Jez Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 Chuck Norris is a ginger pussy That can't act... Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one. Chuck Norris always has sex on the first date. Always. A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there. Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own. There is no such thing as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks. Chuck Norris never cries, because of this when he's sad he roundhouse kicks himself and it makes him feel better since he knows he is the only one who can survive the roundhouse. Chuck Norris does not procreate, he breeds When asked what type of vehicle he drives, Chuck Norris responded slyly with "Don't you mean what kind of vehicle drives me?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted October 9, 2008 VT Supporter Share Posted October 9, 2008 10 times more people a year die from travelling by donkey than die from travelling by aeroplane. In a similar vein, you're more likely to be killed putting your trousers on than in a aeroplane. What if you put your trousers on IN an aeroplane - that would be verging on the suicidal, surely? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyh29 Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 Fanta was invented for the Nazi's too. Due to rationing during the war and the lack of Coca Cola ingredients that would have been associated with it. I'd heard this one mentioned before and it was "debunked" some time ago in History Today It was invented by a German (max Keith) who took over Coca Cola Germany when Ray Powers died .... he wasn't a Nazi ,indeed when pressured to be one he refused (and suffered for it ) .... he didn't make the drink at the direction of the Third Reich but merely as a way of keeping the factories open and preserving assets .... so it came about as an indirect result of the war / Nazi's but not for them ... so no need to boycott Fanta just yet ....BMW's on the other hand ......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nigel Posted October 9, 2008 VT Supporter Share Posted October 9, 2008 If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits. There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stevo985 Posted October 9, 2008 VT Supporter Share Posted October 9, 2008 Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise. I HATE these **** chuck norris statements, but I must admit that one made me smile. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nigel Posted October 9, 2008 VT Supporter Share Posted October 9, 2008 Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise. I HATE these **** chuck norris statements, but I must admit that one made me smile. Most of them seem to be written by adolescent tekkie geek nerds, but there are a few that tickled me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paddy Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 In a similar vein, you're more likely to be killed putting your trousers on than in a aeroplane. :shock: How's the hell would you kill yourself putting your trousers on? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benevans Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 Sorry but couldn't resist posting one last Chuck Norris statement: Chuck Norris can shoot down an aeroplane by making a gun shape using his thumb and index finger. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted October 9, 2008 VT Supporter Share Posted October 9, 2008 In a similar vein, you're more likely to be killed putting your trousers on than in a aeroplane. :shock: How's the hell would you kill yourself putting your trousers on?Oh I could do it easy, especially when pissed. Standing up, get one leg in, balance on that leg and try and get the other one in, both legs in same trouser leg, overbalance, fall and smash head on nearby hard object. Sorted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wiganvillain Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 In a similar vein, you're more likely to be killed putting your trousers on than in a aeroplane. :shock: How's the hell would you kill yourself putting your trousers on? Her husbands arrived home with a shotgun and you take the time to put your trousers on :winkold: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paddy Posted October 10, 2008 Share Posted October 10, 2008 George Foreman has four sons, could be five actually. All are called George. Sure that never got confusing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anthony Posted October 10, 2008 VT Supporter Share Posted October 10, 2008 All even numbers are the sum of two prime numbers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gort Posted October 10, 2008 Share Posted October 10, 2008 George Foreman has four sons, could be five actually. All are called George. Sure that never got confusing. Unimaginative bastard Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted October 10, 2008 VT Supporter Share Posted October 10, 2008 All even numbers are the sum of two prime numbers.That's probably not a useless fact. But I wouldn't know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Artetasgirl Posted October 10, 2008 Visiting Supporter Share Posted October 10, 2008 All even numbers are the sum of two prime numbers.That's probably not a useless fact. But I wouldn't know. I'd say it was unless you were doin GCSE maths. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted October 10, 2008 VT Supporter Share Posted October 10, 2008 All even numbers are the sum of two prime numbers.That's probably not a useless fact. But I wouldn't know. I'd say it was unless you were doin GCSE maths.That's what I mean. Useful to somebody. I wish I was better at maths, I suspect it COULD be fascinating if you "get" it, but it's something I've always been utterly crap at. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Artetasgirl Posted October 10, 2008 Visiting Supporter Share Posted October 10, 2008 All even numbers are the sum of two prime numbers.That's probably not a useless fact. But I wouldn't know. I'd say it was unless you were doin GCSE maths.That's what I mean. Useful to somebody. I wish I was better at maths, I suspect it COULD be fascinating if you "get" it, but it's something I've always been utterly crap at. me too. *high 5s* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anthony Posted October 10, 2008 VT Supporter Share Posted October 10, 2008 I took my O level a year early and got an A, although I only found out the thing about prime numbers last night on Radio 4. Incidentally, no one's ever disproved it, but some argue that it's also unproveable (cue my brain melting). Also, despite my O level, I am, alas, still laughably unemployable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paddy Posted October 10, 2008 Share Posted October 10, 2008 Doesn't 1 count as a prime number then? Because you can't add 2 prime numbers to get that. And if it doesn't count surely 2 (which is only divisible by itself and 1) wouldn't fit in with this theory? Or have I missed something? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjmooney Posted October 10, 2008 VT Supporter Share Posted October 10, 2008 Doesn't 1 count as a prime number then? Because you can't add 2 prime numbers to get that. And if it doesn't count surely 2 (which is only divisible by itself and 1) wouldn't fit in with this theory? Or have I missed something? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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