And a copy of Razzle please

[Xela]

Teenage lads don't know they are born nowadays. Today you just go online and can watch a video of a woman being DHUTWU by three guys... at the same time!

Whereas back in my day, I'd have to go to great lengths just to see a dog eared photo of a hairy muff! 

[ferguson1]

Owned such a quality porn video in my youth and rather than hide it, I had it on the video shelf in my room with all my other normal films.  The secret of my parents not sussing was to label the cassette with “Italia 90 Highlights”. They never twigged 

[snowychap]

Cut out pictures from a 1984/5 Penthouse, stuck them in an A6 notebook and charged fellow boarders to look through them.

Nice little earner until some clearing in the woods dropped it at the foot of a teacher.

[foreveryoung]

Last year at senior school used to go the shop over at falcon Lodge, grab a few Diamond whites and head off to our mates house, his ole man had a right stash, filthy ones too. One of my pals could never get past 15 minutes, used to have to go the toilet for a wee apparently.

[VILLAMARV]

I had 2 coppers search my room once when I lived with my folks. They found no contraband (obviously - what the hell vt) but only because the imports all had black dots on the good bits. 

To this day full stops give me the horn. (Not really)

[VILLAMARV]

I do like to think the wpc had an epic wank after work though.

(I'm acting all hard I was soooo embarrassed at the time)

[Xela]

I remember purchasing my first adult magazine(s). It wasn't a spur of the moment decision. Oh no, it was a well thought out and planned operation. I put so much recon work into it, Andy McNab would have been proud. I'd only ever seen a few magazines before of this type that had belonged to friends but i'd never had any of my own to cherish and peruse at leisure. I must have been 15 or 16 and I was a fairly shy kid so I wasn't getting much attention at school from the girls so I thought I could seek solace in the glossy photos of adult erotica. 

First thing was to choose my shop. I considered a few options but ended up ruling them out as the magazines were too close to the counter or the shop was too small and I would feel rushed. I chose what was effectively a mini-mart. It was on the Chester Road in Erdington, opposite Pype Hayes park. Its still there but haven't been in there in 20 years or so. 

I did a few test runs to check how busy it was and the get a feel for the layout of the shop. The tills were on the right hand side as you go on and the magazines on the far left of the shop, a few aisles away from the tills. I could therefore pretend to be looking at music or car magazines while my eyes darted upwards to check put the smut on the top shelf without feeling as though I as being watched. After a few dummy runs where I just purchased a Bargain Pages or Exchange or Mart I decided it was mission time. 

My heart was beating as I approached the shop. I had my fake ID in my Aston Villa velcro wallet, my Head rucksack and I was buzzing! I was thinking if it didn't feel right I would abandon the mission but it all stacked up. Shop was fairly quiet and there was a middle aged man behind the counter. I probably wouldn't have gone ahead with it if it has been a woman serving out of pure embarrassment. Anyway, in I went straight to the magazines. I picked up a newspaper to pretend to leaf through while I sneakily looked on the top shelf. I chose 2 magazines and my arm shakily went up and retrieved them. i couldn't look at them as they were in cellophane. A quick glance over my shoulder and the route was clear. There was only one or two other people in there and they were doing a shop. 

I handed my magazines over to the chap who gave me a dirty look and asked if I had any ID. Of course I do I said in a squeaky voice, as my hand shakily reached into my wallet. He looked at my fake ID for what felt like an age before handing it back to me before scanning the barcodes etc. By this point I was aware of someone standing behind me a the counter and I could feel myself getting redder and redder. Eventually I completed the purchase, stuffed them into my rucksack and left the shop. The sense of relief I had was amazing. Similar I imagine to how Seal Team Six felt after putting a bullet into Bin Laden. 

The magazines were Parade and Whitehouse. The latter was a good pick as it was 'hardcore' so you got to see the business area being 'spread' as opposed to the softcore ones which refrained from such vulgarity. I went back to the shop 2 or 3 more times over that summer and got together a good selection of pornography. I still remember the names of the models in the magazines of that era with the same ease I do Villa players from the same period: Charmaine Sinclair, Vida Garman, Teresa May (lol), Debbie Corrigan, Belinda Charlton and the infamous Lindsey Dawn McKenzie. Halcyon days. 

[snowychap]

25 minutes ago, VILLAMARV said:

I do like to think the wpc had an epic wank after work though.

(I'm acting all hard I was soooo embarrassed at the time)

Ironically, you probably were when thinking about the WPC...

[snowychap]

11 minutes ago, Xela said:

I must have been 15 or 16

Really?

[Xela]

3 minutes ago, snowychap said:

Really?

I think so. I had quite a sheltered upbringing! I'd seen jazz mags before, at school, but none of my own!

[snowychap]

1 minute ago, Xela said:

I think so. I had quite a sheltered upbringing! I'd seen jazz mags before, at school, but none of my own!

Gosh, I'm feeling a little precocious (not sure that's the most apt word but).

Slight tangent (just to put this in to perspective) - when was your first booze purchase?

[Xela]

2 minutes ago, snowychap said:

Gosh, I'm feeling a little precocious (not sure that's the most apt word but).

