chrisp65 Posted March 4, 2011 Share Posted March 4, 2011 yeah, you should always do the right thing. We did. It was 1998. We phoned in our concerns, police came, arrested about 8 young guys who were up to general no good in a nearby house (cars / shoplifting / fencing / petty drug dealing). Police put all 8 in a van, rolled up to our front door and thanked us for phoning it in. Twunts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lombardo Posted March 4, 2011 Share Posted March 4, 2011 Calling the gardai for a bit of screaming and door banging would be a little excessive, wouldn't it? Where you living Yil? In Dublin? I'll call round for a bit of entertainment!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarewsEyebrowDesigner Posted March 4, 2011 Share Posted March 4, 2011 Ricky Gervais's mock intro for the Oscars (Drum roll) V.O. Ladies and Gentlemen. Please welcome your hosts for this evening... James Franco and Anne Hathaway (Music and applause) (James and Anne walk out looking absolutely perfect) JF Hello and welcome to The 83rd Academy Awards, Live from Los Angeles. AH That's foreign for City of Angels. And this room is certainly filled will those angels. (Applause) JF Thank you. I'm James Franco. AH ...and I'm Anne Hathaway. JF You probably know me from 127 Hours where I play a man trapped in an enclosed space who decides he would rather cut his own arm off than stay where he was. Now that sounds "way out" but wait till half way through this **** ceremony and you'll start to identify with him. AH And I'm the new Catwoman. The first white woman to play that role since Michelle Pfeiffer. I want it to be an inspiration to all white people everywhere. Your dreams can come true in Hollywood too. JF It's a daunting task hosting The Oscars but we're not alone. Presenting awards tonight will be a string of Hollywood legends and some other actors who have a film out in March or April. JF Usually they hire comedians to host The Oscars, but tonight, instead, you get us! AH No comedians tonight. And do you know why? Because comics are ugly. JF Especially that rude obnoxious one who played the Steve Carell part in the English remake of The Office. AH But you can all relax because Ricky Gervais is in London... (Nervous laughter) He's doing some charity work. Yeah, he's visiting orphans with cancer. He's telling them what bald little losers they are... JF Yeah, cos he's rude right? (Applause) Thank you. No rudeness tonight. It's going to be a night of the most privileged people in the world being told how brilliant they are and thanking God for loving them more than ugly poor foreigners. (Applause) That's not to say that we don't care. No, apart from all the great movies we made this year we continued our life-saving philanthropy. Mega stars like Angelina Jolie, George Clooney and Ben Stiller brought light to third world poverty and famine and shocked the world with visions of children so hungry they'd been living off dead beetles all their lives. AH Yeah and Yoko Ono said. "What's wrong with that?" (Laughter) JF Oh Anne you are naughty. In a respectful, wholesome way. (Nodding and smiling) That Ricky Gervais should do more for charity. (Murmurs of agreement) Ricky Gervais is now worth $80,000,000. The obnoxious Brit confirmed the figure, adding,"Yes and my dentist hasn't seen a penny." AH Yeah, why doesn't he get his teeth straightened and bleached like everyone else in Hollywood? JF It's a good question Anne. For the same reason he doesn't have botox or suck up to important producers - there's something wrong with him. AH There must be. Why isn't the stocky, fangy, little slob more like us, right? JF That ugly dude needs to get a Hollywood makeover, big time. AH Quite. And even though most of the actresses here have eating disorders, that's better than being fat right? JF You bet it is gorgeous. AH You are so handsome. JF Exactly. You know Ricky Gervais used to be bulimic. AH Really? JF Yes. He'd often gorge himself for hours with cheese and cakes. AH And then vomit right? JF No he left that bit out... (Mild laughter) AH That's because he couldn't get his fat **** fingers in his stupid mouth. (Big laugh) JF Anyway let's get this show on the road. There were some great kids' movies this year. I took a five year old to see Toy Story 3 last week. AH Did you enjoy it? JF No it was ruined for me because the little brat was screaming and crying all the way through the film saying, "Who are you?" "You're not my daddy." "Take me back to the park where you grabbed me..." (Laughter) AH Oh James, you are a card. And your slightly risky jokes are not threatening because you're one of us. And you are so handsome. JF Absolutely. So let's get this show on the road. Our first presenter is a Hollywood legend whose boots Ricky Gervais would not be fit to kiss... The wonderful... Mel Gibson... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YLN Posted March 4, 2011 Share Posted March 4, 2011 Calling the gardai for a bit of screaming and door banging would be a little excessive, wouldn't it? Where you living Yil? In Dublin? I'll call round for a bit of entertainment!!! An even better option than the police. I'll call Lombardo over to give them a talking to. Unfortunately the guy has left now though and the shouting has stopped, but I'm expecting he'll be back after a skinful of pints. I'm not far from Kevin St Garda Station. If it all kicks off, do you reckon you'd be able to make it here faster than them? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
