin and The Great Sasuke — he successfully transitioned from the wrestling ring to the political arena.  Councillor Skull Reaper was elected to office last month, likely earning the requisite 2,828 votes because of his popularity from his wrestling career.  But wearing the mask to council meetings apparently contravened a rule that states “a person taking the floor shall not wear items such as a hat.”  To remove his mask, Skull Reaper claims, would change his identity and be a disservice to the voting public.

 

“If I take my mask off, I’m an entirely different person,” he told the Nikkan Sports newspaper. “I will not take it off.”

 

Kayfabe is dead? Long live kayfabe! Arigato, Skull Crusher-san.

 

 

Edited March 15, 2013 by GarethRDR

[mjmooney]

Silly sod.