Slight tangent (just to put this in to perspective) - when was your first booze purchase?

Haha, I'd had many tugs to 'Page 3' by this point in time but yeah I was late into the appreciation of porn!

I honestly can't remember my first booze purchase. I wasn't a huge drinker in my teens unless I was out clubbing at 17/18.

I kind of grew up a lot between 15/16 and 17/18 in terms of everything. It was like 5 years of knowledge and wisdom into 2 years.

 

[snowychap]

15 minutes ago, Xela said:

Haha, I'd had many tugs to 'Page 3' by this point in time but yeah I was late into the appreciation of porn!

I honestly can't remember my first booze purchase. I wasn't a huge drinker in my teens unless I was out clubbing at 17/18.

I kind of grew up a lot between 15/16 and 17/18 in terms of everything. It was like 5 years of knowledge and wisdom into 2 years.

I think I grew up too early.

Edit: With the proviso that I still haven't completely grown up!!

[rjw63]

@Xela times must have changed, no such thing as ID when I was a lad. Sidhu News outside the LDV plant was one of my purchasing spots.

I even used to slit the polythene if they were sealed so I could check I wasn't wasting any money on ugly hairy clunges

[mjmooney]

3 hours ago, Xela said:

I remember purchasing my first adult magazine(s). It wasn't a spur of the moment decision. Oh no, it was a well thought out and planned operation. I put so much recon work into it, Andy McNab would have been proud. I'd only ever seen a few magazines before of this type that had belonged to friends but i'd never had any of my own to cherish and peruse at leisure. I must have been 15 or 16 and I was a fairly shy kid so I wasn't getting much attention at school from the girls so I thought I could seek solace in the glossy photos of adult erotica. 

First thing was to choose my shop. I considered a few options but ended up ruling them out as the magazines were too close to the counter or the shop was too small and I would feel rushed. I chose what was effectively a mini-mart. It was on the Chester Road in Erdington, opposite Pype Hayes park. Its still there but haven't been in there in 20 years or so. 

I did a few test runs to check how busy it was and the get a feel for the layout of the shop. The tills were on the right hand side as you go on and the magazines on the far left of the shop, a few aisles away from the tills. I could therefore pretend to be looking at music or car magazines while my eyes darted upwards to check put the smut on the top shelf without feeling as though I as being watched. After a few dummy runs where I just purchased a Bargain Pages or Exchange or Mart I decided it was mission time. 

My heart was beating as I approached the shop. I had my fake ID in my Aston Villa velcro wallet, my Head rucksack and I was buzzing! I was thinking if it didn't feel right I would abandon the mission but it all stacked up. Shop was fairly quiet and there was a middle aged man behind the counter. I probably wouldn't have gone ahead with it if it has been a woman serving out of pure embarrassment. Anyway, in I went straight to the magazines. I picked up a newspaper to pretend to leaf through while I sneakily looked on the top shelf. I chose 2 magazines and my arm shakily went up and retrieved them. i couldn't look at them as they were in cellophane. A quick glance over my shoulder and the route was clear. There was only one or two other people in there and they were doing a shop. 

I handed my magazines over to the chap who gave me a dirty look and asked if I had any ID. Of course I do I said in a squeaky voice, as my hand shakily reached into my wallet. He looked at my fake ID for what felt like an age before handing it back to me before scanning the barcodes etc. By this point I was aware of someone standing behind me a the counter and I could feel myself getting redder and redder. Eventually I completed the purchase, stuffed them into my rucksack and left the shop. The sense of relief I had was amazing. Similar I imagine to how Seal Team Six felt after putting a bullet into Bin Laden. 

WARNING: NSFW

 

[Villan_of_oz]

Haha this thread has brought back memories....

I use to keep my stash of mags underneath the bottom draw of bedside table, most bedside tables have a little gap between the bottom draw and the floor.

One day I came home from school and thought I'd have a gander at some lovely jubblies and they weren't there. A quick through the draws and there they were in the top draw. I knew I hadn't put them there.

At that point my Mum pops her head around the door and said she was vacuuming under all my furniture and found my magazines. I awkwardly asked her why they were in the top draw, and she replied "well because they'll be easier to get to, you silly duffer" 

Ambivalence followed thereafter, caught between stoked she didn't throw them away and completely weirded out that she didn't throw them away.

[GarethRDR]

5 hours ago, VILLAMARV said:

To this day full stops give me the horn.

Period fetishist, eh?

[KentVillan]

I had a babysitter who was the teenage son of a family friend. I suppose he was about 13 or 14. I was 9 or 10. He used to bring his porn stash around and we'd lie on the bed together looking at pictures of (I think) Rod Stewart (maybe a Rod Stewart lookalike) shagging extremely bushy clearings in the woods.

I often wonder whether there are some suppressed child abuse memories, but afaik he was just a harmless pervert sharing the wealth.

Edited April 26, 2020 by KentVillan

[LondonLax]

11 hours ago, ferguson1 said:

Owned such a quality porn video in my youth and rather than hide it, I had it on the video shelf in my room with all my other normal films.  The secret of my parents not sussing was to label the cassette with “Italia 90 Highlights”. They never twigged