legov Posted March 5, 2011 Share Posted March 5, 2011 A roaring match going on in the apartment below. One man screaming and banging doors and breaking stuff.. Doors banging so hard the walls in my apartment shake. A woman crying and screaming. It has happened before. Usually late at night. One time I thought there was going to be gardai outside my door the next morning asking me if i heard anything. She usually screams for him to stop, but I don't know what she's saying now. **** hell. Imagine living like this. I'm sure it's happening more and more though as people are getting tense living on a the cusp of poverty. There's probably a good deal of drink involved aswell though. There's not always drink involved, sometimes things break down or people are just crazy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
legov Posted March 5, 2011 Share Posted March 5, 2011 Ricky Gervais's mock intro for the Oscars (Drum roll) V.O. Ladies and Gentlemen. Please welcome your hosts for this evening... James Franco and Anne Hathaway (Music and applause) (James and Anne walk out looking absolutely perfect) JF Hello and welcome to The 83rd Academy Awards, Live from Los Angeles. AH That's foreign for City of Angels. And this room is certainly filled will those angels. (Applause) JF Thank you. I'm James Franco. AH ...and I'm Anne Hathaway. JF You probably know me from 127 Hours where I play a man trapped in an enclosed space who decides he would rather cut his own arm off than stay where he was. Now that sounds "way out" but wait till half way through this **** ceremony and you'll start to identify with him. AH And I'm the new Catwoman. The first white woman to play that role since Michelle Pfeiffer. I want it to be an inspiration to all white people everywhere. Your dreams can come true in Hollywood too. JF It's a daunting task hosting The Oscars but we're not alone. Presenting awards tonight will be a string of Hollywood legends and some other actors who have a film out in March or April. JF Usually they hire comedians to host The Oscars, but tonight, instead, you get us! AH No comedians tonight. And do you know why? Because comics are ugly. JF Especially that rude obnoxious one who played the Steve Carell part in the English remake of The Office. AH But you can all relax because Ricky Gervais is in London... (Nervous laughter) He's doing some charity work. Yeah, he's visiting orphans with cancer. He's telling them what bald little losers they are... JF Yeah, cos he's rude right? (Applause) Thank you. No rudeness tonight. It's going to be a night of the most privileged people in the world being told how brilliant they are and thanking God for loving them more than ugly poor foreigners. (Applause) That's not to say that we don't care. No, apart from all the great movies we made this year we continued our life-saving philanthropy. Mega stars like Angelina Jolie, George Clooney and Ben Stiller brought light to third world poverty and famine and shocked the world with visions of children so hungry they'd been living off dead beetles all their lives. AH Yeah and Yoko Ono said. "What's wrong with that?" (Laughter) JF Oh Anne you are naughty. In a respectful, wholesome way. (Nodding and smiling) That Ricky Gervais should do more for charity. (Murmurs of agreement) Ricky Gervais is now worth $80,000,000. The obnoxious Brit confirmed the figure, adding,"Yes and my dentist hasn't seen a penny." AH Yeah, why doesn't he get his teeth straightened and bleached like everyone else in Hollywood? JF It's a good question Anne. For the same reason he doesn't have botox or suck up to important producers - there's something wrong with him. AH There must be. Why isn't the stocky, fangy, little slob more like us, right? JF That ugly dude needs to get a Hollywood makeover, big time. AH Quite. And even though most of the actresses here have eating disorders, that's better than being fat right? JF You bet it is gorgeous. AH You are so handsome. JF Exactly. You know Ricky Gervais used to be bulimic. AH Really? JF Yes. He'd often gorge himself for hours with cheese and cakes. AH And then vomit right? JF No he left that bit out... (Mild laughter) AH That's because he couldn't get his fat **** fingers in his stupid mouth. (Big laugh) JF Anyway let's get this show on the road. There were some great kids' movies this year. I took a five year old to see Toy Story 3 last week. AH Did you enjoy it? JF No it was ruined for me because the little brat was screaming and crying all the way through the film saying, "Who are you?" "You're not my daddy." "Take me back to the park where you grabbed me..." (Laughter) AH Oh James, you are a card. And your slightly risky jokes are not threatening because you're one of us. And you are so handsome. JF Absolutely. So let's get this show on the road. Our first presenter is a Hollywood legend whose boots Ricky Gervais would not be fit to kiss... The wonderful... Mel Gibson... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lombardo Posted March 5, 2011 Share Posted March 5, 2011 Calling the gardai for a bit of screaming and door banging would be a little excessive, wouldn't it? Where you living Yil? In Dublin? I'll call round for a bit of entertainment!!! An even better option than the police. I'll call Lombardo over to give them a talking to. Unfortunately the guy has left now though and the shouting has stopped, but I'm expecting he'll be back after a skinful of pints. I'm not far from Kevin St Garda Station. If it all kicks off, do you reckon you'd be able to make it here faster than them? Went offline last night... Hope I didn't miss anything. Am only a 15 minute drive from there so yeah probably! Pity the fool!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zatman Posted March 5, 2011 Share Posted March 5, 2011 Surprised nobody has set up a Gary Cahill thread on main forum Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villaajax Posted March 6, 2011 Share Posted March 6, 2011 It's only just occured to me that Moby Dick is a Sperm whale... :? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YLN Posted March 6, 2011 Share Posted March 6, 2011 Calling the gardai for a bit of screaming and door banging would be a little excessive, wouldn't it? Where you living Yil? In Dublin? I'll call round for a bit of entertainment!!! An even better option than the police. I'll call Lombardo over to give them a talking to. Unfortunately the guy has left now though and the shouting has stopped, but I'm expecting he'll be back after a skinful of pints. I'm not far from Kevin St Garda Station. If it all kicks off, do you reckon you'd be able to make it here faster than them? Went offline last night... Hope I didn't miss anything. Am only a 15 minute drive from there so yeah probably! Pity the fool!!! There's an 'off'line? I'll be sure to let you know should I get into any bother at all in the Dublin 8 postcode. In other news Stevo ventured into the beehive and got stung. Silly Stevo. Jeff Bridges is on my wall in a pop art adaptation of The Dude. He's also on my television in a film called See You in the Morning. My whole perception of reality has come into serious question. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted March 6, 2011 Author VT Supporter Share Posted March 6, 2011 In other news Stevo ventured into the beehive and got stung. Silly Stevo. Eh? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YLN Posted March 6, 2011 Share Posted March 6, 2011 The beehive being the main forum and the stinging being getting engaged in a POP match with an anti-Houllier poster Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ryan. Posted March 6, 2011 Share Posted March 6, 2011 The beehive being the main forum and the stinging being getting engaged in a POP match with an anti-Houllier poster It's more pro MON than anti Houllier. Anyway, Vodka and Fanta fruit twist is niiiice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YLN Posted March 6, 2011 Share Posted March 6, 2011 Liza Minnelli was quite the attractive dame. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villaajax Posted March 6, 2011 Share Posted March 6, 2011 Police are parked outside my house, I heard them get out and slam their doors... not sure whats happening. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AVFC-Prideofbrum Posted March 6, 2011 Share Posted March 6, 2011 They dug up your pavements. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted March 6, 2011 Author VT Supporter Share Posted March 6, 2011 The beehive being the main forum and the stinging being getting engaged in a POP match with an anti-Houllier poster Ah, I see. it's hard to resist, the amount of bullshit being sprayed around in there is bound to get a reaction. But, as it was in the MON era, its the handful of super negative posters who shout the loudest, and any attempt to counter it with an argument just gets shot down with ridicule. Oh well, I feel another VT leave of absence coming on! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theunderstudy Posted March 6, 2011 Share Posted March 6, 2011 Don't do it Stevo, stay and fight. Seriously though I', fed up with it. Sooner or later I'm going to go on a proper verbal rampage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
B36villa Posted March 6, 2011 Share Posted March 6, 2011 *sits back and waits with interest* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ingram85 Posted March 6, 2011 Share Posted March 6, 2011 'nothing to worry about mr ajax, but could you clarify exactly where you were last night between midnight and six this morning?' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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